A rare and unusual problem...

Long story short, I have severe scarring around my anal area back from my highschool years when I didnt care for my body because I thought I was going to end my life before or after graduation. I have accepted that I am gay and I'm happy now.

I'm not out of the closet yet but when I am in the next 1-2 years when I move out how am I going to deal with guys I'm attracted to? Let's say a guy I'm attracted to wants to get to know me more and eventually get intimate with.

The problem is when it comes to getting intimate. First of all I'm a bottom, I'm sure no guy wants to see a scarred bottom. So what do I do? I feel like if I put in the time to get to know someone I like and eventually get intimate with them, won't I be misleading them because what happens right before we have sex? "Sorry we can only kiss and suck because I have severe scarring in the area you'll be inserting your dick into".

What the fuck am I supposed to do? Just give up on going up to guys I'm attracted to that I want to get intimate with because it I would be misleading them? and avoid any guy that has interest in me and wants to get to know me better either on a date or what

I've been thinking about this a lot lately and I ask myself is it worth it? why don't I just end my life now. Who the fuck wants to get intimate with a scarred up bottom? Can you live without love?

 

I think that if somebody truly loves you for who you are, they won't care at all...

you can have love if that's what you want, you just have to be open to taking a few risks to find it.

above all, you HAVE to love YOU first, you have to accept who you are scars and all...wear them with pride, don't call them scars...call them war wounds, you survived a battle

im stoned and a little ranty, but i hope you get my point

 

I wonder for you bottoms out there, could you live without anal? I'm sure there's the few rare tops that woudn't care for my scarring but I have a feeling that it's pretty rare. I feel like it's going to be such a hassle.

 

i donno mary...easy to say but i dont think ill ever accept what ive done to my skin down there...ive ruined it and theres not way to recover from it.

for you guys out there reading this. imagine you were in my position and think back to every intimate encounter you've had with a guy. would he have up and left you after you told him or after he saw? would you even have gotten intimate with them at all knowing your bottom is in that condition?

 

Why the focus on anal? plenty of guys out there that arent really into that

I dont know how bad the scaring is, but I'd imagine most wouldn't really care, I mean its not like your actually looking at it most of the time when they are doing it.

2010, it does sound like its something thats going to stress you out more than those you try get intimate with. There's no easy answer except face your fear, if you get rejected it's going to be a bitch, but then move on to the next, do this a couple dozen times, strike out 9 times hit once and that will later on help you work out which type of guy is more likely not to care about the scars. Rejection is something gay guys do tend to get more used to quicker than everyone else, you may find you are in the long run better off for it

 

well, heres something i've never said to anyone but my partner yet i'll say it to a few million potential readers here: i have anal warts-from my early '20's till now-off and on-and truthfully they've never been as bad as recently (last 2 years)-granted, they're not visible-so i'm still able to do nude rec and business (my partner and i do clothing optional house cleaning) and get complimented on my nice ass-blush-but even he's hesitant at times to fuck me-more out of fear of hurting me than disgust-but since he truly loves me he does that and much more anytime the spirit strikes him-so will anyone who loves you-an they're the only one whos matter

 

@van hmm not sure...guess i've always thought it was the main thing..? the actual area is baby smooth, just discolored(too much info?) i guess im overthnking maybe, i do like to make out and give/recieve a nice bj and cuddle n junk

@andy glad you found someone like that, gives me hope for the future =)

it just sucks though...getting intimate with others is going to suck and there WILL be rejection as vanilla said, something that most guys don't have to deal with but i feel a little better after reading your guys post, ty =/

 

Presuming you will be looking for intimacy, and not a one nighter, I am sure whoever you eventually sleep with will not care. Or at least they shouldn't.

I think it's proof enough from the sympathetic response you have had here, that most gay men will not see it as an issue.

 

Why is this troll, Franz Rust, still running loose on Hip Forums? Get the hook! If he'd read the Bible instead of thumping it so much, he'd know that God doesn't hate fags. Even Pat Robertson concedes that God hate the sin but not the sinner. Jesus didn't say a word about gays, but had plenty to say about judgmental pharisees who are more concerned about the mote in their neighbor's eye than the beam in their own eye.