I'm having a problem being around gays

I'm gay but I recently having a problem being aroud gay guys esp. girly guy(I do have straight friends who's girly but don't have any problem as long as I know they're straight). I'm really nervous everytime I saw them around. this situation started a while ago and getting worst at the moment.

This morning I went to the bank and there's this guy came up to me and ask me if I need help, I talk to him but didn't look at him. I knew that I'm getting nervous because I was shaking and sweating as I wrote the check. I keep telling myself that's everything's fine and I have to be myself but I couldn't(I do want to be myself). the situaltion like this really stressed me out and it's getting worst everyday.

So please anyone, tell me what I should do...

If you want more information, just ask, I'll post later on this forum.

P.S. I do accept the different personalities between people.

 

Its not really clear what you mean.

What kind of nervous do you mean? Nervous because you start to think naughty thoughts in the presence of effeminate gay guys, or Nervous because you think you are going to be publically outed by these guys.

Roughly how old you are too would help.

In other words, more info please

 

I'm 23 years old. outed to my family and only some friends. I'm not nervous because I'm attracted to one of these guys but going to be outed publically is one of the reason too. but I don't know, if it is the only the reason that made me shake a little or just because I don't know how to act/think around these guys are the reason as well.

 

Sounds kind of normal.

Just cos you are gay doesnt mean you are going to like every gay guy, doesnt mean there arent some gay guys you are not going to be comfortable around, or some that just down right creep you out. Fem guys can make some uncomfortable. Some Bears can scare the crap out of some fem guys in much the same way a big straight guy scares the crap out of smaller straight girls

And ranking rules still apply, you can be nervous cos you dont want to lead certain guys on.

Or it can just be about parts of him, he might have a tight little stomach and small hips that get your blood flowing, but the head is a bit too try hard trendy or he has little girly arms.

And don't assume its a one way street, you may be getting nervous cos he is objectifying you, eyeing you up and down, or giving you the eye, if you are a guy thats into macho men and he's really really girly. Then its the same type of thing as getting nervous around some of the girls that keep eyeing you up and down or giving you the eye. Getting nervous cos you dont want to lead either cateory on

 

I get the creeps from a couple of gay guys myself, not going to lie. But that's just like how anyone can.

Feminine gay guys are more comfortable in their own skin I feel, so since you are not out entirely maybe it's something to do with that. The fear of being 'outed', or if you like this person, the fear they know you do.

Maybe you see them as superior? As stereotypes go, they are the definitive gay man. We all know in our heart of hearts this is not true, but your sub-conscience may have had you feel somewhat intimidated.

 

I am a gay male who has never been able to hang around overly masculine or straight guys.

 

It sounds like you see these overt, some might say flamboyant gay guys, and you feel like the fact that you're not like that denotes a lack of confidence. Either that or you're worried that they'll know you're gay and make an issue of it.

Best I can tell you is that you don't need to be like them to have confidence. I won't lie to you: gay guys will notice the shrieking, shouting, floating around gay guys more. But it's no great loss really.

 

Do not be afraid to hang out with gay guys we wont bite you at least not were people can see the bite marks ...lol J/K

 

It takes both continous level of growth and a degree of maturity to learn how to shrug with your shoulders and let the people act in that way they choose to act.

I do not find flamboyant and girly guys to be attractive. They do not do anything for me. But I have absolutely no problem in communicating with them. I would not seek their company, simply because I'd rather spend my time with people whom I find attractive.

Start by shrugging with your shoulders and saying to yourself, "whatever, they are who they are and that's fine. I live my life and they live theirs." Good for them...

KD