All right, read it through before you call me a fucked-up weirdo. I'm trying to determine whether I am or not. I'm 17 years old. I have known this girls parents since I was born, and I met her when she was a newborn. Last year, when she was 9, her family spent more time with my family then we had in the past, and she and I became good friends. I thought nothing of this, and it didn't strike me as unusual. Her and her family moved away for a while and I'd nearly forgotten about them, when suddenly they moved back to the area. She would come over to the house after school to hang out (all in the family room, never alone together) and I would help her with her homework, and we'd talk. As we became closer friends, I was shocked by the strength of my own feelings. Now let me be clear--there were no sexual or even romantic feelings, but i felt as though we were best of friends and that I'd do just about anything for her, if she asked me. For christmas i got her just what she'd asked for, even though it wasn't really in the price range i'd think of for a kids christmas present. If her brother hit her with a snowball, I'd feel inexplicably angered and always quick to jump to her defense. If her parents put her in trouble for something I'd feel compelled to comfort her and say kind words, or put in a good word for her with her parents (hey, i saw the whole thing happen, it was her brother that instigated the whole argument, it's not her fault.. et cetera et cetera). now her and her family are once again not living near my family, through unrelated circumstances. Here's what troubles me: since she's left, I can't get her out of my mind. Every day, many many times a day, I see her face in my mind, i hear kind things she's said to me echo-ing around my brain. I don't feel sexually towards her, as she's simply physically too young to be attractive in that way. I feel like I'd like to spend my whole life by her side, that when she's older i'd like to marry her. I love her. With all of my heart, everything in me, I love this girl. Is that wrong? Does that make me a creepo? is forming this friendship and bond with her some kind of 'grooming' thing like i've read about? Should I just try and keep myself away from her? our families are bound to cross paths again, most likely soon. they visit us and we visit them regularly. I can't help but think it would hurt her, if I just acted as if I no longer cared about her. I listen to what she has to say, and she can tell. I care about her feelings and if i acted as though i'd never cared for her, she would experience it as me suddenly becoming cold and unresponsive to her friendship. But i want nothing but the best for her and if I thought that's what I must do, I would. When i'm around her i have to keep a constant effort to make my words sound as platonic as possible--'g'bye, see you after school tomorrow' just wants to pop out of my mouth as 'i love you, beautiful. I can't wait to see you tomorrow!' again, the feelings are not sexual. I long to wake up and see her next to me, to wake her up with breakfast in bed, and make her smile with some sweet comment about how wonderful she looks, then go out together and spend all day playing outdoors, sledding or swimming or throwing paper airplanes or some similar simple pleasure. The lack of any sexual desire, or any arousal at her presence, is the only thing that makes me think perhaps I'm not all fucked up. Somebody tell me your thoughts?
I can't tell you much, since I've never been in love and chances are I'll never be. Yet, I'd say that you better keep this just as it is: a really strong friendship. She's much younger than you. This is not a problem when people are both grownups (I myself dated a 21 years older guy). You're almost 18, ok, even thought you're quite young, but she's only 9/10. She's WAY TOO young. You shouldn't keep yourself away from her, and even less pretend that you don't care about her, but don't take things any further than a friendship.
Hi, There's nothing wrong with what you're feeling right now.. you're a normal human being who fall in love, and that's a very nice feeling. You become a better person whenever you're together, and becomes positive in things. And like what nateman said, just stay friends with her.. and nothing will get wrong. Anyway, you seem like too young for a relationship.. how old are you? and your special friend?
What is the age difference between you two? I don't think you sound like a creeper, it sounds like you love her as a father would love his daughter.
This is somehow a very sweetie story. The idea that you have a desire to be with her and want to protect her is touching. The fact that you have no sexual intensions towards her is reassuring. I don’t think you’re ‘grooming’ her (in my non professional opinion) as they seem to do things to satisfy their sick desires – you seem to genuinely care for her. Although, since she is such a young age, I would advise caution. Your bond for her seems strong and could one day develop into a more physical nature. That is fine – but only if she is of legal age. Be patient – wait. If you feel keeping away from her will hurt her, then be with her. But DO NOT ever touch her! Always be aware of this. Keep her company, be her friend, make her laugh make her smile – with hands always by your side, and keep at lest 1 meter distance from her at all times. Do you think this is reasonable? You must remember, although you may not have sexual thoughts towards her at the moment – things might be seen differently by someone else watching you two together, a family member, a friend. There maybe misunderstandings and things can get very complicated for all those involved. For now keep your feelings secret and keep your distance. Btw have you tried spending time with girls your own age? Try spending some time with girls your own age to get some perspective and see where your feelings lie. Is it because you are not spending enough time with girls your age that you are developing feelings towards this girl? I don’t mean to sound rude by asking, I’m just curious – is it something you have considered?
oh, how come I didn't noticed that maybe I was just struck by his story :leaving: Anyway, knowing their age gaps.. what?!? Now maybe that makes him think if he's a creep.. well.. then, I'll stick to my advice.. just stay friends with her.. and wait until you two gets older
maybe she's like the sister you never had? edit: I dunno though, I mean breakfast in bed? lavishing compliments on her? that doesnt really sound that innocent...she's a 10 year old girl perhaps it's some strange instinct that you're consciously unaware of to "prune" this girl for the future?! I think it would be wise for you to keep your distance from her and refocus this energy.
