Voluntary death

I don't think you grow old and weak, and hang on to the last thread of a life that no longer serves you. I think you practice a happy, willful death.

Assuming I have no children, I might plan my death at 45. That's a good age. Such a death is only right for those of us who believe in no right or wrong. And who don't want to live a life of continuous approval-seeking and the false hope of avoiding suffering.

A voluntary death would require some kind of ritual, somehow (like Yukio Mishima's harakiri in 1970). I don't know exactly why. It could not be an act of bourgeois convenience. By ritual death alone is the meaning of the biological process of life (which, in individualistic economies, we fool ourselves to be a unique part of) restored.

 

So that would mean you start convincing yourself you'll be dead at 45 and start living a sexdrugsnrocknroll life accordingly?

Or do you mean suicide?..

I'm kinda lost.

 

The opposite. I wouldn't consider it suicide. In an interview, Mishima (a Japanese writer of Samuraic lineage that committed sepukku in 1970 after an attempted coup d'etat [he had a private militia]) said, and I don't disagree- "The western concept of suicide is like losing. But in harakiri, sometimes you win."

I think planning my death would make me live life more purposefully, rather than hedonistically. It would make me stop looking for happiness in the wrong places.

It's a simple acknowledgment of death as a biological process- like defecating. We don't shit in our pants, we bring order to defecation. Likewise, we can bring relative order to death and be an active part in it.

Of course, everything I'm saying is only partially correct.

 

Seppuku was committed when you had made an unforgivable mistake, though, right?

 

Or when you were captured by an enemy army.

But I don't want to bring Japanese culture too much into this. Seppukku, obviously is not a part of my culture (I don't have a culture)-

So, it's an issue of personal meaning. Although, if no one shares that meaning with me- it'll likely remain a speculative idea.

I'm wondering if a willful death can fit into the western tradition of individualism- if it can be done, as an individual act and still retain its purpose.

 

My uncle apparently did that. He was surrounded by Serbian soldiers, and he didn't want to be caught and tortured. He had a gun and he killed himself.
I think it takes a lot of courage to do such a thing. But I can't imagine what goes on in one's head right before he pulls the trigger....

 

I already have planned to kill myself before getting too old.. and like.. if I reach the point of needing a nurse to take care of me all the time to get up, eat, wash.. if I have to wear diapers, stuff like that - I mean I won't even let it begin. I think I wanna die old but kinda young-old if you see what I mean. Like mostly healthy, and happy. I'll just od on some drug.

 

Tremendous clarity, I would imagine. You had a brave uncle.

 

I imagine going out on heroin would be magnificent.

 

In some respects, greater awareness of death might bring clarity and alertness to our lives - imagine if we were born knowing the exact date of our death and our wristwatches were actually set to coundown...

 

Hmm. I could probably turn that into a short story.

Do you mind?

 

I think wanting to die comes with total despair or total bliss/feeling of perfection - no need to finish/achieve anything.. like ready to go. Or despair - feeling that.. there's no hope at all and can't deal. I hope that when I wanna die it will be when I feel perfect not hopeless.

 

Great post, actually.

It's a matter of whether one lives honestly or in bad faith.

 

I want to die quite frequently. But planning it, rather than doing it impulsively- brings me out of meaningless despair and into purposefulness.

 

Now the idea of ending it at 45 is already in your head, right.. It might feel comforting at moments of despair to think that "This'll all be over by that time."

 

I tried to kill myself before. Not counting the times when I was poisoned by Zoloft, I wanted to die because I felt like I couldn't deal with life anymore and that there seemed to be absolutely nothing that could possibly happen that would bring me out of despair. Very very selfish moments when I hurt people who loved me immensely, completely without realizing it because I caved in.. I was in my dark cave, with thick, cold walls.

 

oh and I must mention the reasons why I would get in these suicidal states are unexplainable. I think I was just.. maybe still can get.. in-sane.

 

That would be great Mr MR!

Cherea - honestly or in bad faith - could you say a little more?

 

By my own definition: a) the hedonistic/nihilist cycle of avoiding pain and seeking pleasure is living in bad faith- because it is not honest enough to welcome an all too-unavoidable pain heroically- it is living as though pain can be avoided in a continual cycle between the unbearable boredom of purposeless living and momentarily pleasing distractions (which augment latter suffering);

b) fixed right-wrong ideals are also bad faith- the hope that if you live virtuously you will gain something of intrinsic value: be it love, riches, heaven, renown, etc. That is dishonest because all of those things perish- all reward perishes.

P.S. I'm not advocating a lack of engagement. If anything, intimacy and work are what gives life its meaning.

Mojo- that's exactly right. But it's not written in stone. The two things that could redeem my sense of purpose in life would be offspring, or involvement in the affairs of the state.

In other words, it would have to be something that transcends me and makes me responsible for things outside of myself. Living a private life (and the economic structure of the world currently almost dictates it), for me personally- inevitably leads to the idea of death.

Penny- thx for sharing!

 

About a year ago I posted a thread concerning an organization called the voluntary human extinction movement whose members have dedicated themselves to the extinction of the human race

No violence just "live long and die out"

Hotwater