By the last trip I had in what turned out to be a highly dose... I experienced what the Ego dosent enjoy - videlic loosing all the sense of itself. These trips though, enhance a higher lesson of yourself, and your fears. Cause you arent in control - and what you call You floats away in all you see and experience. Everything becomes alive as it really is. It scares me cause when my ego isn't there I kinda just disappear. Haha, I couldnt even listen to the playlist I set up for the journey cause all impressions were to intense. Mjau! No loving ego exsist to protect us... cause that is like the egos job - protection. With the spiritual intention I actually have with shrooms, I this time recognized spirits in my house, who seemed extremely loving. When I turned to them they like turned to me. And this I saw visionary. "Me" one the other hand felt to dispersed to take them into me fully. Just for a moment though, a magical moment. I really experienced their ever~present love. So people, besides that I whished to share my experience with you all I kinda wonder what yourselves experience during a total ego~dispersed trip? Heaven or hell? I say both And you actually gotta go through that hell so that when you're having your afterglow and land can really tell that you were up way high flying in the unknown with all your fears shown and no protection of the ego... Can you get it... this teacher we use have been used for thousands of years. One of its highest purpose is to plock apart your Ego so that you can recognize yourself beyond what dosen't really exsist! The ego of our is an illusion. And during a trip you also experience the soul of yourselve without the egos limitation... And the flow that comes from you, wow, it could never be truly described. But we need this magic to Remember who really are, yes? Mjau! Ciao :blush5:
I def. agree with you Jaiza. Shrooms opened my eyes up to a world I never would have expected to see anyother way. As for the spirits and ego loss, I have yet to fully experiance a dose high enough for that, because to b honest I am afraid but i think after a few more trips o self explorations i will b brave enough to take part and completely let go and stop mind fucking myself like i so often do when tripping and just take the ride.
It is frightening, it's my opinion that a high dose of magic mushrooms simulates the initial seperation we are all going to experience during the first stages of death. The yogis experience this in the higher states of samadhi but they are prepared for it, we are not, so when it comes at first we are overwhelmed and confused. All of the visions Ive had I find hard to believe in, but what comes during the peak when you no longer are you, is all to real, much more real than this temporary body inhabitation. I think when you have visions of hell, or spirits, or out of body experiences, this seems to show that you have much work to do on what you believe to be important, because many of people who have these experiences have a very difficult time letting go, so I think they are exposed to a selfish nature they may not have even been aware of. But the people who go off into the light, despite the different religious/spiritual beliefs, all tend to experience something very similar, a trascendental compassionate state of bliss where time and space cease and eternity is revealed as our true nature of consciousness. Many of us have a mix of both, I know that no matter how many times I take them, the seperation is always painful, and I have the hellish visions from the lower spheres but I also feel like Im being pulled into the future by a magnet, and then as the peak hits the high point eternity is tasted. So it usually goes both ways for us average people, and I definitley believe the mushrooms are natures manner of killing us for a little while so that when we come back, our appreciate for every detail takes root in our minds.
I agree with you 2 and thank Nature deeply for this gift we call magic mushrooms. It really prepares us for the unknown and even the stages in death, cool. But scary when you feel yourself disappearing into everything. During this trip I said many times: "I dosent exist". And that is true since life is just a projection of what we are, just a dream dreamt by consciousness of One, etc. Yeah mushrooms can really show ourselves the parts worth working on... Although it hurts... I really love this way to get ego-murdered, and to become a child again... the child who sees everything for the first time, what a joy. And one of the most important remembrances humanity needs - the child within. /Jaiza
i dont believe ive ever had a true ego death. but i have weakened it greately. the last time i had mushrooms and only mushrooms (ive had a combination of mush and xtc since) i took 4 grams and went into the trip expecting a fun night and a good time, like all of my previous mushroom experiences had been. not so much on the heavy side but more on the recreational side. well i guess these mushrooms had other ideas for me. the first hour or so of trip was very fun filled with stronger oev's than i had ever experienced from mushrooms so i was mostly playing around of those while listening to music. eventually my thoughts managed to drift to my father who passed away in april of last year. i had long since thought i had come to peace with this but appearently not. the next half an hour or so (felt like much more) was spent very openly weaping and sobbing mostly filled with thoughts about how much i missed him. as much as i tried to come to peace with these thoughts i could not. i would manage to stop the tears for a minute or so and would feel amazing, enlightened and reborn, but then i would be thrust right back down into the pit of these awful emotions. it was as if all the recepters that had allowed me to block these bad and sad feelings had suddently left me defenseless to my true feelings, to finially deal with them 8 months later. and thats what i did. i stopped thinking about the times me and him would never have together, that me and him would never see each other again, but rather i thought about the good times we had had, all the memories i will always have. when i finally stopped thinking about the good times we would never have and rather the good times we had together (particular the two week or more annual camping trips all over the united states that we took before he got cancer) the bad emotions stopped and all at once i was flooded with the most beautiful feeling of beeing at peace i had ever experienced. i believe what this trip did was to tear down my ego which had been shielding me from these emotions, and finially let me address and deal with them, even if it wasnt always fun, and for that i will always be thankful.
