Weight Gain

NICE! i wanna quit very soon. it's making me ugly and old.

 

get some protein powder and put it in shakes with whole milk. That shit will fatten you up.

 

quitting smoking on it's own is usually enough for most people to gain weight.

I was pretty much the same as you from 22 to 30; I couldn't gain weight no matter what I did.

Since 30, if I stop exercising for even the shortest amount of time, the pounds pile on.

 

I don't like that word. Makes me feel like I should be stick thin.

 

hell, dave's drinking it with 1% milk and he's getting buff.

 

You're gonna have to stop. You're supposed to be my ageless goddess. At least that's what you promised as payment for that 6 hampster circus I put on for you a few years back. I still have ulcers from those bastards.

It's a shame you're not a stoner like me. I just smoked joints every time I wanted tobacco. I smoked towards 30 joints the first day. About a dozen the second, and by the third day I couldn't even get high so I only smoked like 2 or 3 joints. Works like a charm.

 

nah. just short.

 

my skin appears to be going through puberty. i shall put extreme effort into it since you called me an ageless goddess.

 

it's not possible. the only thing i have yet to try is being over 30 years old, so i'm still holding out hope for the next decade.

 

Just any protein powder or is there some really good and some really crappy?

 

PM Fitzy, he's a protein junkie.

 

30? C'mon!! I've waited 4 years to be 25!!

And now they say 40 is the NEW 30....You know how long we're going to look like stick figures, buddy?

 

actually, what i've read puts men's muscled gaining prime at around 35. sorry.

 

well there is the temporary solution of a pillow under the shirt...

but yeah, i've pretty much given up on not being a stick.

 

lol

why are you trying to conform to some stupid ideal...

 

Only do interval cardio. That means, example, one minute on, one minute off. No long runs, no endurance training.

When training weights, go for 8-10 reps of heavy weight. Your final set should be really, really hard to finish. Train different muscle groups each day, and make sure you give each muscle group 2-5 days to recover. Your muscles grow when you rest, not when you train. Rest is paramount to weight/muscle gain.

When you're training, don't exceed 45-60 minutes. Make sure you get a carbohydrate rich meal atleast an hour or so before going to the gym. If you exceed the 60 minute mark, with the metabolism I assume you have, you are likely to start cannibalizing muscle for energy to lift the weights.

Protein. Get lots of protein. Before you go to bed, have a nice big proteiny meal or a shake. Have loads of carbs just before bed as well and you might gain weight quicker, but it won't be all muscle. Just after you lift weights, have a nice big proteiny meal or a shake. If you can, try to get 200-250 grams of protein per day. (That's a lot) So that would mean three protein-rich meals and three protein shakes per day, roughly. Proteins are the building blocks, I'm sure you know. They give your muscles the energy they need to grow.

Yes, there is a difference in protein quality. Some are good, some are shit. What you can get depends on where you are. Research on the internet or ask in the shop if you feel the person you're speaking with will give you sincere advice.

Good sources of protein: Tuna, chicken, beef, oatmeal, milk, beans, nuts. The list goes on.

It is important to remember that it is more difficult to gain weight than it is to lose. So be patient. Have a good diet, eat lots and lots, lift heavy stuff, and don't do endurance cardio.

 

probably because it appeals to him.

 

Hang out with 10 year olds. They'll make you look way bigger in comparison.

 

Why are you asking me a stupid fucking question that is completely off from my thinking?

Did I say I was trying to get buff? NO. I said I was trying to gain weight. A little muscle would be cool, but I'd settle for flat out chubby, to be honest.

 

Trying to fit in in America, eh?