I know I may come across as a crazy person in this post, but I really am not. Until yesterday, I was just an ordinary wife and part-time college student. My googling has brought me to this forum, I really don't know where else to go. I'll try my best to explain what happened, please forgive the length of it. I had an epiphany yesterday afternoon while driving in my car, listening to music. I experienced a feeling I cannot recall ever having before. I have experienced moments of insight before, but those was nothing compared to this. This feeling was transcendent, I don't know what other way to best describe it. It was a true spiritual experience for me. For a moment I felt free of material things. I could see another way, if I just went through this doorway, or around this corner that I was previously unaware of, everything would be so easily achievable and balanced, everything would be perfect. This was a fleeting moment, it only lasted a couple of seconds, but its impact on me was profound. I know that this is what enlightenment must be. Since experiencing this feeling, I have been left with a longing to return back to that perfect state of consciousness. In this brief moment I had such a feeling of clarity, lightness, and insight. It was like waking up from a coma. For the first time I could see that my life, my day-to-day pursuits were trivial, for lack of a better word. This is a little difficult to explain, I don’t meant to say that my life is insignificant, but just that my day-to-day problems were weighing heavily on me, as was my greed, and my daily pursuits. They were not moving me forward, but instead, were leaving me stagnant. I was completely unaware of all of this until this afternoon. For this brief moment in time I was completely free of all of these burdens. Suddenly, the weight problem that I had been dealing with most of my adult life seemed so easy to resolve, really such a trivial problem. It felt as if it were a problem that even a small child could solve. In that moment, it was as if all things were possible. I also got the since that before I had been living in a fog. It was as if I was moving around in wet cement, and totally oblivious to it. In my moment of clarity I was able to rise above the cement that had been weighing me down, I was so light, it was as if I were floating. I was now able to see all the possibilities, I saw there was another way, another path that before I was completely ignorant of. When I got home I googled to see if anyone else had ever experienced such brief glimpses of enlightenment and what it felt like for them. But as I was doing this I had the feeling that this was something I had to figure out inside myself, and not something where I needed to read about someone else’s experience and make a judgment based on it. It was not something that needed to be compared and contrasted. Needless to say, I ended up googling it anyway, which is just something in my nature to do. This feeling only lasted a brief moment, and as I move further and further away from that moment I find myself forgetting how it felt. I got a small glimpse of something so profound, and I want so badly to return to it. I know I am back to muddling through the wet cement again, it incases me. Before, I could have gone about my life never knowing any better, but I don’t want to do that now. Not now that I have had a glimpse at something that is so much more. The more that I forget, the closer I see myself drifting back into my old complacency. I wrote all of this down in a desperate attempt to remember what I had felt, and what I had learned. I want so much to get back to that state of being, it felt so complete and perfect. I know it may be a pipe dream to ask this, but does anyone know how to get back to such a state? Or at least the path to take to get their again?
Funny you should ask... I've been researching this for the past 8 or 9 months myself. I have made some progress already and have things lining up to make even more in the coming months. You've already shown yourself where you need to go and have the knowing that it is there and is attainable. There are many paths. Unfortunately, we usually have obstacles that we have placed in our way and must overcome these. Most methods suggest meditation as the fundamental practice that should be maintained throughout the process. There are many good meditation guides free on line. Next, most agree that you should have a personal spiritual guide. They also say that the guru will come when you are ready. Most of the sites that explain how to meditate have meditations you can use to find your guide spiritually or through meditation rather than on the physical plane. Another alternative is to search for a spiritual guide on the material plane by going to a center or temple where meditation or spiritual matters are being taught and practiced (Buddhist temple, Zen center, Rocky Mountain Mystery school, etc.). Lately, my internet wanderings have brought me to a place that people rave about. It is the Energeticforum.com. There you can start to find out about Matrix Energetics, Theta Healing, Chinese Energetic Medicine, Rapid Data Transfer (PATHS), Technical Remote Viewing, and other methods of overcoming our programming that keeps us unaware of our true nature. It sounds like you are relatively young so you should be able to make progress pretty fast. As it turns out, we control what happens in our life. What we ask for or expect with our thoughts is what we create for ourselves. You will find that the more desire you have for what you are seeking, the more the Universe or All-That-Is wants you to have it. Just keep looking and refining what it is that you desire and it will be given to you. Whatever you do, don't make the same mistake I did. I found out about and had a pretty good grasp of how everything is (seeing beyond the illusion of the material world) when I was young, but made the conscious decision to put that knowledge aside instead of acting on it with my full intention. It is a good thirty years later that I am just finally starting to put that knowledge to use. So, I pretty much wasted thirty years of a perfectly good life. If you want to talk about it some more, please post again or send a private message. You are definitely not crazy but actually have finally gotten beyond the craziness into the real realm of sanity and true joy/bliss. Seek and ye shall find, sayeth the Lord. So also says Plebe! Happy trails!
More info on your religious background and beliefs would help us help you. Some of us have a lot to unlearn before we can go in a positive spiritual direction. Others have less.
I believe I have some understanding. I can count on two hands the number of times I have seen clearly, mindfully. Most have lasted seconds, only once was it minutes (wonderful). I don't know what you should do. I also believe meditation is a great preparer of the mind. I think you are correct about finally doing it yourself. Overtime, I looked for more to help me refocus. It may be a hindrance to you (and me), so do what is right for yourself. If you can't find enlightenment here and now, where will you? Two sources I use: "After the Ecstasy, the Laundry" by Jack Kornfield. A big name in modern "Spiritual Path". Either the book or CDs. You can research this work, but, the title says a lot. "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle. He also has a number of YouTube videos. He appears to always be in a state of insight. I constantly doubt my experiences and I find myself doubting his sometimes. But that is my nature, and he is still an inspiration. There is so much stuff out there. You might also Google Zen and your area to see if any groups are meeting around you. I have loved this path I'm on. If you think I can be of any help, please ask. But again, as you said, you have to do it for yourself.
TM is pretty easy. But it costs some money, but who cares considering the quickly passing nature of time. TM doesn't depend on belief. My experience was that it's a solid meditation technique. From there you might find answers. Or follow the path of Buddhism which may take quite some time. My experience is that mere sitting meditation is not so very enriching as TM. But those here who haven't done TM will lump all meditation techniques into the same basket. Let me explain though that it was solid experiences of transcendence from when I was young that propelled me into the search for reclaiming that experience. For me, I felt like I was being held on the breast of the divine mother of all. I searched long and hard to find the cult which replicated such a feeling. I have found it, in Buddhism of the Vajrayana school. That's about all I can really say.
"Floating, free as a bird, fifty foot leaps, it's so absurd, from up here you should see the view, Such a lot of space for me and you..." -Moody Blues Sounds more like a kenso or perhaps satori experience Ducky, in my opinion. Enlightenment is something else. You have had a first glimpse of Buddha nature. This intense experience is unsustainable while in the human form. It cannot be maintained indefinitely. You may reach this level again naturally or through the use of chemicals, physical exercises, meditation, etc,; but you will always return to your "natural" level of awareness. What you should do is work to increase your "natural" level of awareness and understanding. A human guru is not necessary. There are many yogas, techniques, and books that will help. Meditation is simply an exercise in being aware. This can be done by sitting, standing, or walking...the key is to be aware. Without going into this too much... Check out, Remember, Be Here Now, by Ram Dass or The Book: on the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are, by Alan Watts or Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, by Robert Pirsig
