Bisexuality becoming a fad?

so was that a yes to threesomes?

 

^^ lol

 

two guys or two girls?

 

LOL, What? Just cos you work with them doesnt mean anything. I work for a retail chain where half the employees are teen girls. whatever label they call themsleves at work doesnt mean anything, you'd have to be there socialising with them, see them at parties, see who they are really hooking up with to know the truth. Work collegues, parents, immediate family are usually the last to know.

At 16, the real deal, Gays and Lesbians that are likely to go through life playing for just one team, half of them if not most of them arent going to go around telling people, they are going to fly under the radar. Its only half about shame or discrimination, the other half is so they can do things like secretly hook up with their best friends brother or dad, a teacher or even a friends partner. Or simply so you dont have to go around answering stupid questions

More often than not the type that has to go around reinforcing their sexuality is the type that has to convince themselves first.

The fake innocence thing is stuff we learn off some straight girls, act all innocent to everyone else when your 16 so you can get with your best friends dad without anyone suspecting. Let the straights think homo is all about girly guys, butch girls, so at least the other half can run free.

Generalizing? That PC crap is in part stuff we throw up ourselves to throw straights off track. Gaydar works on generalizing and stereotyping, look furthest away from the average male, average female or past a certain level of angrogyny and you are more likely to find gay or bi.

Straight person comes along and says something like "The gay lisp doest always mean they're are gay, one of my dad's workmates talks like that, but he's not gay, he's married and has three kids" like its somehow impossible for gay guy and gay girl to come together to breed.

The reason it gets under my skin when girl starts up with "Well, I know lots of gay guys and they...." Is cos they are usually the ones that feel they need to speak for us. When most of us are like "No sweetie, pipe down, we've gotten great use of that empathy card, and we want that to continue" Sister of another gay guy, brother of another gay girl, they are in the end the only straight people that are really going to know us, the only ones that are really going to be treated like family. Any other female, doesnt matter how many supposed gay friends she has in adult life is always going to think gay is more about sex to some degree.

As for being their spokesperson, Gay before puberty is a rather different thing to Gay after puberty, I never expect the later to listen to me. The former would probably prefer I keep my mouth shut.

As for you just write me off as a bitchy older gay guy. I know full well you would be a nicer person than me and no I'm not saying that sarcastically

 

You can only speak for yourself. (Mid teens; most of them are 18-19 now, I just think of them of being much younger because when I met them they were 16.) Anyways, I'm not arguing with you I am only speaking from my point of view. I have been to parties and social events with them, and most of us are really close. Our store is like a big family. ALSO most of them are women, not men. Which you assumed they were mostly men. All I was getting at is that the ones I know have switched back and forth a few times. Probably because they're still growing up and are just trying to find themselves (not to mention the whole 'peer pressure' thing.)

Being bi sucks at times. At our work place in the past we have a had a few older, 'influential' lesbians who looked down on bisexuals, so i'm sure being 17 and hearing that wouldn't have been easy. A lot of the lesbian community I've met tend to think of me [bisexuals] as sitting on the fence. I've been asked quite a few times 'when am i going to make my mind up?'. No one takes bisexuals seriously. I just wish the acceptance everyone seems to want in the lesbian community would be carried through to bisexuals. Being bisexual isn't a choice, as much as some people think it is.

Bi curious and bisexual get mixed up too much. The ones who are prancing around with the other sex just because it looks good, or because it's popular, are the bi-curious, not the bisexual.

 

What I was on about before about Gay before puberty vs Gay after Puberty
Lifetime exclusive lesbian usually you'll find went through stuff / was trained early childhood 6 and under range, Mostly exclusive lesbian more about a bit later that 7-14 range. Sounds like not that much of a difference, but totally different mindset.

But the main point as far as you are concerned is that lifetime exclusive lesbian cant really grasp why you're even interested in guys, where as mostly exclusive lesbian dont understand why you'd bother with guys if you like girls in that way anyway, in that way its more an extreme form of bi.

So acceptance, not really about what one looks like, or even sex or love, but trying to grasp what actually is going on in the head of each catergory. Very hard to do if you havent been through certain things yourself. Like trying to get into the head of a girl that enters prostitution for the sex, or a transexual

 

Maybe. But you do talk in broad strokes as a matter of routine, and seldom offer much rebuttal to those who question them than "open your eyes, man!", so... I dunno, seems like it's actually got very little to do with "PC". People are being polite and reserved by telling you that you're generalising. Really, they just don't want to out and out tell you that you're wrong.

 

^^^^

What does it matter if I'm right or wrong? If someone thinks I'm wrong just write me off as a crazy nutter.

Broad strokes....ok..I'll try something a bit more specific, addicted was talking about all the gay guys she knows. She's only going to know the ones that tell her they are gay, or the ones she's seen some clear evidence from. She's not going to know the ones that hide that from her, the ones that dont tell her. Or the ones that dont really go near women


Hoatzin, I will endevour in the future to try make sure my posts dont come off like I think I'm right. But as for specifics, do you mean things like pulling research figures etc?, some of this stuff is unresearchable, and a lot of issues in the gay/bi forums are broad anyway

 

Oh I'm sorry should I clarify and say " all the gay men i know OF?" I wasn't claiming to know a large amount of them. Your extremely literal, and have gone off the topic of what we were actually speaking about to begin with because of your knit picking at every word I (and others) say.

 

Think everybody is becoming a little pedantic now. Well, maybe some more than others.

 

I wasnt attacking you, I was just using that as an example, sorry if it came off a bit too impersonal.

My point was gay people that the rest of the population can "see" arent representative of all gay people possibly not even the majority, its something everyone gets sucked into gay, bi and straight alike.

And kind of what this thread is about, its the same with bi. Bisexual and a teenager, the real deal, when the main motivation is love/intimacy/sex, they are more likely not to go around telling everyone. If the main motivation is attention, then they are more likely to go around telling people

Bisexuality becoming a fad? At least half of bi, no one has any real idea about collectively. Tolerance isnt the only reason some gay/bi dont come out

 

Dude that song is fairly new. And back when I was a freshman we had girls talk about being bi. All the time. Its not a "cool" thing. Its an attention thing. See your in high school right. And your in a class with a bunch of girls who are just as slutty. To get the attention of your male target you imply that if he talks to you, he's going to get to ride the tryke. But in reality he's probably going to get to see you make out with your friend.
Little girls will say whatever they have too to seem more mature. I had bi friends in school. Real bi ones. You know how you can tell the difference? The one's who are really bi don't run around telling people they just met "Oh and you know, well I'm bi so -giggle-"
Didn't happen. They didn't hide it, but they didn't feel the need to cram it down your throat neither.

 

Every 10 years or so some song comes out that makes people wonder if it's causing young girls to go through the "bi phase".

I think that every young girl goes through a time where she is curious and/or wonders about her sexuality. To call it a fad though doesn't really fit. If we all do it then it can't really be a fad. It's part of the human condition to question ones sexuality.

 

Well, I don't think it is because of the song, in holland it's already this way a few years.
I think alot of people are curious to bi/gay and they think it's exiting, so they call thereself bisexual.
They think it's cool because you're diffrent than others, so most people arn't bi-sexual but bi-curious, bi-curious isn't a real 'sexuality' ofcourse, but it does excist, just like emo-sexual. Sounds weird huh?
But alot of emo/sce kids call thereselfs bi because they really like the style, so it don't matter what the gender is anymore.

Also it's weird that the most of that people are girls.

I think it's not really fair to call yourself Bi when you did never fall in love with someone of the same sex.
Because, if some girl is really bisexual people might think: 'o, it's probally not true'

The problem that will be created by this is that if a real lesbian/bisexual girl fall in love with some bi-curious type that calls herself bisexual, they start a relationship and the bi-curious might not be in love so the heart of the real lesbian/bisexual can be broken very easily because the bi-curious just wanted to know how a relationship with another girl feld like... I get so sick of that people that call themselfes bi but arn't...

 

You started off strong but then you said that ^

1) As far as we know it's mostly girls, only because it is more acceptable in our society to be a bi girl then a bi guy.

2) There are many straight people who have never been in love, and so when someone starts a relationship with another person there is always the chance that there will be stronger feelings coming from one partner: feelings that may not be shared with the other. Whether they are gay/straight/bisexual.

So that statement has nothing to do with sexuality.

 

I don't think that pop culture can change who you are honestly and truly attracted to, but it can make it more socially acceptable to be bi-curious, and it can be quite trendy to be a fake bisexual - a girl who only does girls because she wants to impress guys with how trashy and cool she is.

The labels are bullshit anyway. Nobody is really 100% anything. I consider myself to be something like 85% straight and 15% lesbian. I don't know what the label is for that, and I don't really give a damn. If I had to come up with a definition for bisexual, I would say that it is anyone who is less than 100% straight or gay, which is pretty much every honest person on earth.

Until you have done a little experimentation, nobody really knows what your sexual preferences are. I think it's a shame that it is so much less socially acceptable for young guys to have those learning experiences. If things like the Katy Perry song help girls have the courage to experiment and risk mistreatment from prudes, then they are socially useful and important. Somebody needs to help the guys out in a similar way.

 

I think it's a bit of a fad.
Especially concerning the "alternative" teenagers of society.
And i'd also like to say that it ISN'T just girls, although it is less so with guys.
This, i'm assuming, is something to do with masculinity or some crap like that XD

But i don't think it's owed only to the songs about such things.
i think it's more something to "be individual" (which, might i add, failed miserably because EVERYONE did it to be individual -.-; ) and to be something away from mainstream society....

I know plenty of people who claim to be bisexual but have yet to actually prove it.
However on the same note i know plenty of people who claim to be bisexual and HAVE proved it

~G
xXxXx

 

How exactly does one prove it?

Do you expect your straight friends to prove they are straight as well?

 

Understand that when I say "prove it" i don't mean that i expect them to whack out a certificate or anything.

Generally though, one expects someone who claims to be bisexual to have some form of attraction to members of the same sex as well as those of the opposite sex.

Now, I know pretty much all of the alt kids in my area and amongst them there are a fair few who claim to be bisexual.
I'm not saying that they're all lying because one of them is one of my best friends.

He went out with a girl I know quite well for eight months, and when they split he came to me for breakup sex. A few months later he came to me for advice on how he should go about asking out a guy he liked.
That, to me, shows that he's bisexual.

However also in this group are the people who say (at any oppurtunity they get) that they are bisexual and, as far as anyone knows, have never demonstrated ANY form of attraction to members of the same sex (or opposite, although this seems less likely).

Don't misunderstand me.
I'm not slagging anyone off here.

Not exactly.
The only way to prove it would be to not disprove it.

If someone's claiming to be bisexual then all we have to go on is their word unless they have, at some point, shown affection to a member of the same (or opposite) sex.
And surely if they're calling themselves bisexual for everyone to hear, then they would have no problem showing this affection.

~G
xXxXx

 

Has it ever occurred to you that maybe their sexuality is none of your business whether or not that they have proclaimed to be bisexual? Some people keep their feelings about others to themselves or just close friends. Considering you don't sound like you're very involved in this other person life, you would actually have no idea about them talking about the same sex in an affectionate way. Nobody has to prove anything to you.