just found this forum on google, and I need someone to talk to right now. So here is the deal, I care for my boyfriend a lot. More than a lot, I love the boy. Yet from time to time he talks about his ex. I know he shared something with her. But I know these are types of bonds I will never have with him simply because I lack the same experiences. She is much prettier than me (I am a pretty girl, she is just prettier.) I know it means a lot to him that he care share some of these things with me, and it shouldn't get to me because he is with me now. But I can't seem to help myself, I am so jealous! I know part of him still loves her, and this makes me question his love for me. Thoughts? Advice?
i'll tell you right now, kindly, that my advice is not to seek advice in RT unless you're a regular. that is, if you want actual advice and not jokes at your expense. i'd go to the love and sex forum.
oh thank you! I only chose this one because it seemed to have more people actually viewing and posting.
you are insecure because you are afraid she will take him back, and you do not love yourself enough to know that you are of value, and that, further, if he would go back to her (he's with you now for a reason) he's not someone worth giving so much of yourself too anyway I have spent LOTS of time on this road and, you could mention to him that it makes you uncomfortable, let him know you respect that sometimes he has to talk about it, and you want to be there for him, but, also that you ARE afraid, because you care for him so much I really should add the warning though that if you do not love yourself enough to be secure being in a relationship is VERY dangerous, and even sometimes self destructive. I hope that was helpful, I could write a treatise on this subject, but I have more shit to do.
Thank you very much for your input. It's not a matter of loving myself, i think i have a fairly healthy self esteem. However, I just know I cannot relate to anything they had, and he speaks of it so fondly, I can't help but feel less important to him than her. I will agree, I know he is with me for a reason. But I'm just finding it difficult.
Oh, cool. I was just down at LaSalette a couple weeks ago. Love the lights! Sorry, didn't want to get off topic on you.
I would just like to add that I think your b/f should NOT be bringing up his past relationships. It's not very fair to you. It's just wrong, wrong, wrong.
I think it depends on the way that you bring it up, I bring up my ex with a "I'm so glad I'm with you because my ex was a douche"
Let him talk about it and don't take it personally that he loved someone else. He is just sharing his real self with you. Too many get jealous and possessive about thoughts and feelings. It's actions that count.
Luftballon ... first he is wrong by bringing up these comments! Second, you should tell him to keep his past experiences to himself. Tell him that they bother you, but because you love him so much you are going to forget. Third, dont' pay more attention to any comments related to his ex. Tell him you are not jealeous but those comments turn you off and he may end up loosing your love. Let us know if it worked.
Zorba ...you dont; know what you are talking about. I am a professional in that field. I hope you are not stupid enough to give advise at your age.
