Possible? Right down to it, I'm not a very self-conscious person by nature... but I am quite mindful of how people percieve me intellectically. I guess this little insecurity started a few months ago, just before December. I had two siezure's last year around March and I couldn't remember having either of them for a while afterwards. Apparently people were telling me that I'd had a siezure over and over again for a good twenty minutes before it finally sunk in. Just wondering, could this have effected my memory or something? After I had the siezures and started taking the medication again, I was completely 100% a-okay. I was studying math and art in college - that was going pretty smoothly. I got a C grade in math but it was an improvement from the D I got in year 11... I've always been a smart kid. Though there was never a time that I remember liking it, not even in kindergarden. Growing up in the bush, and travelling around alot of my life, I knew the names of every dinosaur and aussie animal by the age of 10. I knew some Italian words and swears. I knew all about the lives of my parents' favorite musicians. Ever since I learnt to read I've always had my head burried in some book. I knew all about the Aboriginal Dreamtime, bush tucker, stories and some of the meanings behind their drawings and dot painting by the time I hit primary school. Then I went to school and I learnt how profoundly boring it could be. I was, and am a pretty good artist. When I was younger I'd come home with math tests or something and I could have missed a dozen questions, but every inch of it would be covered in drawings... But for the past few weeks I don't know why it is, but I feel like people are talking down to me. I'm back at college, studying the same subjects again, because I need at least a B in math if I want to get into TAFE or Uni. 'Cept I got a different teacher, and only two other people in the class. We're learning about the stock market this month and I'm struggling to understand it. When I ask a question it seems like the teacher is talking down to me. I was having trouble with it last year but I'm eighteen, I should be grasping it easier then I am now. When I'm talking to certain people, again, I feel like they are either talking down to me or are just completely uninterested in what I have to say. So when I'm sitting there trying to talk to someone I start to feel uncompfortable, falter, and sometimes have difficulty forming sentances, or finding the right words to explain things. When I'm talking to someone sometimes I'll think of something to say, but I wont say it, and sometimes I might have had a conversation with someone and about ten minutes later I'll think "shit! why didnt I say that?" Is it all just an insucurity? Just something in my head?
You dont sound slow... Seizures can cause brain damage. But they have to go on for a really long time for that to happen. Do you know how long you seizure lasted? Peace and good health man..:cheers2:
Other than the seizures, you sound about as stable as any other 18 year old. Normal thoughts. Normal moods. Normal problem with self image. Normal problem with people talking down at you. It all goes with the age you are now. You're not a complete human being yet. Most likely, neither are the ones talking down to you. Be patient. Life is fixing to get interesting. And keep taking your meds. x
Thanks to the both of you I really appreciate your comments And you are both right too, I think it is only an insecurity, I just need to work out how to get over it As for the seizures they pretty much lasted as long as a normal one, which can be around 1-3 minutes
