People still go to church? I remember when back when I was a youngin, I remember going to church once and remember seeing this really old man going up to get communion with a cough drop stuck to his butt. At the time, I couldn't possibly find anything to be more hilarious. I, of course, was probably around the age of 8 so.....
Our preacher used to call the kids who were misbehaving out by name. Damn little towns and everybody knowing everybody.
there was a time I had consumed a bottle of Jack Daniels the night before and went to church the next morning with my parents and puked all over the place. Smelled like rotten puked up jack daniels. very unmistakable. I was 15
had a preacher who had a ventriloquism dummy (actually preached good accepting open theology too) a magician preacher and a woman who was, and is an outspoken opponent to publicly praying in tongues. one day, we had a guest in the church, old woman, had a pet parrot, and only two of her fingers weren't missing anything (her parrot removed parts of her fingers) parrot woman starts praying, loud, in tongues fat opponent of tongues woman, FALLS to the floor, and starts jabbering, and rolling, like, fuckin regan in exorcit
earlier in life we went to a church were the preacher went senile and preached the last three chapters of Revelation for 3 years straight. No wonder I'm ready for the end of the fucking world
