is it a sign of being jelous? men mainly but can be female replies too :)

yessss its me again with a certain problem that needs some answers and help from!!!

been dating my boyfriend for what 2years had a 6month break in between and like everyone says "you should trust them like anything if anything would of happened it would of done by now!"

i have recently found out that his texting the girl that i see as a threat and what kind of broke us up in the first place.... he lives south and she lives north of the country.... but there texting everyday.... where i have issues with myself lately i feel its just down to my hormones!

we have both spoke about this and he has said to me there just friends and if i dont like them texting he will stop.... which to me is a sign that there really is nothing going on.... he sees her as if he doesnt have anyone else to speak to he goes to her!... they have met face to face just dont anymore....

my worries are: he will start to like her and show more intrest in her.... scared it will push me away like before, put a wedge between us two and will forever make me think what are they texting eachother is it her his texting.... i know after 2 years i sould trust! and i do! its her i dont know about!


helppppp!

 

all i have to say is i feel where you are coming from....and i don't know what it is about us girls but we seem to care an overboard more than guys do....and even though they may get mad at us because we are getting jealous its just a girl thing and there going to find that with any girl out there weather from the first time meeting someone or not....a girl after awhile gets so attached to a good thing and they just don't want anything to get messed up so our jealously kicks in but hun from being with my bf over 2 years and being how i was being it would only push your bf further away, as much as we don't want to hear or see things its best just to trust unless something happens that you know about because with some guys weather or not we don't want them to do things with or without how we feel they are going to do what they were all ready going to do and it seems to me like you have nothing at all to worry about...i am the same way and after the other night when i got into a fight with my bf over something stupid that i started i learned that i could really trust him and that guys are going to be guys its normal but its you who they come home to at night or talk to you at night not them. you know! so i hope that helps you a little but, feel free to talk about this as much as possible because i do totally understand what your going through.

 

with us girls its a big thing ay!!!... he is a good thing to me and im ready to build a future with him and he is too.... i just get worried with past things that have happened... and i know it seems silly but i just see her as a threat to us.... i dont see him being the bad one ever... and i know if i act different and get that in my head then it will get between us and push him away.... thankyou angelyez!!!..... i feel i can talk to him and tell him things i love it when we argue it gets loads off my chest and i hate it to... just like marmite!!!

 

anytime...like i said if u ever have a ? its always good to ask, and i know where your coming from....trust your heart and gut instinct, believe me hun seems like u have nothing to worry about hope everything works out.

 

he said he will stop texting her, but will he?? if he knows that this girl bothers you, then why would he be in contact with her??, personaly as a man, i would only stay in contact with an ex or a women i new liked me, only, if- i had feelings for her in some way.

 

well i am not a man so i don't know how men work...but i believe guys could talk to girls with out having feelings for them... just like with a girl , we talk to guys doesn't mean o we want them...i am only interested in my bf and my bf only...i mean some people are like that but i don't think everyone....wouldn't you get mad if your gf was always on your back about about a girl who you talked to that was your best friend but you had no feelings for her what so ever?? i mean my bf has two best friends that i know of that are girls and he is just friends with them....of course i got jealous because i am a girl and thats what we do but i know he would never do anything behind my back or have feelings for them

 

he used to like her but he got back with me because he loved me still and missed me loads.... my girl mate is like close friends with boys lol.... jelousy is like a girls main job lol men get jelous of us femalllessss toooo!!!

 

nothing wrong with having girls for friends even best friends, if ur a lad, but ur fella and this girl were more than friends, live and learn.
you have good reason to be jelous, he should not be in contact with an ex or some one ,you no he once liked, while he is with you.
but love is blind , so i am sure, you will belive the least painfull explanation given
i would,nt worry ,you are only 20, and will find love, again, and again, and again.

 

It's just a case of learning to trust him. Even if she did break you up before, you have to give him some space and trust him. If he tells you that they're friends and there's no evidence to believe otherwise, then I think you may just be overanalyzing things. Take an interest in his life, tell him your concerns, if he really cares he'll back off.

Just my opinion.

Peace
Akai-Chan

 

thank you akai chan!!!
he hasnt been any different he knows its getting me down soooo i think his starting to back off now!

 

Until you risk giving him freedom, you'll never have a trusting relationship. I would tell him how you feel, but say that my feelings are in no way an imposition.

Finally, I'd be interested in what role this long-distance friendship plays for him that others don't. In detail...

 

If she can take him from you, its good that you learn that about him now.

 

what do you mean?

 

Jealousy is a dangerous thing and good only in small quantities, like salt on food, in small quantities it improves the taste but you don’t want to make a meal of it. Nothing can tear a relationship apart faster than a lot of jealously.

So ask yourself some questions:
What is he texting about? Is it something you would rather he talk to you about or is about something you don’t share an interest in anyway?
Is he okay with you getting to know this other person or would he rather that the two of you not be friends or get to know each other?
Do you feel he is neglecting you in some way because of his friendship with this other person?
In all other respects does he treat you well and are you satisfied with the way he treats you?
How much do you think that he wants to be with you?
How much do you want to be with him?

After answering questions like these, ask yourself how much do I want to make a go of this relationship and then act accordingly. Men who feel they have something nice at home generally don’t run away from home.

Remember, a little jealousy can make a person feel secure and that they are not being taken for granted but a lot of jealousy can make a person feel trapped and want to run away.

 

this has helped..... he is texting her about his daily stuff what he gets up to and so is she just asking how they are... where she lives up north no need for me to get incontact as they are not local.... his not neglecting me or being odd or different... he treats me well and i do back...maybe that extra effort would help.... he has said he wants to save go on holiday then save to move in with eachother.... i want him loads and i love him loads he is my rock!....

with this jelously going on im starting to feel different from him... im starting to look at him different act different and starting to become distant from him...

but i dont understand issss that he hasnt told her his in a relationship with me sooo i asked him why and he said its never come into conversation.. but he said i can always look at his phone and add her to facebook he doesn't care about her.....