I'm so sorry if this ends up a long post but will try to be brief but still give the picture I first became involved with this woman (S) about a year ago, my first time with a woman. The relationship has been on and off due to various bust-ups, caused by me, such as feeling pressured by S to come out, by her wanting to be involved in all aspects of my life, her phoning me at all times (even when I'm at work)wanting to talk about her problems or just chat and getting pissed off when I said I was busy. When I've been out with friends she texts me lots and wants to know when I'm home (we live about 2 hours apart). If I've gone to stay with her when it's time to go she tries to get me to stay later, gets upset when I wont/cant and I get pissed off then too. If I've got other stuff to do she wants to come with me and pushes me to give a good reason why not and then takes apart my reason saying it's just silly and why cant she come with me and then I am annoyed that I have to justify why not. Surely some of the time I can just go and do stuff by myself.
sounds like a jealous overprotective clingy gf... tell her you need space and if she wont give it to you u gotta do whats best for you
Sorry, not enough room to carry on above. Anyway last week major problem, she (again) called me at work, I was under pressure to get work finished that day, S accused me of not being interested, I got mad and hung up. She called back several times until(I'm not proud of this) I told her to F off. Next day she phoned on my work line while I was in a meeting - not helpful to me at work - asked to come and see me at home. I said no as I was very tired and needed to get course work done at home. She turned up, I was pi**ed off and told her we were finished. Huge fight and she refused to leave. Now I am getting so much crap to fix this, am told it's my fault for handing it badly and am being told she is in such a bad state but loves me and needs me to fix it. Numerous horrible things have been said by both of us but while I dont want to hurt her further I also dont want to be in a relationship with her. I cannot cope any further with the huge lows but she is saying if I could communicate properly they wouldn't happen. Now maybe its a complete fault in me but along with the other crap I am really bother by the stuff she said to me and dont feel comfortable being involved with her again. I'm no angel and said very hurtful things to her too but she feels she can get past that. Oh my head is a mess with her constantly telling me I must fix it.
well, sounds like shes just alot work for no return... how do you feel about her, is she a caring person, does she meet your needs emotionaly and phisicly?
Emotionally no - but maybe thats my problem not hers. I am very independent in that if I have a problem (excluding her) I like to think about it and sort through it myself. I find that if I tell her then what she wants to do is either take it apart and tell me why I'm wrong and that its not actually a problem and it gets dismissed or she just wants to solve it. Also I dont feel able to talk to her if I have aproblem with her for the same reasons and it builds up inside me. S is very needy too.....she wants me to constantly reassure her that I love her or need her and while I feel that I have shown her how much i care about her she always wants me to put it into words and thats not my way. It doesnt mean i haven't done it, just not as much as she needs because it feels awkward and false to me
well, you need to tell her that. you might have already, but what you realy gota do is sit her down with you and tell her its your turn to talk, and tell her exactly what you want to, and tell her that sometimes, you just want to think with your self, and figure out what your own problems are. if she can accept this, then it can work, but if not, you may just have to find some one else, because even if you love her, it might just be to much work, its always nice to have some one to hold and snuggle, and the needing to be reminded thing is always a pain. when you have her sat down, tell her you love her with all your being (if its true) and tell her shes too needy and that she should know you love her, and she needs to understand that, and this is just what kind of person you are. -huggles- i hope im helping
It sounds to me that things would only get worse. You two seem to be at such opposite ends of the personality spectrum that , if Ya'll stay together , you might just end up hating her more for wanting to hang on so tightly to you. Maybe ya'll would make better friends than lovers ?
