Love addiction. How to break it????

Hello, my name is Fay and I have am a Loveaholic.......

Lol.

I am of a quandary........I have terrible problems in relationships with letting go. I will stick with less than savoury circumstances for years, with the connection only ever being broken by the object of my addiction........I'll have a niggling feeling in the pit of my gut that I need to get out, and I'm worth a lot more, but I can never do it!

I've spent the last 2 years in a terribly destructive relationship with a guy whose cheated on me about 7 times.....whose lied to and deceived me multiple times, and frequently broke dates and arrangements to go get stoned and what have you.

We have split up about 3 or 4 times, due to the fact, any time we have a problem, instead of sorting it out he just dumps me....and then gets back with me when the waters cooled.....

I know he's awful for me, but then, the emotional part of me, that loves him and doesn't wanna lose him forever, always wins out over the rational part of me that says "just let go!"

Currently we are parted, and I had a wonderful friday night watching him getting it on with another girl all night, who he took home and fucked.......after he'd said he missed me, and we could talk about stuff in the week...........I kinda think maybe he's stringing a line.....keeping me in the reserves for when pussy is dry..........

I saw him today, and he told me he loves me and misses me, and maybe there'll be a chance in a few weeks........but we still came no closer to anything certain.....I know I shouldn't even have gone to meet him....and Im cheating MYSELF....

But I can't seem to break this goddamn addiction to him.....when I have him, I resent him for all he's done, and the hold he has over me, and his inability to be a good boyfriend......and when I've not got him, I feel like Im gonna break apart....

I know I have a big problem, that lies solely with myself, and whatever underlying issues go along with this whole mess.......But how do I break this??????? How do I break this fixation and addiction to a man???? and an utterly crap man at that!

And how do I stop myself from falling into the same patterns again and again????

I feel so pathetic.......

 

i dont know what else to say but just stop all contact with him. its not worth it. you deserve much better. words are only words, do not let him rope you in with that. if his actions dont show he loves you then he doesnt, and you should never waste time on people who could get along fine without you. to me it seems he only wants you around when its convenient. i know this because i did the same thing at one point, its horrible i know. but let me tell you that you dont want to be with a person like that. they will never commit to you. you're not right for each other and you need to grieve and move on. finally, you are not pathetic. you love him and that is something that we as humans cannot control. dont feel bad for that, because it isnt your fault.

 

Girl, man up. You just told yourself what you need to do. Good Luck doing it!

 

I hate that, I use to deprive on the littlest things in relationships.

But the fact is you know, and ANYONE you tell it to knows that you clearly deserve better. I usually use the thought that there's more than a billion other guys in the world, and how could this be true love or even worth it... You want his compassion and such, but you know what he's doing behind your back and infront of you.

Simply not worth it. It's going to be rhetorical and happen over and over again.
Like Principessa said, block all contact with him, anything that makes you think of him. Get out with your friends, whom you probably enjoy more than with him.

I'd say go socialize with a couple guys, and the fact that they'll most likely start to flirt or something with you will boost your morale about this guy, and make you move on alot easier and smoother.

 

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! RUN AWAY AS FAST AS YOU CAN.. sweetie hate to be the bearer or bad news but unless something drastic happened.. men like that don't change and you don't need to be in a abusive relationship like that.. I've had to learn the hard way too.. just let go, you'll be proud of yourself for doing it and you wont waste anymore of your life on assholes like that.. you deserve to be loved and happy you deserve a man who wont treat you like that.. so why waste MORE of your time with him when you could spend that time on someone who deserves it..
good luck!