Dating someone a different religion than you

Also posted in the Philosophy and Religion forums

I've met this great girl and I'm a little worried about it because she's a different religion than I am. I'm Agnostic and she considers herself a Christian. I don't know how devout she is but she seems to have an open mind. I guess I need some advice on how to handle this because I've never really had this problem before.

 

Well, if she's an out lesbian and a christian, I'd say chances are good she's a pretty liberal one. Are you afraid of her trying to convert you? Or would it bother you even if she didn't?

 

I don't think you should stress. As an agnostic I assume you're not too hardcore about religion. If she turns out to be trying to convert you every second, you'll have trouble; but from your side it's no big deal, right?

I feel strongly about it myself - I'm an atheist, and after some failed experiments I stopped dating non-atheists - but agnostic should be a good deal less stringent, so I think you should be fine as long as she is.

Good luck. I hope your relationship ends up with loads of fun debates!

 

Actually, I'm in the same exact situation... except the other way around. I'm the Christian and she's agnostic. She used to be Christian but fell out of it a few years ago. I tried to get her to go to church again but she kept telling me it'd be awkward- like it felt like she was being rude by being there but not quite believing in the same things. I understood. So hopefully she's as open-minded.

Now, it's just like religion is off to the side. I'll be going to church on my own time. It's only like an hour anyway. Other than that, I say silent graces before meals and nobody gets bothered. It would vary depending on degree of devoutness I suppose though.

Good luck! <3

 

has she mentioned it being a problem? Unless she is very devout I don't see what problem it could be. I have been out with people of different religions and by the fact that they wanted to go out with me showed that there wasn't any problem with it.

 

No she has not mentioned it being a problem so far. And there's been no trying-to-convert yet. More than anything, I'm afraid I'm going to say something that offends her. I tend to be very opinionated and I feel like I need to censor myself now.

 

If you respect her religion, then she should know that you don't mean to offend her by what you say. If you are worried about it ask her how she feels about you not being Christian. She probably doesn't really mind, but if it will put your mind at rest.

 

Well, I'm just afraid that this is a "red flag", you know? Maybe I shouldn't pursue anything with her, but that might be kind of mean.

You're right, it is about respect. At this point in time, she's either not showing or it really doesn't bother her that I'm Agnostic. I don't know how "liberal" of a Christian she is, but I could be getting lost in the details and not focusing on the whole picture. I guess I just don't want it to get to the point where there's a really bad argument over it.

 

If she is with a girl then she can't be one of those annoying Christian who follow the bible word for word you know? You say that it doesnt seem to bother her that you are agnostic? That's probably what is it. I don't think anyone who thought going out with someone who wasn't christian was wrong, would and then just hide that they didnt like it. Give it ago and see what happens! It might just work out beautifully

But don't just give up without even knowing!

 

Yeah, I should. I just don't want to offend her.

 

My bf is an agnostic and I am a Christian. I pray that he finds guidance ( he seems to have been turned away by the church), but I don't try to talk him into anything. Actually, I never bring it up. I patiently answer his questions when he asks and try to be as open as possible. I actually share a lot of his feelings of resentment toward the church as an establishment and people who abuse their religion, though, so it works out.
It's a two-way street. She needs to respect your beliefs and you need to respect hers. Try not to lump her into the "crazy Christian" category, because if she is hanging with you, she's most likely put aside that "ignorant infidel" stereotype, right?

 

Well, I don't know how devout she is. I'll try to keep an open mind and hope she does, too. Religion is a very personal thing, but when you may be potentially dating someone that is different than you, it may come up as a problem.

 

Personally I wont date someone who believes in god, it may not bring up issues now but eventually, it usually does.

 

Kind of... If you plan on kids(adopting or whatever) you're going to want to sort it out now. Marriages and partnerships are all about compromise. I agreed that we would raise our potential kids Christian but let them make a choice on their own when they're older. I mean if you clear all of the details that could be deal-breakers, you should be fine?

 

She doesn't seem to be very strict in her faith. However, yes, it will come up eventually and we both know that we believe differently. She's a great girl and I don't want to miss out on her just because of that, you know?

 

I can't stand dating anyone who is stupid enough to believe in any religion. I've made all my girlfriends realise that there is no god or anything and I've converted them all to atheists from Christians

And no, I don't feel bad, because I'm opening their minds and doing them a favour, by increasing their level of intelligence.

I suggest you try to rationalize with her and explain all the reasons that all religions (especially Christianity) are wrong and impossibly stupid. You then won't have to worry about differing religious views, as you will both not believe in anything

 

You are to the atheists what missionaries are to Christians: a giant pain in the ass.
Leave people alone, will ya?

 

Well, I didn't want this topic to focus on the religious issue since this is a relationship forum. I'd rather it focus on the potential issues of having a relationship with someone into a different religion. I posted this same topic in the Philosophy and Religion forums, so we can talk about the religious issue there.

As far as a relationship goes, I wouldn't force my belief system upon anyone out of respect and I would want that same respect shown back. But sometimes things have to be compromised, I guess.

 

what do Atheists say when they orgasm?

 

I'd just be worried about when it came down to getting married, raising kids, etc.

I've never been one to date people casually though, I'm normally in a relationship. I wouldn't date someone that I knew from the start I wouldn't work with in the long run..