I was an exploitative, dirty, deceitful bastard last night

I went with a girl who was really way too drunk to make any kind of decisions, and she asked me for money, to which I refused (as she did not make this clear until I had spent a fair bit of money getting us to her place)

she was semi-unconscious when I had her (although it didn't take her long to reach consciousness and there was no lack of willingness) and afterwards she kept pissing and moaning so I threw her my biggest note (about a fourth or sixth of what she would be worth as a hooker. she was beautiful) but really like threw it at her.

pre-sex I also told her I really liked her and thought she liked me, too, so that's why I didn't want to pay, but my words were untrue and I just wanted to get laid with this hot girl.

I left her apartment, and went back after about two minutes to apologize for being such a piece of shit, but I don't think she really understood and/or cared.

I feel bad. I feel as if I've sacrificed part of who I am (or thought I was) for something as trivial as sex, and then being so disrespectful about it.

in my defense I was very, very drunk and had been up for almost 24 hours, but I think that is a very weak defense as I was still capable of making decisions.

 

Dude, your only human. Shit happens and you learn. That's why I don't think drinking and having sex mix at all.

 

Straight out of Moliere!

 

Moliere? comedy, you mean?
I don't know if I'll ever be able to laugh at this. sure, I am only human, but my behavior was pretty fucking despicable.

 

I wouldn't be so hard on myself.

I was referring to Don Juan's technique of marrying women to lay them.

 

you're probably correct, but I was a right bastard with this girl. it doesn't bother me overly, and it is not something I will dwell on, it just surprises me that I still have that malicious streak in me, because I thought I got rid of that a while ago.

as for Don Juan, I've only seen the Johnny Depp movie. (awesome, by the way. "including you, there has been exactly one...... thousand five hundred and two.")

 

She's probably used to it.

 

Dude, you're delusional. She was manipulating you as much as you were manipulating her--.

Women "get drunk" as a technique to avoid taking responsibility for anonymous sex; which is taboo for women, and for that very reason a transgressive fantasy.

 

So, you met a hooker, that was too drunk to charge you?

I dont see the problem