Not gay?

^yeah, I know for sure that I'm into guys, but my question was just whether I could possibly be into girls too. I'm still not sure, but I've been thinking about it lately and I'll just see how things go, I'm not worried about it. But yeah I just haveta give things time...

 

^^^^

At the risk of sounding like a dick again

How are we going to know if you are still into girls?

I can tell you I see bi turn to gay all the time, dont really ever see Gay going back to bi or straight, cant really think of one single guy that fits that description, except ones that hook up with a girl to make babies and lie there ass off to the girl

 

I was with a guy who was, like, 90% gay, but had a woman every now and then. Really sound, relaxed guy, not a poser at all. So yeah. I'm guessing people feel bound by the orientation they choose to attach their sexuality to - so if they're 90% attracted to guys, most guys will ignore the other 10% attraction to girls because they feel like those feelings are somehow not genuine.

I do feel that this is a societal thing - that as a society we have for some reason arrived at the decision that people have orientations and that they cannot change. This is probably symptomatic of gay people having to fight the notion that they should change their sexual orientation, regardless of whether they could or not or whether they might want to or not.

 

Dudeeeeee I'm not even sure myself so I'm going to let myself see how things go. I still can't even say whats made me think about this lately really, but if I'm thinking about it, as I said, then I think it means something, so I'll just see how things go.

Thats nice that you've never seen gay go back to bi or straight. I'm not trying to hook up with a girl to make babies and lie my ass off? Do you claim to be an expert of sexuality or something? I'm aware that its more common that bi people go gay than gay going in the opposite "direction"- but that's exactly why I created this thread! Because I'm confused!

 

No, not at all. when you hear older people crap on about "life experience" , its kind of bull in a way, in another way its not. Your 19 I'm 36, in that 17 year difference I've just met, come in contact with, interacted with a lot more gay/straight people. 5 or so years after high school, you start to see some patterns emerging. Yeah, everybody is different but only in a dozen or so generalized ways.

Doesn't mean by the the time you get to 36, you're not going to be smarter, more clued in about people than I am, who knows. In fact pretty certain in high school you had more of a clue than I did at the same age, we didnt have the internet back then

 

I've met tons of guys who were pushing twice my age who were totally fucking clueless about this stuff. It's like, when they come out, they have to re-learn everything about the world or something. I'm glad I got it out of the way early.

 

Alrighty I think this thread has served it's purpose, now it's just Vanilla Gorilla liking to listen to himself talk.

 

K. The real answer is: do what feels right. I mean, this might sound knuckle-headed and perhaps it is, but I figure you can have a sexual curiosity, but ultimately it'll come down to whether you meet the right person as to whether you act on it. The only reason to think about who you might be attracted to is if you're looking for a label for yourself. In terms of living your life, I say fuck who you want to fuck, but worry about it when it comes up.

 

LOL

 

piano, you go to hampshire? that's funny because i go to bard and i applied and was accepted there as well. anyway, they're both pretty similar demographically except bard's students (from my experience) are more hipster... sometimes unfortunately, sometimes fortunately. part of the reason i actually chose bard was because i knew there were a few more gay folks, but even then, it's still primarily hook ups. i haven't dated anyone for well over a year.

my main point, though, is that i think predominantly you're just perturbed because you don't have enough options and you're feeling disenchanted with the gays. been there before. i came here thinking there were going to be many more gays, and there are a lot, but most of them are just awful. that's just how it goes. i've thought about "going straight" before since coming here (i'm a sophomore), but mostly as a joke. my advice is that if you're not motivated enough to actual persue a girl, you're probably not into them. i say that because i didn't realize i was gay till right around when i turned eighteen; i had had many crushes on girls in the past and even been pursued by them, but i never responded or tried to date any myself because i never felt that feeling that makes your heart speed up and leaves you shaking at the knees. i didn't experience that till i truly fell for my friend, who turned out to be a boy. i didn't care, and i finally felt motivated to try to get with him, even if ultimately it was unsuccessful because he's straight.

i feel like i might be rambling at this point, but i hope at least some of that's helpful.

 

PresidentialScandal,
thanks so much for your advice, it really was helpful.
yeah, I definitely have been disappointed with the gays on campus; in terms of both quantity and quality...yeah, in the past, I had dated a couple girls (end of middle school/first year of high school) but never did anything beyond kissing...and you talking about "that feeling that makes your heart speed up adn leaves you shaking at the knees" really brought me back to how I realized I was gay- because I had been the same way- I had crushes on girls, and dated one girl for over year, but after experimenting with a guy, and having my first boyfirend, I knew that feeling, and it was one I had never experienced with girls.

thanks again!