Who does #2 work for?

I'm on a decent script for pain and both the oxycodone and the hydrocodone come with a similar side effect; constipation. I try to keep my fiber up, I try to keep a routine going, I try to keep my diet full of food that doesn't hinder my ability to go...but sometimes I slip up. Sometimes you nod for 48 hours and find that you skipped the weekend and now you are bound up with a passion. Sometimes you have a friend up so you go out to eat and get steak a couple times. Sometimes the only fiber you get comes from movie popcorn while you barely make it through Watchmen.

When you have screwed up like that and are to the point where you are having cramps, what can you do to ease your body into release? I couldn't find a way. It took me 45 minutes and when the moment came I was yelling. I didn't yell when my hip was dislocated, but I'm yelling because of this. For 15 seconds, I was Stan Marsh showing up Bono.

When I am in this predicament, how can I have an easy bm?

There are details below. Only highlight if you are like me and have some weird fixation on this subject:

It was awful. It took me ten minutes of grunting to get a tiny, unsatisfying plop. I thought I would have been nearly through this Herculean effort, but only a small brown orb waited in the toilet to mock me. Here I put in so much effort I figured I wouldn't have to go again until May and there was almost nothing to show for my effort. I had taken a double shot of Milk of Magnesia about ten minutes before I began the attempt. I don't know if it did anything physically, but as a placebo effect, I had more confidence in rejoining the battle.

Because of my accident, the school gave me a handicapped-accessible apartment. There are bars by the toilet. I don't have to use them anymore, but they came in useful tonight. I was able to not only hold onto them as I attempted to force a watermelon out of my body, but I was also able to use them to lift my body up a little, then let it fall down, in order to generate maximum force on releasing the blockage. The attempt began at 6:45. At 6:55 I had the false positive. At 7:00 I had to IM the girlfriend to tell her I wouldn't be back online by 7:30. I also grabbed a school book.

Much like television shows represent the process of birth, I had periods of pushing, followed by recovery periods where I would gasp for air, curse myself and attepmt to rip an 800 page book in half (nope, not that strong). At 7:25, I felt a change; like a tree after it has been struck repeatedly by an axe will hesitate...unsure if gravity will fully take hold. My perception of time grows hazy here.

A short time after this, the flood gates opened and I was subjected to a type of pain I have never known before and hope to never experience again. I screamed. As unmanly as that sounds, I screamed as the Angry Fist of Last Weekend tore through my belly and burst into the air. I imagine it looked like a scene from Aliens, just lower...and from my butt. The lack of teeth surprised me. I could have sworn I was bit. And it seemed to refuse to end. Once freed, there was no end to the anger. I half-expected to find a kidney at the end of the rod.

It did end...all brown and with no major organs attached. I couldn't get an accurate measurement on it, but I would guess that it is 13 inches long. At least 8 inches are a uniform circumference, which I would estimate to be at least 6.2 inches, because I believe the diameter to be slightly more than 2 inches. It reaches from the flush opening to out of the water on the opposite end of the bowl. I took a picture and sent it to my brothers.

That was it. Once the evil was gone, there was no more. It had been concentrated into one burning, angry hammer. It alone came to rule my toilet bowl. It is still there. I have to let the water soften it up before I try to flush. I have had water overflow onto the floor once...I don't want to clean again.

 

i HATE how opiates constipate you. if your going to be doing them on a regular basis i guess try taking stool softener and/or low dose laxative on a regular basis as well.

 

dude theres stuff you can take on a regular basis to help but nevermind that i think you have a talent for writing..your descriptive narrative on your ''movement'' was at worst a b+..i thought the orb line was funny...are your talents restricted to shit and shit related topics or do you also write about piss and other body functions...you mentioned a girlfriend...perhaps you could get a blumpkin and write about it combining all your passtimes together...good luck

 

the problem with a blumpkin is that if he is that constipated timing might be a serious issue. if your not constipated then you can just hold it until the right moment. i like where your head's at tho

 

post the pic!! haha jk

 

Lots of fruits and water will help. I also agree with the above suggestions that recommend minor doses of laxatives. I've had some rock-hard shits before... but I always kept my use and diet under enough control to avoid the kind of terror you so eloquently described in your first post.

 

approx how man courics would you say?

 

My dump was 36.75 cubic inches
That is 602.224 602 cubic centimeter
Which each weigh one gram
Which is one and a third pound.
Or, .533 of a Couric
I have my work cut out for me

 

Haha! Very well written, I could almost feel the pain and agony as I read it! In that situation, keep a syringe handy that you can squirt some water with a little soap up there, hold it in for a minute or two, then things start to flow much better. I had to do this once during a very painful cramping and it just wouldn't move! Does the trick. Yeah, lots of fiber, psyllium husk, fruit and water should help for maintenance. And um... post the poo pic! haha

 

Man, I sympathize with you because I know that feeling all too well. I never had that much trouble taking a shit when I was just doing Oxycontin and other opiates but now that I am on Methadone, hell, it is nearly impossible to take a good shit. I was doing upwards of 300mg to 500mg of Oxycontin per day and never had too much trouble shitting but I realized that I had not been getting all of it out because when I detoxed cold turkey in jail I shit out my fucking insides for two weeks. There would be days when I would sit on the shitter for hours and the worst part for me when it came to taking a shit while in withdrawal was the feeling that I was never clean enough when I finished up. It was a dirty, sick feeling. Anyways, I just dosed and I am rambling because I do not have anyone to talk to at the office, sorry. My average daily dose of Methadone is around 150mg and I have been on it for almost three and a half years. The constipation was not bad at all for the first year and a half but the last two years have been terrible. I tried Fiber One, Metamucil, laxatives, and other natural methods to help the constipation but nothing worked. I was searching the forums of another "opiate-friendly" website and found a "Constipation Cure" and was kind of skeptical at first, but damn, it fucking works really good. Go to "Opiophile" (www.opiophile.org) and go to the "Methadone" forum, then at the top of the thread list are the "sticky" threads, click on the "sticky" titled "Boxcar's Constipation Cure - For Lifers Only." It sounds crazy and might be crude to some people but when you are almost in tears because it hurts so much to take a simple shit or because your stomach cramps are so fucking bad then you will understand why we would go to such an extreme to find relief (even if it means using an old-fashioned douche bag). Good luck and maybe Boxcar's cure will work for you, too.



-NICU

 

here is a south park link for the Katie Couric measurement..
Hope it works
http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid1243593749/bctid1243715048

 

fiber... lots and lots of fiber... eat apples.. oranges.. whole grains.. etc.. they soften the stool...

 

i also had this problem for a couple weeks when i was first prescribed oxy. but i think your body will adjust to it. mine did anyway. if not, coffee always did the trick for me.

 

^^^Same here. But all you need to do is drink water. thats why you plug up to begin with..
I drink 3 16oz glasses a day, and the shit just rolls out perfectly...
And I've noticed that if I drink only one or two 16oz glasses a day I plug up a little.. And I eat whatever I want.
So try that
Oh ya, killer story man..

 

^ plug up?

 

I seem to be fine that way. I have been on OxyContin for almost 2 years and I think my body is just used to it. The trick is drink lots (not alcohol). But I do agree with NICU that it might not all come out. Because I am myself taking a break and am having some, lets just say, problems.

 

I enjoyed the story, actually laughed out loud a few times, nice job. I have the same troubles, sometimes I wont go for a couple days and then think that I have to and when I sit on the bowl all that comes out is a giant fart and nothing moves. Ive also had times in my early heavy usage where I lost track of the last time I went #2 and then I would eat something and my stomach would reject it and Id have to vomit.

I am also on a heavy dose of opiates daily and also have bad constipation. As a matter of fact I just put in a suppository because i havent gone in a few days. I was recently started on two softeners prescribed(though you can buy them unprescribed), one is the equivalent of miralax, and even with those I still get stopped up fairly often. The worst part about opiates is how addicting they are, but that part doesnt matter to me that much because I dont get mine from the street. The worst parts to me are how quickly you build a tolerance, the horrible constipation, and the reality of having to depend on opiates the rest of my life because of how great of a painkiller they are, which is somewhat similiar to addiction.

 

Just experienced this myself, although to be honest I've had far worse constipation long before the thought of (ab)using opiates so much as crossed my mind.

Does anybody know why opiates cause constipation? And for those of you with serious habits, do you take laxative regularly?

 

I took Milk of Magnesia. I don't know if it helped or not, but the Brown Snake of Death emerged about an hour afterwards.

When I was in the hospital, the guy next to me was getting an enema a day and refusing to use a commode. Poor guy.

I have not used them, but I would put my money on suppositories as the best thing we could use.

 

Opiates suck the water from your intestines. Thats why alot of water is needed everyday.
I don't take laxitives cause I drink water everyday and have no problems