Most of you seem like reasonable persons so here I go. Reffering to the title - I am a loner. Sometimes happy, sometimes sad. So to explain the situation I'll give an example. I'm at school - looking at those "cool" all chatty and full of laughter people. Although I know they're nothing special right from the beginning but sometimes I get this urge to be "cool" too like them, talk to them. But the real paradox in this situation is that when I actually get to do that (seldom) I just wonder when can I get out. I literally feel the pointlessness surrounding them which makes me so frustrated while talking that the so called chat I'm having will stay short and superficial. I want them but then I reject them at all costs. And when the pointless, meaningless conversation is finally over I actually feel better. Like Jesus who got nailed to a cross but then resurrected. Why? I ask myself. But there's just no answer - this process keeps repeating itself. Feeling very very sad, getting nailed to a cross, resurrection. I have thought of suicide a lot and twice gotten to a point of no return but I've been able to sleep it off. This may sound like a default teenage problem but people say I'm way ahead of my age. I can pick up a conversation with 10 years older people than me and argument them to death. So what I really want to know is what are your diagnoses as a stranger, looking from your angle. Is there anyone else out there like me? My native tongue is not english so give me a break.
are you an only child? I dealt with the same things you are describing, you find it pointless to talk about random bullshit, rather have an in depth conversation with like minded people. You are not alone. Dont belittle yourself because of it, just put yourself around people who are like yourself. I grew up too fast myself, at 21 I was a manager of a country club/golf course grounds supervising people my own age and older, yet I felt older than them. Now I kinda regret all that at 25, IM not a very social person either, but would rather just chill with people in a quiet environment. Dont consider suicide, you're unique, just find the right people to be around and everything else will fall into place peace
Socializing is an important and enjoyable part of life, but you should never feel obliged to converse about things you don't really give a shit about. You instinctively desire to be part of the pack, so you seek them out and speak with them, but once you're in the conversation it's probably a mixture of disinterest and social discomfort that makes you want to get back out. Give it time. You will grow and learn who you are, and you will meet people you vibe better with. Also keep in mind that solitude, too, is important, especially to men. Let go of your thoughts of suicide. Death is inevitable, therefore everything is ultimately futile. Enjoy the ride while you're on it, you'll find death soon enough.
im also a loner =] but sometimes i like to be by myself.. at school i used to wonder why i wasnt the popular girl, why couldnt i have friends like that, but then i realised that the few friends i did have (literally about 3), they were the best people ever. we'd have our little jokes and stuff, but we never stabbed each other in the back like the popular girls did im not good with small talk... if you came up to me in a bar (it woulda taken so much effort to get me there in the first place) and tried to make small talk.. id run away. deep convos with like minded people are much more my thing maybe you see other peoples lives/social lives as perfect, and you want a piece of their perfect? i think you need to learn to accept that you are who you are, and youll have good days & bad days.. and the suicide thing. not good, ive been there, its the worst feeling ever.
+++1 - yes this is a good book You sound like me when I was at school... just know this: you are not alone in the world - there are others out there who will understand you and be capable of offering what you need in friendship, but just like you they are going to be uncertain/uninterested in the usual social bullsh*t and will most likely keep themselves to themselves too - but if you search them out they will more than likely be as happy as you to meet someone who gets them in such a deep way. The sycophants and socialites may go through their entire lives never knowing the depths of friendship you are able to experience; you have a gift. The world needs more people like you, and you should be proud because you are ahead of the curve. Take care! x
I gave a very short description of my problem and you just read me like a book. Bravo! Best advice ever by intelligent and understanding people. Will definately check out that book.
Loner right here. Back in high school i would be pissed off at the fact that i didn't have the necessary social skills to hang out with the cool peeps. On my senior year i was "meh, who gives a fuck about friends anymore". im still am the same way...fuck people. why you ask? becuase they are a bunch of morons who can't stand hanging out with each other without having to talk all the time. i mean, why the fuck must one be all talkative to have friends. meh, but i dont care....you just get used to being alone...and its fucking great
oh man! we seem to be in the exact same situation. i feel you. :/ nothing has really worked for me so far, so there's not much advice i can give you.
divert your energies to something else. that's a start. just don't sit there thinking about how shitty 'they' are. you can be a lone wolf in a healthy way. who says you can't?
just stick it out, school is nothing in the gran scale of things, death is the easy way out, you cant learn from lifes experances after that, the problem is there is nothing wrong, difrent groups at school have the own things no point being a poser in a grounp if your not digging it get out, find a group of ppl who indluge them selves in the same stuff you like doing like find a sport or hobbie just stuff like that you no, every one goes through stuff like that in there lives but its the way we deal with them that defines us, peace brother im sure you will find you feet
YES, exactly. I've figured that out myself. I'm concentrating my potential on things that might have a positive outcome. Although I've picked up some self-destructive behaviours already which is really common in my country. Men literally drink themselves to death here.
There are tons of people like you, young people especially. Stop hanging around the people who ain't like us, and start going towards the people who think they're screwed up in the head. There you will find people just like you. Anyone who has suffered a lot in life is probably going to understand what you just said and has thought about it just like you. Take me for example.
I am friends with all the "cool" people at my school. I have found they are the same as any other group of people. You should have no desire to talk to the "cool" people if they do not interest you. Yeah, it may seem fun to be noticed at school and popularity and all that crap, but once you have that, you'll find something else to eat away at your head - at least that's how it has been with me. I do have very good friends though - it is all a matter of whether or not you are compatible with the people you hang around
