So I have asked my partner if she would like to do anal and she has agreed. I usually start out by having vaginal sex with her and putting 2 fingers in her butt, but when I stick my cock in, she tenses up with pain and says it hurts too much. What should I do? Try more fingers first? She is very relaxed but when I stick it in all the way she just cant take it. What should we do?
Idk I like the pain, but I'm weird so....maybe take it slow and let her adjust to it before you go in further. Good luck!
Here is a short tutorial I typed up a while back. It's how *I* learned.. The key to this is to take your time and go slow. You learn how to control your butt and sphincter muscles. You learn how to RELAX THEM and you get used to the feeling of it all. Anal play for beginners Disclaimer: I am NOT a doctor and I do NOT play one on TV. This is the way *I* learned how to discover anal play. As usual care needs to be practiced. GO VERY SLOWLY. First start off with a TRIMMED index finger. You may even want to put on a latex glove first to help make it even smoother. Use KY or the drug store brand of KY and lube the finger well. Place it VERY GENTLY near the anus and lightly circle the hole with the finger. DON'T INSERT YET. Just circle it for a few minutes. After a few minutes without insert, just put the finger over the anus and gently press a bit without entering. Just apply a bit of pressure. Do this over and over a few times and after a few minutes SLOWLY begin to insert JUST THE FINGER *TIP* in about a quarter of an inch then take it out. Do this a few times then go a LITTLE further in. Repeat this until you have you whole finger in. DO NOT FORCE IT, IF HE OR SHE OR YOU SAYS STOP, STOP! Within a week or so of trying this the person should be fairly used to the finger and inserting and pumping it in and out should become easy. Also try moving the finger around while inserted, back & forth,etc. Orgasms ARE VERY VERY INTENSE when you leave your finger or butt plug or dildo in. Soon you will want to try something slightly bigger than your finger. Try your middle finger or graduate to a SMALL butt plug. Same rules apply to the new toy as did with the finger. Start off using the finger as usual then after getting loose begin with the plug. Plugs have flared bottoms to prevent them from going all the way in. If you graduate to dildos later get ones with a flared base or ones that have the balls at the bottom. This prevents them from slipping all the way in. You don't need a trip to the ER to retrieve it, that would SUCK! After a while you will become very used to anal play and you won't need much time to prep for your session. You'll loosen up very quickly after you learn how to relax your anal muscles. It takes me less than 5 minutes to go from start to riding a 8 inch silicon dildo like a bucking bronco! GITTYUP LITTLE DOGGIE! The key to learning anal play/sex is to TAKE YOUR TIME.
Everything thing that has been said is good thus far. I agree, the finger must be trimmed, but also filed. When nails are freshly cut, they are sharp, you don't want to give your girl an anal fissure, she will NEVER let you stick anything in her butt after that. Lube is key for anal. Without good lube it will not work, especially for a novice. Get a good water based lube if you're using condoms, if not, use a good hypo allergenic fragrance free lotion, as lotion works better for direct skin on skin contact. What has been said it true. Go slower. If she can take your fingers with no pain, but tenses up with your cock, then it's mental, she need to relax, and this will only happen after many sessions of her become open (no pun intended) to anal stimulation. You can start with fingers, but I suggest starting with the tongue, it's wet, warm, and soft. This will make her asshole melt like butter. What you want her to do is relax, the more relaxed the is, the easier anal will be. Remember, if it hurts, something is wrong, don't have her just bear through the pain, STOP, and warm her up some more. Communication is key for good anal. If she says stop then stop. It's her ass, so let her be in control, let her get on top and control the depth and speed of anal, this position, or spooning is great for anal beginners. Doggy offers less communication but is good for more experienced partners since it allows for deeper more aggressive penetration, so she may not be able to do that one, so maybe that's the problem. In time, when she relaxes, and becomes accustom to anal, her ass will relax and dilate with even the most gentle caress, but this takes practice and experience. I have been having anal with my gf for a LONG time, and she barely needs any lube or warming up at all, just a little spit or vag lube and she's good to go.
Let her do you in the ass! You might have a better understanding of how to approach it, and you might love it yourself.
