So my boyfriend and I have been dating on and off for 5 years. We broke up on Sunday, I think officially. He broke up with me because of something I did. A couple months ago I started having a crush on my friend, and I don't know what happened or how I thought this would be okay, but I sent him some pictures of me in my underwear and my hands covering my boobs. I told him that I felt really bad about what I had done to my boyfriend and we decided to just forget about it. About a month after that, two of his friends(both guys) found the pictures on his computer, and then told me about it. They told me they liked the pictures and they weren't going to say anything about it though. I felt so guilty about the whole situation and I just wanted to tell my boyfriend but I was so embarrassed.. So up until this past weekend, the whole situation was completely unspoken of. I'm not exactly sure who said something but three of my friends that are also friends with my boyfriend found out about the pictures and told him. Obviously he broke up with me and is trying to make me feel as low as possible about what I did. I can't even describe how I feel right now, I feel so sorry for my (ex)boyfriend. I'm sorry that he had to find out that way, i'm sorry that I did it, and now my friends all look at me differently. I made a huge mistake and they are doing a really good job of making me feel like crap. The thing is, he just wants to be friends with me now, and i'm okay with that. I don't see how I could date him again after what I did to him. It's just, when we were dating, he was always so overprotective and in everything I did. Like, he always had to know who I was texting/talking to and what we were talking about. I was never allowed to hang out with any of my guy friends. He was a very jealous person, and I guess I just wanted attention from someone else. I just need some input on what I should do now...
Get over him, move on, and live. Trust me, at 17, you will be able to do the same to MANY more boyfriends.
hey.. sorry to hear about your boyfriend. If you are seventeen and you guys have dated for five years, that is a long time to be interested in each other, and there seems to be a good chance that you might end up together again. As for what you did, don't beat yourself up too much. You messed up, but it was your need for attention, and that is a normal human response. It is possible that your boyfriend was not giving you all that you need, and he has to own part of the blame. Maybe he will be mature enough to talk it out once the dust settles. In the big picture, you have many years to do dumb things, and in retrospect, I am guessing this won't even make your top 100 list. Years from now, you won't even remember it. But remember that anything you "put out there" will last forever, so if you wish to remain secret about it, don't make a permenant copy. Digital pictures last forever. Good luck James
theres nothing you can do about it now just don't cry about it in the future when karma returns the favor take it like a champ and dont ever make the same mistake twice
Thanks you guys I'll try not to beat myself over it too much. He says he wants to be friends for awhile and I have to agree with him.. but he also says that he wouldn't even think about dating anyone for a long time and that I shouldn't either... How can he expect me to stay single/loyal to him even if we aren't dating!?! I'm not saying I want to jump into another relationship right away, that's the last thing on my mind. I just want to be single and enjoy myself right now.
its true, enjoy single life, enjoy dating...enjoy your youth dont get wrapped up in complicated relationships until you know who you really are and what you really want...
First of all, quit beating yourself up over this! While it's true that this may not have been your finest moment, it won't be the last time you do something that in retrospect you wish you hadn't done. You are young - in time you will probably do many more regrettable things. It's the stupid things that we do that shape the person that we will become. They are inevitible, and just part of the growing up process. Remember - there ARE no mistakes! There is what you do, and what you don't do. I am sorry that you are in this pain, an I am certainly not minimalizing what you are going through now. But hold your head high and don't let them bring you down. Beleive it or not, this will all fade away - and probably sooner than you even could imagine possible. It's those "mistakes" we make that turn us into interesting people with more perspective than those who never had the guts to live a little! Love yourself!
he's going to hold it against you as long as you two talk so it may be hard but you need to eventually get over it, and you're saying he was controlling if someone doesn't want you to be you then it's not love, and if you're not in love after five years of being together (being 17 or not) that's no good
Thank you so much I had a talk with him last night, and he said he would never trust me ever again after what I did to him. In all honesty... I know what I did hurt him and i've apologized countless times, but seriously, I am only 17! He was trying to compare himself to me, talking about how he would never do something like that and how he has never cheated on me. I tried to explain to him that i'm a human... I screw up once in a while. He just won't ever see past this and forgive me. And I know it's really soon still but, it just hurts so bad I love him so much. I really do.
You will learn a lot about men and about life in general from dating some other people. Nobody is prepared to pick out their life partner at age 12. Stay in touch with the guy. You could end up together at some point, when the time is right for a truly serious relationship. By then, you will have a better idea of whether he was trying to control you, or just worried about letting a real winner get away.
