"mentally cheating?"

is that enough to get you angry at your partner??


like, say if they're thinking about somebody else, while they're fucking you.


people usually, only get mad about physically cheating.
but... i think this would get me pretty pissed off too.

 

that seems kind of ridiculous. how could i be mad?

a fantasy is a fantasy.

 

Well.. How would you know?

I wouldn't call it cheating but I'd be mad.
It kinda makes you feel undesirable. Like they have to frost you with fantasy before you become good enough..

On the other hand, after like a good number of years with the same partner, maybe your imagination will wander and I think that's understandable. Not positive but I do understand?
It'd be worse if they did it with who they were thinking about though..
So I'll take the lesser of the evils

 

If she screamed the name of another guy during coitus.

 

In that case, I don't know how you COULDN'T be mad. Unless you were role-playing. :T Fantasy or not, it would hurt my feelings..

 

this Actually Happened To Me With My First Wife ,and How Is This For Big Trouble The Other Person Who I Mentioned During The Actwas Her Twin Sister,goddam Was She Ever Pissed,it Took A Week Of Kissing Her Ass And Other Places To Smooth It Over And Yes I Think She Had Every Right To Get Pissed,i Know I Would.

 

hey its different with twins, they are identical, what do you expect? haha.
its okay to fantasize about twins. that'd be hot. lol. right?

or not..

 

I'd be mad, my beau mentioned once that he thought of others. He was jerkin' it for a month. I was FURIOUS.

 

I'm surprised that so many of you seem to think that being hurt means that you should react with anger!

Anger is one of the reasons that our world is so fucked up and filled with violence .... another reason is false pride.

 

Mentally cheating? Sounds like something out of 1984.

 

Anger and violence are primal instincts. Lack of control of both is whats fucking the world up.

 

i agree, the poll question confused me 'cause i would feel no anger in that situation


i would definitely be hurt but it wouldn't make me angry.. just super bothered and sad

it's their choice to think about what they think about, i can't control that. but i admit that it would bring me down a lot to know they were thinking of someone else in that way.

EDIT:

true, that's also a good point.

 

I think as long as the guy wasn't thinking about another guy while with me, I really wouldn't care. Not that I am against gays or anything. I would rather him just think about another women, IF he was going to think about someone else.

 

I think I'd be a lil upset as I know my husbadn only has eyes of me and I wanna be the only sexual creature in his land

 

It’s no newsflash: many people cheat. But you don’t have to take your clothes off for another or even touch someone outside your relationship to be unfaithful. I’m talking about “emotional infidelity,”


Why did females immediately understand this concept easier than males? (usually)
According to recent evolutionary studies, men are typically distraught when they suspect sexual betrayal, while women are more suspicious of emotional betrayal:

Hearing someone has “cheated” in a relationship immediately implies a sexual act. Emotional cheating, however, goes beyond this; it involves gradually replacing your significant other mentally with a “platonic” friend or innocent flirt.

So what constitutes cheating? Is it the point when you pursue your cute friend while involved in a serious relationship? Or is it the moment you actually question whether or not you’re cheating mentally? After all, it’s hard to accuse someone of being unfaithful when they’ve never actually made a sexual pass at someone else.

There’s an unwritten code for emotional infidelity and many people, particularly women, know it. There’s still an element of sexual desire, yes, but it becomes the overall quest for complete satisfaction, ultimately leading to a failed relationship.
We’ve all heard it before: “He’s just a friend.” Nothing has to physically happen between the woman and her guy friend, but the intense connection they feel towards each other may be more destructive than a strictly sexual affair.
Men, on the other hand, are more threatened by sexual competition rather than the elusive idea of “mental cheating.” That’s not to say sex and emotions aren’t connected, but men often overlook the fact their girlfriend may be thinking of someone else.

 

I've been there...it's not a nice thing to deal with. My ex-boyfriend of over a year "came out of the closet", and now he is having relations with random guys from the internet. While we were cuddling and fondling and such he would mention his friend who he wanted to have relations with (this was before he officially came out). It's upsetting to know that you're giving your all to someone, and then finding out that they're only giving you 50% or less. I have nothing against GBLT folks out there, I just think that if you know you're with someone that you're not attracted to, then you should jump ship as soon as you can. It's more upsetting to learn you were living a lie than knowing the truth.

 

If my girl was thinking about other guys while we fucked, I'd be pissed. I'd get a bunch of self esteem issues and crap.

 

Truth. But my first reaction would be extreme. I won't lie.
Consider this: Love and hate aren't too different in a way. They're both an extreme feeling for someone. So when it feels like you've been cheated, maybe you go into a kind of shock. I think for a slight moment, I wouldn't want to feel love. I know that's not the way to go but I'll be honest. I can't take it in stride. I'd vent first. So I'd choose hate or anger. Or at least a sub-part of it. After time to think and cool down, I'd then talk it out. I wouldn't immediately boot my partner! I think anger is ok. It's how you handle the situation afterwards that matters. Afterall, as much as I'd like it, the world isn't filled with lollipops and candy canes..

 

LaceyFan - - you make some valid points.

As Sarahrei said, anger is a primal instinct. It is hardwired into us and serves a good purpose ..... it causes a rush of adrenaline that fuels the fight or flight response. After this initial function anger only clouds our thinking.

Our intelligence enables us to turn off the anger after it has completed its mission, and our thin veneer of civilization helps us do it, but it is up to us as individuals to turn it off.

That's why when my boys were doing competitive athletics my counsel was, "Don't get angry, get even."

IMO hate and love is not instinctive (other than mother love) and therefore they are a choice. In my life I've chosen not to hate, although I often use the word ... like .... "I hate what our government is doing in the Middle-East." Being free from hatred allows me to think more clearly and make better choices in how to get more than even .... if getting even was my choice .... which it seldom is.

I urge all of you to try to "walk a mile in their shoes" before deciding to get even .... unless it is in competitive athletics.

Om Muni Muni
Mahāmuni
Śākyamuni
Svāhā​

 

I think this question is much more relevant than it used to be because of internet chatting. When I was married, chatting barely existed. I enjoy it myself now, obviously, but I would probably cut it out completely if I remarried, and would expect my husband to do the same.

Not that we couldn't share our sexuality with others, but only as a couple ... not separately or behind each other's back.

To me, it's the "separately" thing that constitutes cheating.