Bust In My Car In The Dark (Happy Ending)

I write stories as a hobby, so forgive me if this is long. I'll try to stick to the facts and not get too detailed. I have to lie at a certain point during this story, but it's because I did something ELSE illegal during this time and it would be really stupid for me to admit it and risk my freedom.

I had just gotten off work and went to pick up a friend of mine and his piece of ass. I went to my usual dealer and went inside. Dude had a couple of plants in his closet growing under a desk light... in retrospect, guy had no clue what he was doing but he was pretty sure he was the shit because he had three plants coming. First day he showed me the plants I told him that he had no business showing them to me. I mean, I'd only bought from him like four times before that and by my measure, at least, I shouldn't have been in the "trusted friends" circle.

My concern wasn't so much for myself but the fact that if he'd shown me the plants then chances are he was showing EVERYONE he was dealing to. He was cool, though, despite his idiocy and always had home-cooking at the apartment and let me borrow his swim trunks so we could all go swimming after we smoked. He pulls out this MONSTER gas mask and I'll be damned if I wasn't blazed off my ass a few minutes later. He had managed to get his hands on some White Widow and before that the best I'd tried was nugget, which was good but if you've done white widow before... damn. Anyway, we go swimming, I buy a half-ounce for 40 bucks (you see why I'm going there, yeah?)... I head off to see my friends, my mind completely fucked on that widow.

My friend was a pussy so he had bought a bunch of woodchuck and put it in his gym bag. We got in my car and him and his bitch started complaining that we couldn't go to either of their houses to smoke and pushing me to just find a place to sit, roll one and light up. So I pull down a random road that's surrounded by plenty of wood. It's getting dark and while I pull up I see a bright light shining from what looks like a house down the street. I don't pay it any mind and take the next turn. I come to a dead end where a construction company sits and pull into a big gully in the woods.

I whip out the weed and start to roll, right about then I hear "WHOOP!" and blue lights start flashing from the street behind us. So I cut the lights like a stoned idiot ('cause I was) and pray they don't know where we're at. They of course pull up right behind me and I hear my friend go "Hide that shit dude!" I'm at a loss so I grab the big bag of weed and hand it to his girl, who happens to have a huge rack. She stuffs it down her bra and we wait for the inevitable.

Fast-forward, I'm standing at the back of the car with three cops looking me up and down. I'm in my work shirt (collar and tie) that's untucked with my hair spiked up with gel - I look like a damn coke-head partier... They shine the flashlight in my eyes and the conversation goes like this between me and the highest ranking officer:

Officer: What are you three doing here, son?
Me: Just sitting, talking... this place is nice and quiet.
Officer: Your eyes are bloodshot, have you been drinking?
Me: I went swimming earlier.
Officer: Honestly, son, most people we find out here are either drinking, doing drugs or having sex. I was shining my light at you from the corner of the street so you'd know we were there; you shouldn't be here, it's private property -- do you have any drugs in the car?
Me, with eyes locked dead onto his: No.
Officer, believing me: Any alcohol?
Me, turning to look back at the car: You can ask my friend, I think he had some in a bag but I'm not sure.
Officers: Why'd you look back at the car, son? You gave me a solid 'No' about the drugs but you don't know if you have alcohol in your own car?
Me: You can ask him, I really don't know if he brought it.

They go talk to him and bring him out with the beer. They set it down and look through his bag. His "girlfriend" was 17 and I was 20, but neither of us had drunk anything, so I wasn't worried about it...

Officer: Can we search your car?
Me: Do you have reasonable cause?

They all look at each other and here is where everything falls apart. An officer starts walking around the car with his flashlight and suddenly he stops and calls his commanding officer over. He walks over and they both point and then open my door; I freeze as I see him reach over to my middle console and pick up the joint I had been rolling... In all the scramble of hiding the half ounce, I completely forgot to hide the joint!

I'm like, Fuuuuuuuuuuuck.

They come back and tell me I have two options: I tell them if I have any more drugs and they give me a ticket, or they bring out the dog and let it sniff us and the car to see if there is any more, and if they find any, we all three go to jail.

I yell for his girl to get out of the car, but she doesn't listen. So I scream through the window for her to get the fuck out of the car! Everyone jumps (I have a good set of lungs) and she comes running out. I say, "Give it to them." and she pulls her shirt off and gives them the weed.

They weigh it, ask me why I lied and if I have any further information they can use. I tell them I lied because I didn't want to get caught and that I'm not about to rat out the dealer even if he was an idiot about his stuff, so I tell him I can't do that. He nods, and brings me back with the others.

The commanding officer lines us up behind the car and says, "Look, I'll tell you what I tell all the kids I catch like this: Do it at home, keep it at home."

They give me a $524 dollar misdemeanor and we head out.

I go to the trial hearing, admit guilt and they offer me Pre-Trial Intervention (P.T.I.), which I readily accepted because otherwise I'd lose my license for six months and have to pay the full fine which turned out to be the damn minimum. They were all very polite and said they thought I seemed the type to try and make things right, but that they had never had anyone to complete the P.T.I. before.

So, I show up at the first meeting for PTI and I sit down with a group of people ranging from the obviously hardcore addicts to college kids like myself. I listen to the drivel and dumb it down so I don't have to think too hard about it: I have six months to do 45 hours of community service and go to 8 Narcotics Anonymous meetings. Half the class had to take the piss test at the beginning and the other half has to take it at some point from now until the last meeting. They would send us mail for when our next meeting was.

I leave and like my slacker self, don't touch the paperwork for a month. After that point I find out from this seething bitch from work that the drug dealer got busted the same fucking night I got busted and he thinks I'm the one that ratted him because they moved in not an hour after I left. So she tells me he's probably going to kill me as soon as he gets out of jail.

Well, isn't that some fucking bullshit? I guess I should have ratted the fucker out, at least I'd have gotten protection for it. The cops told me they couldn't do anything until he actually threatens me and this bitch spent the rest of my time at that job giving me hell and trying to convince me that I did it.

I'm pretty sure she did it herself and was just trying to put me up as a scapegoat, but I guess I'll never know. Some more shit happened with that but it's not terribly important to the story.

Alright, I know this story is damned fucking long but I think anyone that's in trouble will appreciate it. After this I'm going to have to lie a little at one part. I'm not going to say where so please don't ask...

After another month of non-stop smoking I decide to give myself a bit of sober time so I can think about what I'm going to do. I sober up and pull out my paperwork to put a plan together. There's a gym down the road from my work that's listed as a possible location for community service, so I show up there and tell them why I'm there. They say alright, take me upstairs and I spend the next month cleaning gym seats with a cloth every day I can. Not bad because whenever I was done they'd let me work out and watch TV. Lots of hot girls to creep out by staring at their asses too long. It was decent.

Okay, one thing down, now I have to go face the music of an NA meeting. Turns out it wasn't bad. I didn't have to use my real name nor did I have to actively participate. I'd go to the meeting, sit, introduce myself, and listen to stories of how drugs had destroyed people's lives, go home and light up.

Did that for eight weeks and I was home free. Kept smoking through it all.

I sobered up towards the last month and did my best to avoid anyone that smoked. I had just started at 19 so it wasn't difficult, I didn't know many people that smoked and the ones I did know began to stop because they'd listen to my story and get scared. It was funny to me, really, I hadn't lost anything over it but a few friends I realized I couldn't trust and other than being nervous about the drug test that never came, eh, I was fine.

What was strange is I never got a bit of mail from PTI short of the letters telling me to come in for my first interview and my letter to come in to complete it six months later... They had given the impression that I was going to be receiving a meeting notice every single month.

I hadn't really stopped smoking, I was just doing it every weekend in the privacy of a trusted friend's house. I left what green he got for me there and went to work or school or whatever - no risks. I'd had a lot of good times there, doing shrooms and coke for the first time (before the bust), so it was a sort of safe-haven for me. I began to slow down to once every other week as the last month approached and had actually managed to stay completely sober for a month but then smoked real heavy one weekend while on a trip to N.C. It's my luck I got a letter saying that three weeks later I was going to have my final meeting!

So I'm going, "What? No drug test?" I had been researching cleansing and over-hydrating and exercising and all that stuff in preparation but they had never tested me. Cool, so I smoke up once more a week before my final day and put everything into a nice manila folder. I take my paperwork, make copies of it and keep the originals. I take it in and hand my "counselor" (whom I'd never met until that day) the paperwork. She barely glances at it, nods at me, stamps an approval thing on it and sticks it in a folder. Then she says now if I'll just go pee in a cup at a designated location down the road I will be the first in the county to complete the PTI.

My heart leaps out of my chest, but I stand, shake her hand and walk out the door. She told me that I had one hour to go get my test so I shouldn't waste any time. Alright, well I'm fucked... I didn't have time to properly hydrate, I'd smoked just a week before... TOTALLY FUCKED!

I consider, for a moment, just going home and waiting for the inevitable but instead I show up, piss in a cup, make sure to give it the weakest sample I can by peeing in the toilet, giving it the middle part of my stream and then finishing in the toilet.

I hand them the cup and leave, figuring I'll get my subpoena a couple weeks later.

I'll be damned if I didn't pass it, though and I got my paperwork informing me that my record had been completely expunged of all charges.

I'm no biologist, but from what I do know, THC stores itself in your fat cells... So the fatter you are the more likely it is that you will fail the test if you have been smoking heavily. I was 40 pounds over weight at the time, so it's pretty safe to say that the less you smoke the less THC you will have in your pee. I'd figure a few joints over a weekend should be out of your system by the following week as long as that's all you've had for a while.

 

I thought this part was funny

 

Did u pass?

 

Yep, no record

 

Why'd you tell the cop you had beer in the car?

 

That's what I was wondering.

And I bet he got some clean piss from a friend. It's okay, we know the tricks

 

Lol. You should have just said no when the cop asked about the beer

 

That was very poorly written.

 

white widow was the best part
haha jk
nice story cant believe you passed the test