I think my boyfriend is gay...

You might just want to sit down and talk to him about it, I've seen a couple relationships fail due to one partner having a really low sex drive and the other really high. I mean it's clearly not you that the problem

 

We'll have to go more in depth on this.

How long have you been going out officially?
And unofficially?
Who asked who?
Under what circumstances?

I'm just wondering, it seems like his heart isn't really in it, I'd be surprised if he's gay but he might just be insecure about losing you, might've had a bad experience rushing into a relationship before.

 

WE've been together for three months...officially and unofficially. He more or less initiated the idea of a relationship, actually. Which in this situation, boggles my mind. He's been staying with me for a month now because of a sticky situation that I shall not go into.

I don't know...*sigh* it doesn't make sense to me.

 

It might do, if you went into the sit. PM it if you don't want to post it. If it's what I think it is, I may be onto something.

 

I say he's gay annie,
if I was him I would be in your pants all the time.....

 

Don't initiate sex. Some guys don't like it and it turns them off. I mean if he's loving on you and cuddley than obviously he's into you and you are really good looking but just back off a bit or maybe it's a medical thing with him.

 

I'm amused how different the posts based on this are. Guys are saying, "I don't know what's wrong with him" and girls are saying "You need to back off and play hard to get". It's quite entertaining actually...

 

yeh gay guys......

 

Alcohol could have something to do with it, except that the old saying goes that alcohol increases the desire and decreases the ability. And he isn't showing the desire.

If I were in your shoes I would really want to know the answer to the question of what he was like with other women before you. It can be a little tricky getting that info, however, unless he wants to talk about it. If he's been that way with everyone, then you simply have a guy with a low sex drive.

If he's been more of a eager participant with other women then you have another area to explore....why is he different with you...or why is he different now.

Do you think he would be willing to talk about that ?

 

I've tried talking about it, but he just shuts down. I am soooo openminded when it comes to things, so I don't come off as if I'm being rude about it or trying to criticize him.

He's a confusing person. NOne of this makes sense.

 

It does sound confusing, Annie. And if he won't talk about it... well, unless you can find out through other means that may always be a mystery.

Do you two ever talk about past sexual exploits with each other ? That can be sort of a way into possibly getting into the mood to be intimate and it would also tell you more about his past with others without it having to be so much of a question and answer kind of thing, ya know what I mean ?

If that doen't work, you may be looking at just waiting and seeing if it changes. Sex in a relationship tends to have and ebb and flow to it, and if you two have only been together for 3 months then you haven't had time for too many ebb and flow cycles.

I just can't understand why he isn't all over you like an octipus.

 

Man thats a disturbing mental image... *shudders*

/Octopii are creepy lookin

 

Hey man ! I think they're cute.

 

= not cute

 

Oh, oh. Get out quick, it isn't worth the heartbreak and frustration. Could say all sorts of nice stuff about patience, guidance, and understanding. However, the signs are there. Pay them heed. Get away, take a break, and start over again. You're too young to take that kind of doublesymptoms. He'll come to grips soon and won't need you anyhow.

 

from your profile you are 21 so I assume your bf is near you age.

I doubt he is gay,

he may have a low sex drive .. believe it or not there are some guys that don't have one ..even at 21,

he might be scared of where the relationship is headed, ie: not ready for a long term commitment or the big "M" and forgoing sex is one way to put a damper on it

and as others have said ... the thrill is in the hunt, men don't want to be handed sex. umm no pun intended on that one LOL

 

....................what .......where did you get that idea?

 

This I find a bit... falsely generalising? I mean, I myself can very well be nothing but friends with girls, no problem. So I could sleep in the same bed as a naked girl and do nothing.

But then again, I am very feminine, shy, submissive and non-demanding. And indeed I like boys ( too ). So I don't know if what I said about myself counts for most men. In fact, your generalising is probably justified after all.

Anyway, from what I've read here, I doubt that he's gay. Unless his family has a perfect picture of him and he doesn't want to "spoil" it for them by letting them know he's gay, or something like that... it's a really small chance but in that case he might be using you as some sort of decoy. Which is terrible, for him that he needs to pretend and for you that you're being used. Again, don't count on it.

Good luck on finding out what the problem is between you.

 

I swear just don't intiate sex and he will be coming on to you after awhile.

 

yeh see your gay..........................