No oral sex for me

My girlfriend really hates going down on me. She has told me that her first of many past abusive boyfriends made her suck his dick forcefully a lot and made her feel awful by doing it. Well, now she's with me and she told me I'm the first guy do dosen't make her feel like shit but the fact remains, she remembers the awful times of "giving" head to her ex each time of the few times she goes down on me. I have been very sensitive to the issue but even after 4 months of us being together, she's still very apprehensive. I feel frustrated because it's my stance that what she went through was in the past (around 4 years ago) and with another person and I can't do anything to make it more comfortable/ desirable for her.

 

I don't think its fair to ask her to do it, I mean its more fun if she is willing. Maybe she will come around maybe she won't. Its not that important, as long as you love her thats what is. If you don't then maybe you shouldn't be with her.

 

Sure it's fair for him to ask for head, but it's also fair for her to decline.

If he won't accept her for who and what she is, then it's only fair that he move on.

 

Go down her often and until she is satisfied. It's not just because I believe cunnilingus is the answer to every relationship question but also because maybe you will start to overwrite those bad memories with better ones and if not after a few months you'd probably guilt her into it with the many orgasms you are giving her.

 

Don't force it, being forced to do something sexually isn't something you just get over. When she feels comfortable doing it, then she'll do it. Until then, you shouldn't keep bringing it up.

 

Dump her shes useless to men

 

Don't listen to the dumb fuck above me, don't dump her, help her through it, and wait until she's comfortable doing it.

 

i was with my now ex for a year and 9 months and i never went down on him.. i really hated the idea (i still do) and whenever i came close to doing it, it made me feel really sick. yes, it really irritated him and it annoyed/upset me that i couldnt pleasure him how he wanted, and in the end we had a few arguments about it (not huge, but still) and im pretty sure it was a helping factor in his dumping me.

i dont know what to suggest, other than give it more time, maybe spend more nakey time together (not sexy time, just nakey time) and explore each other more? if you get me.

dont force things on her though.. whenever i felt as though my ex was forcing me do something, it was the worst feeling ever.

 

actually this is a very good post. I have the same issue with my women. What are we to do if your partner never wants to do it? Do we really dump that person over this?

 

Your girlfriend's experience with her ex is part of her. Just like the small scar she got in 2nd grade. Because of it, she doesn't like giving head. She knows that you're a different kind of guy than her ex, but its still a part of her. And she's not going to change soon, if ever. She's a fine woman, who probably feels bad about not pleasing you, but who will reserve giving head to special occasions. On which occasions, her fun will be your pleasure, not the act that gives you pleasure.

That's the woman she is.

Do you want to stay with a woman like that?

There are plenty of women who like giving head, but aren't as nice, in other ways, as your girlie is.

You can't "fix" her, 1) because she isn't broken 2) you aren't trained in trauma reduction therapy (or whatever the shrinks call it) 3) making your relationship about "fixing her problem" will kill the relationship.

I repeat, Do you want to stay with a woman who doesn't like giving head? Its a straight forward question. Do you want a woman with that hair color?

It works out better if you choose girlfriends rather than fix them. "Sorry, we're two fine people who aren't a match" is an honorable position to take, but only if you make a choice.

She is who she is.
Do you want her as she is (not as she could be/should be/could have been) or have you found that the two of you aren't a match.

P.S. If a BJ is that important to you, yes it is shallow. But you have a right to be shallow, just as she has a right to not like giving head.
ARE THE TWO OF YOU A MATCH?

 

Suck my salty balls you fag lolLolOlOlollllllllllll

 

I have that same issue with my fiancee(sp?). After dating her for 3 years now, she's finally confessed that she dislikes giving me oral. She has gone to the point to where she's told me that she dislikes sex. She tells me that she finds oral humilating, which just makes me sad. I love her so much, but I'm just a very horny male that can't help liking sex. It fucking kills me that she don't like sex. I hope I never get to the point of cheating on her and dumping her, since I love her so much. I'm just so sexually frustrated!

 

as a little unexperienced lady, i've never been excited about giving head. it just seems so vulgar to me. i also just don't want a penis in my mouth... but anyways yeah you need to just get over it if she's not comfortable with it, because she's been through some serious shit.

 

Your maturity and respect really shine. NOT! Grow up!
She obviously has been emotionally and physically abused and this will take time to heal. Maybe never. True love transcends such trivial things when one looks at the big picture. You don't just abandon someone because they've been hurt or need support. A true friend/lover will support and stand by and offer a helping hand. Maybe one day in your future you will learn that.

 

But, isn't the guy who's telling another guy to suck his balls the real fag? Man, if you get any dumber you'll need a helmet.

 

If we extract the really ignorant and stupid replies from this post there still remains a very interesting question that has not been answered in my opinion. Sex and sexual satisfaction is a very primal thing. It doesn’t matter what gender we are talking about. If one partner wants something and the other doesn’t want to give it. Does this not setup the opportunity for resentment to set in? Ultimately where does this lead?

As stupid as it sounds, maybe if one does and the other does not. Maybe it is time to move on.

 

a littke humour cant hurt the situation..what are you?the fucking relationship guru ....it depends on wether she compinsates in other areas.if its even worth the possibly long and extremely unfair wait that this kid could be in for..what if he misses his head getting window..are you gonna suck his dick....she sounds like a drama queen..he should at least concider that she might just be a frigid spoiled little princess and look elsewhere

 

again..some of us laugh at the majority of this shit cause we have lives...fuckin oversensitive...

 

and yet again...its a joke...this is HIPFORUMS ..its funny that one guy tells us all that his lady wont blow him and another dude says ah thats too bad,listen while your down there telling me your problems could you lick my balls...thats funny..cmon...

 

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