lies in 4 month relationship

Discussion in 'Love and Sex' started by roamingfree, Feb 18, 2009.

  1. roamingfree

    roamingfree Member

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    hey i'm new to this forum but i've got a problem and am hoping to find some insight from others...

    i have a boyfriend who i've been with for 4 months now. recently, as in the past 2 weeks, he's been on hook up sites for men. He's already come out as bi to me a while ago and we are in a monogamous relationship. But these gay hook up sites are worrisome to me. He tried making plans to go to sex parties, to "perform" and what not. Once I found out, he denied any intention to actually go through with hooking up with someone else. After promising to discontinue interaction with these guys, I found dirty text messages between him and two other guys.

    He says it's all a mental thing, something i'll probably never understand, but how much of a chance is there that he really can drop messaging guys to hook up with? How am i supposed to know if i'm what he really wans? i dont know if anyone has dealt with something like this. I'm really hurt and worried that a future in this relationship might not be possible. Thanks
    :cheers2:
     
  2. Mothman

    Mothman Senior Member

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    If he says he is bi and he is texting guys and going on gay hook up sites...you may want to make an exit. If he is sneaking behind your back (likely) he could end up giving you an std on top of hurting you emotionally.
     
  3. roamingfree

    roamingfree Member

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    i was hoping i wouldn't get these responses but i agree with them and accept them. i'd thought similar outcomes, however, i guess i needed to hear it from others.
     
  4. White_Horse_Mescalito

    White_Horse_Mescalito ""

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    once the lies start ... they never stop.. bail while you can.. it only gets harder as it goes on
     
  5. wrathofjade

    wrathofjade Member

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    He is gay and using you as a beard. Jump ship now.
     
  6. coffeescent

    coffeescent Member

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    I agree with every advice already given to you.
    If he lies you better be sure he cheats. :mad: Dump him before you get hurt! And I'm not telling you this cuz I'm "not in your shoes and it's easier said than done". I'm telling you this cuz it's what I would do, too.
     
  7. roamingfree

    roamingfree Member

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    thank you all i really needed to get some advice. honesty is fundamental in a relationship, i believe. i hold honesty very high in virtue. i know there is no such thing as a perfect person, but there has to be a line drawn somewhere.:confused:
     
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