So last night met up with my friend. I bought 2 yellow transformers from her. This was only my second experience with ecstasy, and the first one had been a let down. I hadn't experienced the true beauty of it until last night. So I get home, grab a cup of orange juice, and prepare to enter the realm of MDMA. Little did I know where it would take me. So I put the round yellow tablets into my mouth, observing the autobot on the front. I go into my room, turn off the lights and lay down with my ipod. In the first 45 minutes I feel normal, and start to get a little disappointed. I was feeling like I had been let down with X again. So I get up, turn on the neon light on my clock, and go to my computer. I gloomily tell my friends that it had failed again. I pick up my phone and start to text the girl who I bought them from asking why they don't work, when a spark goes off right behind my phone. I am intrigued by this spark, when another one comes. I have no idea where these sparks are coming from, but I like them. I close my eyes, and as if closing my eyes were an on switch, the E kicks in. My entire body is in euphoria. I can't stop typing on my keyboard, it feels so good. I tell my friends that it is working, and that it is my best drug experience so far. I start to video chat and am in complete happiness. Everything I see I want to make feel better. At one point I picked up a chair and started dancing with it. A pop up of a taco comes up, and I crave tacos. I start to think of all things related to tacos. I am begging my friend to bring me tacos. The reason I am craving tacos is beyond me. I start to get very thirsty, but am too caught up in the happiness to leave my chair. I end up writing a story, just because my fingers being on the keyboard brought me a great deal of happiness. It is difficult to sum up the experience through a thread, but it is amazing. I just wish the long term effects weren't so bad so I could do it more often.
yes the mdma experience is strange in that it is both difficult to describe because of how subtle it is, and difficult to describe because of how grand and sweeping the change to your self is. It's hard to get in at it with language and explain to someone. I like to say it's the exact opposite of a panic attack. It's a euphoria attack. Everything rocks. Everything is amazing. You love everything. Everything looks fantastic. Everything sounds amazing. Everything feels tremendous. You are so motivated you can cure world hunger or run across the continent. You are happier not just more than you've ever been in your life but more than you thought possible. (Only thing that comes close to this sheer 'happiness' and 'pleasure' ime is shrooms, so i can imagine why mush + x is stupendous). You feel like the coolest and nicest person on the planet. You want to call all your friends, all your relatives, and tell them how much you love them. Your heart feels like it's going to explode because of how much LOVE you have to give to every single person on this planet. You realize how much you've been holding back or deficient in this emotional aspect of yourself, but it's ok, because now you're gonna make it all better and let everyone know how much they mean to you and everybody will just feel amazing. All your insecurities mysteriously vanished, and you can talk about anything and everything with the utmost ease. You want to tell people important to you things you have been embarrased or insecure to talk about. You want to share your weaknesses, to let everyone know its ok to have them, because they are just the other side of this beautiful fountain of sheer bliss that is you. Your body becomes both impervious to pain and as sensitive as a clitoris. You sweat buckets, and your body temperature goes haywire. Freezing like CRAZY one minute, then BOILING another minute. Your jaw tightens and naturally assumes the position of clenched. Your vision gets a little blurred, text is hard to read. Hard to focus on things as well because your eyes jerk around now and then and refocus somewhere else in your field of vision without you giving them that command. Normally these things would be annoying to a sober person, but on mdma all these things are just more cool things that are happening to you. In fact you are fascinated by these side effects. You realize how amazing and mysterious the human body is, how incredible it is that some simple molecule can cause these effects in you. Everything is awesome, the most perfect moment on the best day of your life, and you never ever want it to end. and then it does -_-
