First true moral conflict

I'm not even sure I agree with Heinlein, I just like to throw more wood on the fire sometimes. And I think that conventional wisdom should be challenged at every turn. There's an Animal Collective lyric that I have been able to relate too a lot lately: "sometimes i don't agree with my thoughts on being free"

 

You already know what the right answer is. Listen to your heart. You came here asking for advice for a reason, what was that reason?

 

^ bangarang

 

Im going with this suggestion. Im not trying to "do karma" or anything. Karma is idependant, beyond us. Im not trying to solve anything either. This is just something I want to do, and Im going to do it.

 

Lol. I hope you both some how learn something from your mistakes.

 

you can look at this situation as an opportunity to possibly truly change someone. i'm not in your position, and i feel like it would be really hard to resist wanting to kick his ass. but i guess just look at it this way....

would you ultimately get more satisfaction from:

1.) beating the shit out of him, and realizing he probably won't change
2.) throwing the light of truth at him, which could consist of yelling at him but directly speaking TO him in a stern but completely authentic way and possibly changing his perception of life/the world/etc.

i'm not saying number 2 would automatically happen...but i guess just ask yourself which one would give you a deeper sense of satisfaction ultimately?

if you choose to just speak to him rather than fight him...just be completely honest. that always seems to have a way of resolving issues and conflicts and it will force him to really take a look at himself and his attitude. honesty can include anger and yelling might i add. it's completely necessary for this kind of situation.

 

this just makes me wonder about some things though. i like what someone said about challenging conventional wisdom. i just wonder what Adyashanti or Mooji would say about a situation like this.

is violence always a bad thing? this gives me mixed feelings in my stomach because i don't know the answer.

 

Mooji would drop kick him in the face.
Mooji-satsang-smackdown!

 

^^hahahaha

 

I think people have been skewed in their understanding of violence in human culture. Everything comes down to violence in the end. It is the only form of social order. We dont notice it today because most of us COMPLY with the demands of our governments, who otherwise get police to FORCE our bodies into line.

Now Im not saying that this makes violence good. No I strongly disagree with conflict in most cases, because most cases involve someone strong using their strength to control a weaker person.

This is not the only case of violence.

IF two men, or two teams, both decide to compete, then that is not an inherently bad thing.

Eg if OP went and bashed up the dude.. it would probably be the wrong thing. However, by talking to the dude and arranging a mutally accepted 'square off', the violence becomes something of higher value.. an agreement of parties to compete should not be hindered. Everyone wants to see violence.. we use movies and media to supplant our urge to know where the violence is occuring, between who, and with what outcome. IT is not necessarily that we crave violence but more that it is an assumption of life that violence occurs, and the 'craving' is to get information on the violence. Well, thats how I see it at least.

I think we should embrace fights between willing parties.. the only reason we cant allow two men to fight to the death is because there is a chance that one of the men doesnt actually want to fight and has been pushed into it through a threat of killing their family, or any other possible scenario of manipulation.

You know, in the wild west, the proudest thing two men could do was agree to a shoot off. Some people think this is blind or stupid pride. and it sort of is, because you are risking yourself and thus all the people that love you. But no one is ever thought of less for winning a mutually accepted duel.


All this aside, I think that he would be much less likely to try and rape (and, holding a girl and trying to kiss her on teh face while she is objecting is not just some drunken mistake that should be taken lightly) in the future if he has been beaten up about it before.
Unless.. he just becomes a sort of predator that looks for unprotected women.. and becomes more of a womaniser whilst also becoming more of a coward.

There is no way of knowing the outcome of the situation.

But you cant say that violence is inherently wrong.. especially when two guys agree to it.