I'm in jail!

At least, that's what if feels like. I cannot escape my house. The gate latch is covered in so much ice, I cannot get it open, despite my keying it. I'm going stir crazy, sitting in a house with three mangy mutts and with nothing to do! GET ME OUTTA HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Apparently, I know very little of Hawaiian weather in March.

 

jump the fence and make a run for it.
Remember to zig zag across the yard so you're not as easy to spot.

 

use a torch

or a hair dryer

 

Ice storms are completely regular.

That or I do not really know the whereabouts of my geographic location.

 

Lick it, your body temperature and the wetness will cool it down, allowing for an easy escape.

 

That idea brings back so many memories. Thanks.

But uh, I'm too damn old to be climbing fences, and fences covered in ice an inch thick, well you can just forget about it!

 

jesus wants you to stay home today.

 

I knew there was reason behind all this madness!!!

 

that wacky jesus guy is always behind wackiness...

 

Boil a kettle, pour hot water on it.
Use de-icer from a car, if there's one handy.


T'aint hard.

 

I made it out! And I'm back. Power is out all through town. I went to work to pick up my check and buzzers were going off like mad, and upon leaving, a fallen tree blocked the driveway. I was like "fuck I'm going to be stuck here" At that instance, I gained superhero strength and moved a big fucking tree out of my way. And then as I was walking back into my house, I slipped on the icy steps, and by the grace of god, I caught myself. That woulda hurt.