okay. im new to this whole forum thing... but im going to try it out. i started dating my best guy friend a few months ago. i absolutely love him to death. before we started dating, we confided in eachother about things that we would never imagine telling anyone else. and one of the things that he told me was that he was bi-curious. so i told him i would set him up with one of my gay friends to give him the experience... he backed out. so then i took him to the sex shop and he bought a few anal toys. and lastly, he actually found someone who he wanted to experience with and was emailing him back and forth... the whole time this was going on, he had a gf. so. after him and the girl broke up, we started fucking... and eventually he was calling me his gf. well... 3 days ago i went to his house and got on his computer. i looked on the ground and his pants were on the floor... they had obviously been taken off so he could masterbate. i mean be for real. im human. i know whats up. so i proceeded to look at the history on his computer. ALL of it was gay porn. ALL of it. no pussy. no tits. nothing. only guys giving head and anal. i went into complete shock and confronted him about it. he swears up and down that hes not gay. its just something he was getting off to. he only likes it when he's horny. he could never actually do it... so he says. but my question is, if all this is true, why were there no girls? why only guys? so lastly. tonight i was looking around and found a post where he had actually written about an experience giving another guy head. in detail. he has told me that he would NEVER EVER do it. EVER. and it pisses him off really bad when i call him gay. but thats what it looks like to me. especially now. so. im a little worried. if he is gay, fine. i would accept him. if he's bi, cool. im bi too. its whatever. but i just want him to be honest. is he scared of losing me? is he scared of what people will think? or is he really just straight and just looking for a new experience? is it possible for him to actually be straight and be turned on by guys? please help. this is a very weird situation that i never pictured myself in. any help will be MUCH appreciated. thanks!
Besides the obvious "Why were you looking at his history?" Being attracted to men, in my opinion, makes him bisexual. But that still doesn't actually mean he would do those things. Sexuality issues can be touchy. Either wait for him to come clean or talk to him calmly and reassure him you just want him to be honest.
the only reason i looked through his history was because of the way his pants were positioned on the floor... and i mean i obviously have reason to be concerned. but yes, its ended up being a very very touchy issue for him. he doesnt really even like for me to bring it up.
It's not your business whether he's bi or straight. But if you are having sex with him and you have reason to believe that he is having sex with someone else, whether male or female, then you need to talk to him. It's a matter of personal safety at that point. But sneaking around and confronting him on the internet is only going to make him shut down. If he is not willing to be honest with you, then you need to stop having sex with him.
i appreciate your opinion. i agree... if this was happening with a female i would be reacting the same way. but this guy is the closest person i have in my life and if he cant be honest with me about this, then he wont be honest with me about everything. like i am with him. oh and i didnt confront him on the internet. ha. i just FOUND the things on the internet. i have only talked to him about this in person.
If I was to get off to porn, it would be gay porn. You do the math! I don't care what anyone says, there's a degree of same sex attraction if you are to masturbate to such things. Even though looking on his history is wrong, he is quite possibly hiding things from you also, so it balances out. He should open up and not be so evasive with you, nothings ever so black and white. I knew a guy very similar, now although he never admitted he was gay, has been in a relationship for two years. And yes, that's with a man.
i completely completely agree. and you are right... i shouldn't have looked at his history. but the only reason i did was because i had really strange suspicions... especially since he had once confided in me that he thought he might be bi. i've told him time and time again that i would not leave him if he was bi and that it wouldn't change anything. so why is he still so adamant that he is straight? does he not know that i can see through the bullshit?
uhhh yeah i think he's bi or complete gay and using you as camouflage, but then again he might just be curios, hmm isn't there anyone (that you know and trust) that can give him a scare and make up his mind?
yeah i actually thought about that. ha. my very best friend is gay and i asked if him or a friend would try something... im just waiting til it doesn't look soooo suspicious since i just found out and everything. he might know that im setting him up.
Actually I had the same problem with my ex. We dated in secret for quite some time, there were rumors around our school ((this was back in Highschool)) that he was gay just because he wore fitting pants and was kinda... idk.. Glam..? I found him getting off to gay porn in his bedroom when I walked in. He later opened up that he was bi- he said that he knew he could be with a girl so there was no need to look at that porn, but it was a fantasy to be with a man and that's why he always got off to it. Men have pride. But.... I say try the test I did. Ask him if he's game for a 3some. If so, ask him whether he wanted to try it with another guy. Sometimes that's just what they need. I'm bi- and I don't think id ever be able to go without a girl sometimes Though we broke up shortly after that, he confided in me a couple weeks ago that it was just the thing he wanted at the time, because he had never been open about it because no one would approach the subject with acceptance. Just my experience, it may not work with your situation, but I just thought id share and hope it helped in some way ::hugs::
thanks a lot! it helps a lot to know im not the only person in the world who has had to deal with this situation. but u DID break up with him... right?
no way, yous a snoop! BOOO! even if your boy is gay, you need to give him the space to let him figure that out and tell you on his own. violating his privacy and trust isn't going to make him feel more comfortable, and if he's fucking you, isn't that proof enough he likes pussy too?
