Oh god....

For what it's worth, VG, I genuinely do believe it. Fair enough, show a little interest, let him know that if he did lose interest in the girl there's something else available. But on the whole, helping people to cheat is something you do to strangers who you have no interest in meeting again. Doing it to someone you like and have affection for is not only unpleasant, but also risks a lot of unnecessary fall-out. How are you gonna deal when the guy says "thanks very much, yeah, no, we should totally do this again some time" and a week later announces that they're getting married?

 

I don't want to hurt her emotionally--or physically, for that matter--so, naturally, I want what's best for both of them, but, being me, I am biased and want to be with either one of them.

 

Friends must ALWAYS be put first. Lovers come and go, friends (if they're good) are always there.
Maybe me and my friends are too old fashioned, but we'd never take each other's partners, not even after they had broken up.

 

Forgive my cynicism, we are in a thread talking about high school kids, so maybe I should pretend Santa still exists. From BigAls side of 21, it looks like the 7 year itch is about boredom, from my side it seems more about protecting the gene pool while making babies, that is once a couple has a couple kids, both with the wife and hubby, a lot of those rules regarding monogamy go out the window.

I'm going by what I see, not what I do. My current guy, I've been with for 5 years, neither of us really care if the other has something on the side, the main reason I don't is well cos I can only be bothered doing it once a week now ( I know TMI ) .

Both in Gay and Straight, keeping monogamous has more to do with being a good match and having matching sex drives, not some silly promises

The amount of secret bi guys out there that are married / ltr girlfriend and she doesnt know....Oy!, at 20 yrs of age it might only be 5/10% of them, by the time they start edging 40.......well lets just say it doesnt stay at 5/10%. So I harbour a little bit of resentment there as back when younger I thought the antigay thing was mostly about strict upbringings, now It seems that it was more about them protecting their secret bi stuff all along, and a lot of the crap and stupid comments I had to put up with came from "straight" guys that suck more dick than I do.

I'm not anti-monogamy, people can do whatever they want, but saying one is monogamous and one actually being monogamous are two very different things.


Anyway, I'm ranting again, this whinge doesnt help BigAls issues.

I'll end with this, as I don't get to say it out loud very often: A lot of Staright people are so full of shit

 

Tsk, tsk. See what youve gotten yourself into? Love is clearly an attrocity against the realm! The Queen advises against it.

 

That is true, and I support that statement--yes, I know, I'm a hypocrite for saying that--but I am not sure Jesse would hate me too much. I would just be taking an opportunity. Besides, no one besides two people should know--Brandon and me. I don't think that announcing something like that would be very good for someone in high school. Our society, for the most part, just doesn't accept it.

 

Ugh, yes, fine, okay, the "Secret bi guy". But that's quite obviously NOT what the OP is looking for in this guy. How happy is he going to be being the secret bi guy's bit on the side (or one of several) when he's clearly got feelings for this guy?

Only if you have no morals. For the rest of us, monogamy isn't dependent totally on the absence of temptation. A perfect match relationship is only solid until another, more perfect match shows up, unless a person feels some obligation to follow through on his promises and not to stray just because it is easy. Same way that you can't claim not to be racist if you've only ever been exposed to people of your own race.

But then, that's probably just the rebellion against the anti-Catholic upbringing talking.

 

I'm not sure I have morals, that is, not sure what that means.

If its true love, and yet people are so ready to dump their partners over casual encounters, was it ever true love in the first place?

Or to put it another way, can It every be true love with someone your are having sex with?

Most of us go to our graves with the greatest loves or our lives being our parents or our kids (well, not our kids, but you know) or long term best friend

 

"Moral: noun: a rule you live by even when no-one's around." (Travis Morrison)

In this case, morality is what means that you don't consider yourself faithful purely because you've never had the opportunity to cheat. So someone who is monogamous because there's nothing better around, and cheats as soon as there IS something better around, then that person was never monogamous; they just had limited options. Certainly, that person is not representative of monogamy to the extent that their behaviour should be used to judge its validity.

No. No, probably not. Although where you've gotten "true love" from, when I can't think of a meaningful distinction between love and true love other than that the latter sounds a little more naïve and pathetic (fairly meaningful when you're arguing that it is indeed naïve and pathetic), I don't know.

Poignant question, obvious answer: yes. Yes it can.

Most of us go to our graves with the greatest loves or our lives being our parents or our kids (well, not our kids, but you know) or long term best friend[/QUOTE]

And you would know this having not only gone to the grave, but having gone to it a large enough number of times to be statistically significant?

 

god just talk to the guy. seriously. you really don't even know for sure whether he's into guys or not. trust me. take it from someone who actually has a little experience with straight/curious/experimental guys. if he was both or either gay or interested, the chances are he would have let you know by now. just talk to him and ask him, it doesn't mean you have to jeopardize your friendship with him or betray how you really feel for him, just lead the conversation to that area and ask him once again. as for him saying he's bisexual, it may have just been a heat of the moment kind of thing. i know i've allowed myself to momentarily suspend belief and say things i don't totally believe in or feel. find out if he's into guys first before you do anything. for everything else, all i can say is i know the feeling, as a warning though if he makes it implicit that he's straight and is not into guys don't push it, as much as it hurts and as much as it feels as though you deserve it just leave it be, you would only hurt him as well as yourself. "straight" or "bisexual" guys are generally quite a tricky business to get caught up in. they're very easy to fall for and as a consequence it's very easy to be misled into thinking (from inaccurately interpreting their actions and the value of what they say) that they are into you. quite frankly none of this necessarily means anything:
"1) He said he was bi--he may have been joking, but he still said it.

2) He put his arm around me--like I said, I can't completely remeber where.

3) He always seemed to like me whenever he talked to me; we got along very easily.

4) We were already fooling around by the time I'd known him for an hour. I was already calling him names, and he would just laugh. We were both joking, but he didn't seem to mind.

5) He was--I guess you would call it prancing--around the entire area. Things just seemed to flow with us.

I don't know what to do-- ask him about it and possibly develop a relationship or just let it be. When he hugged me, I felt secure. Safe."

don't get down, just don't kid yourself. i feel like i've had this sort of experience alot of times with similar sounding types of guys since i turned 13 6 years ago.

hope things work out for you,
cheersx

 

Personally, I just wouldn't. It's a friends boyfriend after all, and as someone else quoted earlier, lovers come and go.

If you feel any guilt whatsoever, than avoid ever bringing it up. There's a great chance of hurting your mate. Either way, there's plenty more fish in the sea, it sucks but he is spoken for it seems.

But then it's your life man! Do what you feel is right.

Lastly, in my experience, any male that has put there arm around me, 99% of the time, have eventually tried it on and spoken about their sexuality. Obviously not conclusive enough to say this guy is gay, but boys will be boys. They don't put their arms around each other. But maybe that's just what it's like round this way.

 

Be that as it may, I talked to my friend, who also knows Brandon. She said that he was just joking around, because, apparently, he does this kind of stuff all the time, and he is an "r-tard."

Obviously, the whole "r-tard" (and yes, she pronounces it like that) is an inside joke, and I'm not sure what to believe. Most people I know don't do that. Meaning, they either don't joke around at all, or they clarify their sexuality before/after/before and after the joke.

What do you all think?

 

I think he's bi, and probably really fake. I say wait till you have feelings for someone till you're older, and can read people better.

 

Any more words of advice, anyone?

 

Do them both. *Thumbs up*