He lies!!!

My problem is that my boyfriend friggin' lies his ass off and it's really hard for me to deal with. I freak out because I can tell when he's lying and i've always been right. Now, it's usually not a big deal. A few times it was porn (He told me when we started dating that he never watches porn, I was all he needed blah blah blah bullshit) Then it's on his computer and he tries to lie his way out of it even though I know it's him. Now he's been texting this girl on his cell phone. The messages aren't anything bad but he lies about it. Even though I admitted to snooping he still tries to lie. It makes no sense because he's obviously been caught. How can he lie? How can he lie when I read the messages myself?? Why not just fess up? I'm so sick of it. I've given him so many chances to tell the truth but he just continues lying to me about it. As if i'm a fucking moron and will just ignore what i've seen and believe him.
It's not like he's cheating on me. I know he can't possibly be. I just want him to stop fucking lying!

 

Ditch his ass. If he can't be honest, he can't be trusted.
Does he have a pathological disorder? If not, then there's no excuse...

 

I guess it would be too hard for me to just ditch someone who i've been with for nearly 2 years and love with all my heart. I just wish I could change that one thing about him. It's so hard because I love him so much. I just want us to be able to talk to each other about anything and no more lies. Fucking men.

 

Is dumping this liar going to be easier in 2 more years? or 2 more months?
Or are you going to let "its hard" force you to spend your life with someone you can't trust.

Doing stuff that is hard gives the greatest reward.

Loosing this liar will give you the reward of treating yourself like you deserve a man who will tell you the truth.

Grow some ovaries and dump this loser.

 

C'mon now weetziebat, let's not classify all guys in the category of your b/f. I've never needed to lie about what I was up to with my g/f's because I was never doing anything to jeoprodize our relationship. There's plenty of guys out there who play by the rules.

It does seem weird that he's texting another girl and lying about it. Why lie if it was a text he had to make for whatever reason? By him lying, he's making himself look guilty. Those texts might be innocent now, but they usually progress into full blown naughtiness. Lying will get him nowhere. The more he lies, the easier it becomes to him. He's disrespecting you. He's losing your trust. Time to knock some sense into him with a good old fashioned ultimatum. Catch him again and it's over. If that's not a good enough hint for him to straighten up, then maybe it just wasn't meant to be after all. Peace.

 

Yeah, um, I've been through this. I dated a liar. The clincher was when he said that his ex threatened him with a knife if he didn't have sex with her. I knew this girl. We weren't best friends, but she was the sweetest person I knew. I was disgusted. Not slong after that, I dumped him because I was just fed up with it. Plus, later on I did find out he was cheating on me with his neighbor.
I would advise you to get your head out of the clouds and save yourself before it's too late. There's no way you can ever change someone who doesn't want to change. Don't be that woman that says, "I can make him better, really!" Seriously. For your self respect.
I'm not trying to be a bitch. I just know how this has panned out- for myself and any other woman who ever tried to change a man to be what she wanted him to be. If he's a liar, he will remain one until he decides he doesn't want to do it anymore (which doesn't sound like it's coming up anytime soon).
Not trying to be gender-specific, either. I know there's a lot of bitches out there that don't give a rat's ass about anyone's feelings. I'm just giving my own account. Take it for what it's worth.

 

Thanks for all your advice guys. We had a big talk when he came home. He told me the reason he lied about texting the girl was because he was afraid I would be angry with him because she's a girl. I told him that he could tell me anything and he's got to stop hiding things or our relationship will never work. If I ever catch him lying again then i'm gone.

 

Get rid of him!!! He's probably saying that to get you to trust him. Well yeah, ah guess one last chance won't hurt.

Anyhow, if i know a girl is lying a lot, i wouldn't be with her. if you're not honest, then i don't want to be with you.

There's this girl who says i was her first crush blah blah blah and is telling me i just need to trust her and she tells me lies. She kissed me once on a boat and I asked her if she does do that to anyone, she's said no. But she didn't know one of my good buddies been done tell me she done kiss he off and telling he about going in a restuarant bathroom to make out. Yo see, the thing that saved me with such girls, is that i usually wait and find out about them before i be with them.

Liars, they're not wort being with. Anyhow, there's this one girl i know and she's very truthful. she told me she kissed already, how many boyfriends she had, she use to even show me conversations they had when the boys were trying to lie to her. even though she's somewhat rude, i'd rather a girl like that over a polite one who lies.

 

The liar said something to calm your mind.
Did you believe him? If so, why?

 

I believe him because chances are I would have gotten upset if he told me he was texting another girl.
I guess I believe that he really does love me. We live together and spend all of our time together. If he didn't love me why doesn't he just kick me out?

 

Girl, you aint know guys as yet.

How many boyfriends you had? I guess this will help us of knowing your situation.

 

I've had 6

 

ohk. Well, guys are good at playing with girls head, that's all i can say fo now. lol

 

People who TRULY love you, trust YOU. Whatever his reasons for lying he's still lying. NEWSFLASH: HE'S NOT GOING TO CHANGE. Little lies turn into medium lies and those turn into big lies. It may seem like you can live with it, but why? You shouldn't have to. And as for loving him, do YOU really believe you can have a good relationship with someone you don't trust?
My ex lied to me about everything from money to relationships to family issues. The worst was when he lied about 'losing' his license plate when in actuality it had been confiscated for driving on a suspended license. I found this out ONLY when, while driving my car, he had been arrested for doing what? Driving.
So, whatever he tells you... it's just a salve. Forget the ultimatum. Breaking up after that much time is gonna be hard, but you'll be happier in the long run. Unfortunately it'll prob take you a while to learn to trust ANYONE again. But you'll still be better off.

 

I met a woman a little over 10 years ago who has ruined my life, litterally "buried me". We met while she was married to another man. She decided to divorce him for me. But there was a son involved, now 22, a criminal who has a long record. He made sure we would never be happy and succeeded. I finally got her to lease a house with me in March 2007 after 2 years apart. My point: I had OTHER prospects in 1996-1998 who I might have "built a life" with. I felt ethically obligated to stick with her cuz of her divorce for me. Big mistake. I'm now too old to even think of trying again. Lesson: don't mess around on high loss/low reward situations. Get out and move on. Fast. My only companion now is a precious little shih-tzu dog, and I long for even just freinds. Humans who can talk. Mistakes can bury you so act quickly. It's your life.

 

Why would you even want to be with someone you can't trust completely? Love alone isn't enough to hold a relationship together. He sounds like such a scumbag, I dunno how you're putting up with him. But good luck anyway.

 

(If there is voting on whether to move this to Relationships, I say AYE!)

He's getting laid regularly and likes things the way they are.

Do you like things the way they are?
What changes do you want to see in your relationship/situation in the next year? (add rings to your fingers?, add a kid to the mix?, get a new couch??) Does he want those changes or would he try to avoid them?

And when you ask him, how can you judge whether a) he is telling you his thoughts or b) saying whatever will keep a willing woman in his bed.

Men are dogs, we will let women be as foolish as they want, if we get some sugar out of the deal.

 

In all fairness to my boyfriend, I've done my share of bad things in this relationship. I only told you guys one side of the story. I've cheated and i've lied. He found it in his heart to forgive me and i've changed. Why can't he change too? I've also been struggling with depression and anxiety and i'm absolutely paranoid that he will end up leaving me for someone better. I'd lie to me too.

 

The point is, he has to change of his own accord- when he realizes he HAS TO make a change if he wants things to stay the way they are. It's not like you just mentioned it to him and he thought, "hey wow, I didn't notice, but I kind of lie a lot." He knows when he's doing it. He has to be aware of it when it's happening. The question is, does he care?

I feel for this one. I really do, and I have driven away my share of guys because they didn't stroke my ego and make me feel absolutely positively secure in myself and never ever speak to another woman. However, as you grow, you learn to differentiate between the feelings that come from WITHIN YOU and the ones that are worthy of investigation. This will all take personal growth to overcome, so I see a little better where you guys are coming from, but it would still make me weary...

 

There's usually two sides to a story and the truth usually falls somewhere in the middle. Every relationship has it's difficulties at some point, for whatever reason(s). The key is to not keep making the same mistakes. Then it becomes a pattern that's doomed to fail a relationship. Other than that, there's no reason why two people, who love each other deeply, can't work through the problems that a long term relationship brings. It usually makes the relationship stronger for those who will take on the challenges, instead of taking the easy way out.