Not everybody likes you

contrary milady. i don't even know who you are.

 

that must be terrible for you

 

i'm not even sure how i get out of bed in the mornings.

 

it will get easier for you, i promise!

 

I disagree. I don't like you


In fact, I hate you as much as I hate the rest of these douche bags

 

fuck all you fucking pricks who think i'm a asshole. just because you're right doesn't mean you have the right to make me cry. or, maybe get a little misty eyed....no, that's still a bit much, too. fuck it, i'm gonna drink more coffee. you people mean nothing!!! NOTHING!!!

 

I'm mildly amused

 

Fuck You for being amuzed!

 

my daughter threw up twice last night. you want me to bag up the nasty towels and mail them to you?

 

Why haven't you got them in the mail yet????? They are going to lose their freshness!!!!

 

it's sunday, man.

 

those fucking religious postal workers.... don't they know god is a scam only to make money???

 

i wouldn't worry about the freshness. this is child vomit. hence it's bright pink, sickly sweet smelly and particularly potent. dave scrubbed the carpet so well last night that you can't see it at all, but every now and then we get a fresh wiff.

 

ooooooooo I hope you bagged the towels right away and stuffed them in the fridge


that will keep it so fresh it will be like it just happened

 

you can send them C.O.D. again, as per the request of my mailman


he really likes my 'payments'

 

yep, I love you too.

 

this isn't about you