marijuana and higher guidance

So zen, from what i've said in my last post i don't think it's anything unique or highly specialised ... just waking up to reality. However from what i've read and been told humanity is simply undergoing a new stage of evolution where conciousness wakes up to itself and the more people that wake up, the easier it becomes for others to follow. So if there's anything 'unique' it would simply be as a trailblazer for others, as others have gone before us.

That's cool! I'm glad you remained sane with it. It's not uncommon for people to actually think they are Jesus born again or the 'one and only' christ and get some kind of complex or mental illness around it ... ego LOVES all that stuff. I think i told you about when i was a kid and this guy told me he was 'Jesus come again' and told me i was the only one who could help him 'save the world'. - I don't doubt he'd been through something which rocked his world, but to call oneself jesus or to make 'the christ' a personal identity is definitely a sighn of madness.
For my own experience, although i knew nothing of spirit or 'christ experiences' and knew that nobody i had ever met had spoken of such experiences ... i had the savvy to understand that whatever had happened to me was natural and possible for everyone,- that it's our natural state.

But about light and darkness ... like i said before "Fear colours darkly" ... to me 'the darkness', is just what is unknown and unconcious. When we explore it we find that it's not dark at all ... we see that our darkness, in whatever form it takes is a product of our fear and separation, and in realising that, what once was 'darkness' falls away. When our fear and separation falls away, so does the 'darkness'. So i don't think light and dark are opposites but that one is real and one isn't.

 

Well, after saying i make a point these days of not going to psychic mediums, i phoned a woman tonight who does psychic art, readings, and reiki. I might go and see her next week for some healing and if she offers any psychic insight, i'll see if what she has to say resonates. I've been here in wales nearly three weeks and i just feel i want to meet like minded folk, it's not easy meeting people when you're stuck in the countryside without transport. She does workshops too so that'd be a good way too meet some people also.
...Oh i found a nice picture of our planet

 

Nice picture!
I smoke pot once a week or so, depends some times much much less and sometimes a couple times a week for the past 4 yrs. I've had plenty of spiritual experiances and meetings from relatives or who I think are relatives, dunno can't talk with them but I feel them there and hear their footsteps and breath, but I wasn't high. I don't connect as well to my higher self when high.

I found that when i'm high and meditate the next two days end up being like a living hell. I think smoking and trying to meet spirits isn't a good idea, the pot leaves you open and is thought to leave your protective forces (egg of light around body) weak and vulnerable. so i've read and experianced.

That being said I've found that pot makes me see much beauty in the world, which helps see aurus to a great extent! I can see auras with ease when i'm high, however i can't be permastoned, it can only be a one a week session.
Just my experiances
thanks for everyone sharing, its been a good thread:cheers2:

 

I think many people can enjoy getting high sometimes, even on a weekly basis and not identify with it. A bit like me with booze, i can enjoy a drink often but not identify with it ... it doesn't become a part of 'me' and who i am. So even though i can enjoy a drink i'm equaly happy not drinking at all, and some people are like this with cannabis ... they can get high on a weekly basis and not identify themselves with it .... they don't become a 'toker' or 'pothead' or seek to find relief through it .... it's just something they enjoy doing sometimes.

It's not the drug that's 'doing you' ... it's the dependency and identification with it that's 'doing you'. It's your mind that's 'doing you'.... the reason you became dependent on it in the first place.
It's seems that it's often the case that when people actually come to give up their 'habits', with a positive mental attitude they so often find it was easier than they could have imagined.
There's a 'weight-watchers' advert on TV right now in which a woman says, "I found out my craving was in my mind not my tummy!" Haha, but it's true enough.

With spirituality, identity is everything. If you identify with the world of form, your habits, your work, even your sexuality, everything we know in this world then we cease to identify with the spirit... the essence that we are beyond 'this life'.
Yet this life, this world of form is valid enough and a part of creation. It's not to deny it but to realise that the physical experience is a very 'surface' experience and represents only a fraction of our totality.
It comes back to moderation again ... be 'in the world (of form) but not of it', don't deny it, enjoy it, but realise it won't last and cannot by it's very nature give you lasting happiness.
The same goes for cannabis, booze, sex, ...everything. Enjoy a smoke or a drink, or a good fuck, but don't identify with it and get stuck on it. Life flows ... don't get stuck.

 

Zen, and anyone who's interested.

I want to go back to this statement ... what 'the light' told me:

This was pretty mutch mirrored by what 'k' was telling me at the time ... that if i "Sorted myself out" she would talk to me. After we split she basically 'stonewalled' me, refusing to talk. She had taken a stance in which there was nothing wrong with her (despite her panic attacks, fear and aggresiveness, and 'acid stomach' which had been giving her problems for ages) and that everything was wrong with me. I figured she stonewalled because she didn't want to look at herself and admit her part in the failure of our relationship ... that she was protecting her self image, essentially.

Yet i came to know that i actually did love her and that we had percieved eachother through a perception based in fear and a lack of self worth. I knew she had simply wanted love and when i came to realise this huge misunderstanding of eachother i was like "Well if you want love here it is, here i am. It's available to you now, right now .. if you want it."
I had realised the difference between her egoic self and facade, and her true self and i was willing then to forgive it in us both and essentially share the love we both really wanted.
The way i saw it she wanted love but her egoic self wanted some idealised picture of love ... some kind of perfection where nothing ever goes wrong, and where she's in control and it's it's all on her terms. But of course that is not love.
She simply wasn't willing to let down her ego. It was incredibly hard for me to let down mine and say "This is it, this is me ... for all my imperfections this is what you get ... i'm just human, i'm not superman .... but i love you."
I could see the real her and i had what she wanted ... but she didn't want it. As long as she was stuck in her egoic conciousness i could see that any potential relationship wasn't going to work. All i could do in the end was let go of her.

So her and this 'light' were essentialy saying the same thing; "Be better and i'll love you."
But i say this; "If there's a time for love it's now. Tomorrow never comes and i can't live or wait for a love which is always tomorrow. It won't help me tomorrow, I need it now."
It was this view that led to me to experiencing that state of spirit ... i had realised that (as Eckart would say) i couldn't find salvation or freedom in the future. I had realised that i already was what i was, and that i was all that i could ever be.
So the night of that experience of mine it was rebellion, rebellion against the mind ...against the ego, and what it was saying. I let love in, ... no more waiting, no more trying to be 'better' than i was. No more undermining and no more delaying.
It was simply impossible to be anything other than what i was. It felt like betrayal and it felt like dying. Betraying her (ego) and what she wanted was being true to myself, and also being true to her real self.
To put it another way, i dethroned my god. it took alot of courage and faith in what i knew deep down in myself to be true.

If turning away from the light, as Eckhart sais, is an act of fear, then that fear will justify itself with some reason or another. And so my reason was that i needed to return to my old reality, treat my body as a temple and somehow, someday in the future return. An impossible task because now is the only time for being who you are.

It's actually taking a fair bit of courage to say all this. I've considered this for some time. I don't think the'light' actually said what i think it said. I think my egoic mind said it. My fear said it. My separation said it. I think my egoic fearful mind superimposed it, projected it onto that light to give it authority ... an authority i would find it hard to disobey.

Just one quote from Eckhart tolle;

"Spiritual seekers look for self realisation or enlightenment in the future. To be a seeker implies that you need the future. If this is what you believe, it becomes true for you: You will need time until you realise you don't need time to be who you are."

And a quote from 'A course in miracles';

"The temple of the holy spirit is not a body, it is relationship."

 

Jesus said; "First seek the kingdom of heaven."

...and i think Eckhart expands upon this when he sais this;

"To have your attention in the Now is not a denial of what is needed in your life. It is recognising what is primary (inner awakening). Then you can deal with what is secondary (outer purpose) with great ease.
It is not saying "I'm not dealing with things anymore because there is only the now". No. Find what is primary first, and make the Now into your friend, not your enemy. Aknowledge it, honour it.
When the now is the foundation and primary focus of your life, then your life unfolds with ease."

May i also add an interpretation ... ego isn't personal, it's a conditioning that everyone suffers from. So don't take the effects of your own ego or the ego of others personally; there is a love and freedom and forgiveness in realising this. Finding this love is primary ...and it's very healing. Find this love and the things you need to deal with in your life will lose their 'heaviness', or 'seriousness' and become easier to deal with.

 

Liquid,
I like your eckhart tolle quote, it helped me understand the now a bit more!
I was reading the quote on the ego and found it helpfull as well but am reminded of some individuals I have met that whole heartedly try and squash their ego, thinking they can demolish it. However as I think Tolle says, you can't leave your ego. But if you condition your ego to not be so super ego then what is left? Certainly their is something because you cannot leave the ego, its always present correct? sorry little off topic

 

Well it doesn't say anywhere in his books, but i'm sure Eckhart would say that you CAN leave your ego ... or rather that your ego will just dissolve through heightened 'present moment awareness' ... through a heightened awareness of your true self, which is life itself. If you knew you were life itself you wouldn't be so afraid of dying ...of your physical form dying, of your self image dying.
Ego, is a false sense of self brought about by our amazing capacity to think about ourselves; a self that is afraid of death and that is consumed with compulsive thinking. Yet death is natural ...all forms die. So ego is in conflict with nature. Humans spend alot of time preoccupied and worrying about death ... even when death isn't immediately threatening, humans still worry about it, it's a kind of phobia or insanity. Sure animals don't want do die either, we know that by the way an antilope runs from the cheetah, or the water buffalo struggles for hours to escape the clutches of the crocodile but they don't seem to spend time overly worrying about it like humans do. A human would very likely not cross a crocodile infested river like the herds of buffalo do, ... even a large group of people together in a herd. They would be too terrified. But the buffalo still do it because their minds are not preoccupied with thinking and fear. A human would be worrying about it long before they even got to the river. The buffalo lives in the moment and the human is all over the place worrying about everything. It's not to say we don't have an instinct for survival, we as a human species, like the animals, do. But we are mind obsessed and that is ego. Our minds put us out of touch with reality.

I'd suggest you read some Eckart tolle, i'm not too good at trying to explain this stuff but i hope that's made things a little clearer.