I am a Crossdresser

I dunno if this post will provoke a hostile reaction from women, but here goes..

I am a guy, I'm 17, and for about as long as I can remember I have fantasized about being a girl. That's not to say that I am unhappy as a male. On the contrary, I have an awesome life, an awesome girlfriend, and would never even think of getting a sexchange or anything like that. But every so often I just get an urge to become female, to dress and act like a girl, do the things that girls do, even go out with a guy. The best word I've found to describe my case is 'bigendered', though I'm not sure that is completely accurate.

Ever since I was about 8 or 9, when these feelings really started to come on strongly, I would slowly accumulate women's clothing from a variety of places (mom's closet, sympathetic friends, thrift stores...) until the point where my collection became pretty sizeable, leading me to freak out, renounce my ways, and dispose of everything, only to start the whole process over a few months later. If my parents ever had any idea of what was going on, they never said anything to me about it.

Finally, after doing some internet research, I came to realize that there is nothing wrong with having these desires (considering there are thousands of websites dedicated to the topic I would even go so far as to say it is fairly common) and have finally accepted myself for who I am.

But so now, what I'd really like to do is to get in touch with and develop my female personality. I want to go beyond just wearing women's clothing and actually learn how to walk and talk like a woman.

Like I said earlier, I am perfectly happy being a guy, and for 90% of the time think nothing of changing that. But for the other 10% of the time, I would really like to be able to connect with my female personality on a more profound level. I want to really develop my female mind, and be able to radiate that feminity and grace that almost every women I have ever met is able to do.

I was just wondering if there were any girls here who had possible advice, comments, or anything that could help. What I really want to know is, is it possible for a man to really learn how to think and feel like a woman, or is it a hopeless pursuit?

 

Read Cosmo,

 

Well kudos to you for at least admitting it to yourself. But think, if you have a feminine side you like to express already, I'd say your brain is already more female then the average male brain.

But I have a question, when you dress like a woman, does it give you any kind of kink or arousal or does it just make you feel better and happier mentally?

 

dude this thread needs pics 8)

 

Ok, some of the comments here are messed up....

1, do not read cosmo. It won't make you feel like a woman, it'll make you feel like a bimbo.

2, I have a friend who is a straight male, married for 14 years w/ 2 kids, and he started a women's social group online explaining that he was a cross dresser and wanted to hang out with women. We've all become great friends, and have a lot of fun together. Point is, he explained to me once that he tried starting a group for other cross dressers, but, since they were all really straight men, they would just end up talking about guy stuff the whole time. So, if you really want to get in touch with your feminine side, it might be a good idea to find some female friends who will be accepting of you so that you can hang around them on occasion. As to how to deal with this with your girlfriend, that depends. My friend told his wife, after 14 years of her being unaware of his secret desire, and she is accepting of him, though she doesn't want to see him dressed as a female. His other friends are a straight couple where the man cross dresses and his wife actually picks out his clothes and does his make up for him.

I don't know your girlfriend, or how serious you two are at 17, but if you want to incorporate your feminine side into your life, including hanging out with other girls, you're probably going to have to tell her at some point.

-Kate

 

What I really want to know is, is it possible for a man to really learn how to think and feel like a woman, or is it a hopeless pursuit?

My opinion is that it's probably a hopeless pursuit, but I could be wrong.

Nonetheless, this still reminds me of the lyrics to an old song ...

... you are what you are,
and you ain't what you ain't.

If you feel happy with yourself and your inclinations are harmless to everyone concerned, then go for it. Don't let anyone tell you that you can't be what you are.

 

Both. Obviously when I'm aroused, the sexual aspect of it is stronger. But at other times, it's more of a just a feeling of wanting to be feminine. I think in the long run it probably ends up being more sexual than anything, and I suppose you could say it doesn't come down to anything more than a fetish. But still, even if that's just what it is, I'd like to be able to take advantage of that fetish to explore my feminine side and a develop a whole new aspect of my personality, instead of just being a guy who gets off wearing lingerie and nothing more.

 

That aint a song thats POPEYE THE SAILOR MAN duh

 

to me it sounds like what you are seeking is understanding, and that does come with experience. most of the time today it is nearly taboo to understand the opposite gender. some people (myself included) really want to understand who we are, men, women, children, society etc. if you want to understand women you have to reach further back, at how humanity started, at how we evolved to survive together. cosmo sucks, watch national geographic/ discovery science/ history international. the womens (and men's) issues forums here are pretty great for coed conversations, and real discussions. i think we can all benefit from being it touch with our humanity.
you could learn to crochet. or plant a garden or something. men arent really given an outlet for their feminine side, its harder for some guys than others. gender taboos are so dumb.

 

It's a song by John Prine. You wouldn't know that ... "duh" is the extent of your knowledge of the matter.

 

Nobody knows that old ass song cuz ur 44:conehead:

 

I'm impressed that you figured that out. You must be smarter than you appear ... not that that would be very difficult.

 

When I was 22 I was bet $200. to dress as a girl and walk on Hollywood Blvd., I accepted the bet.I was dressed in a miniskirt, kneehigh Black Leather boots, and a sleeveless Blouse. A friend of mine did my makeup, and hair. When I walked on Hollywood I felt like a very real girl. There's nothing to your feelings, but you might be hideing some gay tendensies. Good luck

 

....signed, Dear Abby.

 

I wouldn't say I'm gay. Perhaps bi-sexual, but I'm not sure that's even the right word for it either. The thing is, when I'm in "male-mode", I feel entirely straight. On the other hand, when I'm in feeling girlish, or desiring to be more feminine, I actually feel more attracted towards guys, and frankly don't think that much about getting down with a girl.

I suppose some would say that's evidence of repressed homosexual tendencies, and that my desire to crossdress is really just a desire to express hidden sexual feelings. And erhaps it is, though I don't really see anything particularly unhealthy about it, at least for my case. In fact, I see it as a plus. But regardless of whether it's just sexual or spiritual or whatever, I would like to go further in exploring the feminine mystique.

Like I said earlier, I don't want to just be a guy in a dress for that 10% of the time I feel girlish. I want to be able to become and feel and think as feminine as possible. I believe all men have a feminine side, just like all women have a masculine side. What I want to do is give a voice and a personality to that feminine side, instead of just repressing it or keeping it sexual. I see my desires as an opportunity to really explore a world that few other men have the desire or chance to explore.

I guess ultimately what it comes down to is this: I want to use my desires to crossdress to gain insight and enrich my life, instead of just keeping them part of a secret fetish that I pull out of the closet from time to time whenever I'm feeling horny. Does that make sense?

 

yes, it does. don't listen to stupid people, regardless of the 'mode' you are in at the time. best of luck to you.

 

I agree with finding some female friends you can be girly with. Good luck to you.

The asshats in this thread should move along.

 

That's the one, Spud. Thank you.

green_revolution, the point I was trying to make is that you should be completely free to be whatever you are, and not be hassled about it. I'm pretty sure you got what I was saying, but I want to make sure I didn't come across wrong.

 

will you marry me? 8)

 

I agree with the option to find some girls to pal around with. I can't think of anything other than that,, maybe talk to people with the same tendencies. They migt have more insight to what you can do.