A quick question about hormones

Hi all,
First off i would like to say hi! and that im new to the forums, and iv been reading all of your posts and found most of them very informative and full of information!

So... where to start..... (a quick history of me) i am a 27y/o gay man, i have always felt the need to ... "wear girly things" but i have only done so for the past year and a half, being gay and having a boyfriend i was always SO scared to tell him about my desires, i mean hes attracted to men! why would he want a boyf who dresses like a girl?! anyways, in the end i couldnt take it anymore and i told him! and needless to say he was "a little freaked out" and we split up! but thankfully that time apart made him relize that he loves me too much and we got back together and he now fully accepts me for who and what i am! gotta love him for that!

So.. im not one for making BIG decissions! day to day stuff isnt a problem! but BIG life changing decissions.... i just cant decide! i see too many pro's and con's! but the more i keep dressing the more i want to be a girl! i dont feel like a girl all the time! except when i dress! but when i do... GOD! i would do ANYTHING!!! to become one physiclly! i might add that when i do dress up its NOT purely for sexual reasons! i do it mainly because it makes me feel better and more comfortable in myself! anyway! back on topic! for the last 6months or so iv been thinking hmm... maybe im a ... transexual! so iv been reading up a lot on the internet and the things iv read... people seem soo sure of who and what they are! iv read a couple posts on a few forums about people in simular possitions to what im in! their confused! not sure... but they never update their posts and i dont know how or whats happened or what they have figured out!
But on my travels around the internet i have heard a lot of people saying that a good way to find out if you are a TS/TG or whatever (too many lables!!! lol) or just a CD is to temporally take some female hormones! if its for you then youll know it!! but if its not.... then again you know it!! after reading here i see that there are a lot of girls that have taken them and gone further!
so i was wondering if that was true or not? and as you have actually taken them! and your not just reporting back hearsay and "this is what the doctors say happens" and "this is what the internet says...." what are actually the effects of taking them? what are the side effects that you have had?
one question i gotta ask is.. my penis? i like it! like most men do! how do you TS's feel or felt about yours? can you still be a TS and like your cock?
iv heard people say that if you take hormoes your penis will shrivil up!! lol im sure its not to the extent that their making out! but im guessing that yeah! it would make you penis shrink a bit! but also if i do end up taking hormones and i relize that its not for me, will my penis .... grow back to normal size? or is the damage done?
sorry if these seem like silly questions! their questions and thoughts i have that i dont have anyone to ask about! im the only transcrosswhatever i know!

anyways... thanks for reading and if you have anything to say i would be more than greatfull to read it!

 

It would take a few months before damage started to your penis, but once it's done it done for good and you could go sterile. Hormones are not something fuck around with, no doctor, therapist, or any transsexual would ever endorse taking hormones for a few months just to see if you like it or not. For one thing it's not an immediate thing, both mentally and physically hormones take a while to start showing effects. And keep in mind taking hormones will literally begin to make you into a woman, inside and out, even though generally you'd be the same person, your brain and thought proccesses would begin to become more womanly. Not to mention once they start kicking in, going from testhonerome to estrogen generally sends most people on a couple of months of an emotional estrogen roller coaster ride before it levels out.

Plus the fact, if you are gay I'm assuming your mate is also gay, but unless he's bi you might have a problem, taking hormones to become a different gender you need to realize what that gender means, if you start having some hips and breasts, generally that's what attracts men, but for a gay man I don't think he's going to find it all that sexy. The real question is what do you see as the pros and the cons?

As for penises, some have the surgery, some don't, some fear if they botch it they'll lose any feeling, while others are just wary and freaked out by surgery in delicate areas, it's not a simple one to do/recover from but after years of hormones your penis is basically useless except as a way to pee. It's generally just the need to be a woman, to feel like a woman in society and to be viewed as one by it.

 

hi madcap thanks for your reply

Ah! i didnt know too much about the hormones that part was somthing i read on a forum somewhere. ofcourse i WOULDNT dare do anything without talking to a professional! thats the problem when looking stuff up on the internet! so many people say they've done this! or try that! and when looking up Transexual stuff on the internet you cant help but find a hundred websites trying to selling you feminizing hormones! iv read so many threads where gals say that they have taken hormoes and its totally changed them! and iv read others where they say it didnt do a single thing! so im a little unsure about them in that respect! as for the effects on my penis that was just sheer curiosity!

yeah my Boyf is gay! when i told him he was quite shocked and freaked out and whatnot! but he got over it! and hes fine with it all now! i own a very nice pair of breast forms! and i dress fully as a girl when im at home! and it doesnt phase him in the least! if i saw to become a girl he would be fine with it! he just would NEVER admit to being anything over than gay! at the very least he would say that hes a gay man who sleeps with girls! hes very strange that way! lol
as for the pro's
i would love to be a girl!
i feel more ... myself and more comfortable when im all dress up!
iv been told im more like a girl than a guy in just the little things i do!
just the whole experiance of having to do it in a natural way! and not having to wear all the "body mod" bits like breast forms
and... umm... boobs! who wouldnt want a pair?
the list could go on.... im sure you know all the pro's im on about!

as for the con's
im 6'2" very broad shouldered huge muscular legs! and at 27 im nearly bold! lol im buit like a man!
i would make a butt ugly woman!
the BF may be ok with me dressing up! but when it comes down to it......
family and friends! if my friends didnt accept it, then to hell with them! but im in such a close knit familly... they only JUST accept that im gay! if i was to tell them that i want/going to become a woman they would... i dunno! but they wouldnt be happy!

i dunno! i just feel more confused these days than anything else! somedays im happy with who i am, and other days i could kill to be somthing else!

you ever feel like that?

 

I would say if you have any doubts at all, then dont do it.

Before i started hormones, the last thing i was thinking about was losing sexual function, or that id become sterile. Those things didnt matter to me. I just wanted a body which somewhat resembled what i know i should have always had from birth. I do think there is a difference between "wanting" to be a girl, and always feeling inside that is what you are. I always wished, and still do, that i was born a normal girl. But i've always felt female inside. It's what ive always identified as. Indeed, i don't even identify as a transsexual. Female, and other terms meaning that, are the only labels i have ever seen myself as, and the only terms i'll ever accept for myself.

To me, im perplexed as to why any woman would want to have a penis on her body. (And be happy to have that) It makes no sense to me. Im not saying it's wrong, i just dont understand it. Ive never had any kind of intimate/sexual activity with anyone. To me, losing sexual function or becoming sterile are things i dont care about. The idea of anyone getting close to me while i still have this horrible thing between my legs repulses me anyway. And the idea of fathering a child just seems completely alien to me, and id never want to do that. I cant give birth as a woman, but id rather remain childless than do something that feels so inherently unnatural to me. Then again, you're gay, so i dont imagine you'd care too much that you cant father a child naturally.

I do think that people who have always felt that their gender at birth was wrongly assigned, are not suffering with the same thing as people in your situation. I am wrongly labelled with "gender dysphoria", even though i've never been confused about my gender. I think the two things are seperate, and should be treated as such. (Which currently they are not)

I think if you have any worries about your thingy shrivelling up, etc, then i would strongly recommend against taking hormones. You say some days you're happy with you are, ive never been happy with who i am, and indeed, im still not. It's hard for me to advise what to do, as your situation is very different to mine. But i would advise anyone with even the slightest doubts about taking hormones, against taking them. Then again, some are quite happy being "chicks with dicks", so what do i know?

 

Well in terms of pros and cons I think you should get a little more specific with yourself, like a good long list for both sides. Like for having boobs, I mean yea all men would love to have a set of boobs for the day to play around with, like I don't think any guy of any orientation or whatever would deny that. But it's not a question of who wouldn't want a pair, you have to look at it this way, they wouldn't be something you could take off. They'd always be there, like on your stomach, they're there, go running, they're there bouncing, all day every day they're there hanging off your chest, just another part of your body.

Or like muscles, you say you have muscular legs so I'm guessing you at least like to work out a bit? Would you mind losing your muscles? Even if you worked out twice as much you just wouldn't be able to keep it, the estrogen would kill off your muscles and give you a soft layer of fat around your body.

 

You have to be honest to be happy!!!

Btw I absolutely HATE my penis always have. I pray to GOD that i can be born female in the next life (big boobs in the next life would be nice too )