does porn bother any women out there? how does porn NOT bother you? i really want to know because I'd love to be one of those girls that can accept it. but how am I NOT supposed to be bothered by my boyfirend looking at / lusting after / jacking off to? another women? i would understand if he didn't have a girlfriend, had a long-distance girlfriend, or a girlfriend that didn't want to have sex often, but in a situation like mine, where i'm a young at-least-somewhat-attractive female willing to have sex pretty much whenever, why would my boyfriend still look at porn? i have an A cup. my boyfriend says my breasts are "perfect" and "his type"... he "doesn't like big boobs"... well, all the porn he has is of big-boobed women... how am i not supposed to be offended by that? he gets mad at me for 'being insecure" but then he makes comments about my boobs or about other flaws like a pimple or not shaving for example... so how does he expect me NOT to be insecure? i don't understand why, if he's so satisfied with me and thinks i'm beautiful, he has to look at other women. am i being naive?
I don't think you're insecure because of his porn consumption. Either way, it doesn't matter. He's going to fantasize and masturbate thinking about other women. If it's not porn, it's someone he sees in the street. It's really not his fantasy about other women (which is completely normal; also for women to fantasize about other men) that is the problem. It sounds to me you guys have settled into co-dependent roles. And that's what makes you insecure. Fantasizing and being aware of other people's attractiveness is natural and probably essential for a healthy relationship. Why don't you fantasize about other men?
There are two misunderstandings here. Let's tackle yours first. This isn't about you. For better of for worse, this just plain not about you. He's not replacing or supplementing you or your "attentions." He's doing what comes naturally to practically ALL male animals. If you've ever been around cattle or dogs a great deal, you'd understand that this is a drive that WILL be satisfied one way or another. So in short, don't take it so personally. HOWEVER ... The second misunderstanding is HIS! He has mistaken being male for being a MAN. A MAN would have the self respect and self-control to limit his participation in this action which can SO EASILY become an addiction! ALL males masturbate. ALL males seek gratification through their genitals. ALL males seek sexual pleasure through their eyes. It is how we are wired. But the definition of MEN and males should not be confused. A MAN would not seek his own sexual gratification before his own self-respect and the respect of his woman. A MAN would not blur the line between animal desires and human cognition and ability to choose his own actions. A MAN would be more focused on pleasing his mate/spouse than self stimulation. What you have there is a male ... not a MAN.
Well, I'll be honest, my past boyfriends would ask me if it bothered them and I told them it didn't, cause well, I looked at porn, read erotica and such. It just depends on the girl. Some girls can just accept that looking at porn is just something that the general male population do, regardless of if they are single or in a loving relationship, and others get jealous about the attentions their mate focuses on other women besides them. Both can be natural responses. You should probably just talk to him about it and bring up your points about *why* you feel insecure instead of just telling him that it hurts that he does.
I think porn in general skews men's perceptions of the naked female body and what it *should* look like. I don't think it's healthy. But that's just my opinion. I feel fortunate in that my boyfriend makes an effort to stay away from that stuff.
I agree with hat 100%. I don't think the people in porn are attractive at all. They're plastic, no guy takes them seriously. That's why Pam Anderson get's beat, and Carmen Electra... Porn is something to get off on. It's about watching sex, not the people having sex... And I'm sure that's all it is for him. He loves you, just some guys need to do their own thing. Which should be totally okay...
I agree with this. If you they don't act real, they're not real, therefore there's no reason to stop or feel guilty, even when it's upsetting to their S/O's and others.
I remember being devastated the first time I discovered that my ex-husband looked at porn. But I was a young wife and had some unrealistic expectations. I think I understand a little better now ... it's just something men do, like watching sports. It doesn't mean he doesn't want you or that he wishes you were like the women in the porn. I wouldn't be worried about it unless it's excessive, or if he was into child porn or something.
I am fortunate that my wife understands and accepts my interest in porn for what it is; a harmless outlet for the normal male interest in promiscuity, which is hard-wired into our brains. It has nothing to do with her, or our relationship. Explaining this to a woman is like explaining color to someone who has been blind from birth. The blind man can never truly understand color, but he can accept the fact that color exists and that other people can see it. Most women do not experience a strong desire to have an endless variety of sexual partners, but surely you can understand that anyone who does live with that temptation has a legitimate need to channel it in a nondestructive direction. The bottom line: Porn is better for married guys than either of the alternatives, which are cheating and trying to live the lie that we think like women.
why not watch porn together with your man ? it can be fun believe me! First of all you must learn to feel beautiful without the appreciation of somebody else, without the need to hear it from somebody else and then you won`t be offended by porn. maybe you will even learn to like it. i myself love some specific porn`s and i have never ever felt bad coz my man watches porn( and he does). You must realize that no matter what amazing flawless woman a man has to his side he will always watch others, because that`s in his nature. because there are many beautiful woman out there that get mans attention.
Might help if you try work out the female version of that. If he is getting chatised for looking at other women, then an hour or two later pics up that you go extra gooey, or the pitch in your voice goes up around certain guys, you are just that little bit extra happy to meet a certain guy. Then by chastising him he is just going to think you are trying to have your cake and eat it too
you gotta be confident with yourself. I never care if a guy I'm with watches porn because he knows he can look at the menu but has to eat at home men tend to like these "fantasy" worlds and watching porn does that to them...just as girls like to think of their own "fantasy" worlds (i.e. the PERFECT man, the PERFECT marriage, the PERFECT life) they just have different fantasies about easy women getting fucked anywhere and at anytime. Keep your head up...it isn't worth dwelling over
porn personaly grosses me out to the extreme and if my man wants to look at fake girls than he can look but he cant come back to the real deal... and he understands that, and it works but i'm sure some girls can except it but i never have and never will and its not b.c im one bit insecure i just dont want my boyfriend to get excited over anything or ne one but me... theres my 2 cents
That's almost a contradiction in terms, and an impossibility whether he looks at porn or not. Don't you ever find other people sexually attractive?
