apply for job~to work with Kinky Ramona

Everybody who filled them out gets jobs, because not even I would have taken the time to do that.

 

i'll admit i got a lot of stupid questions when i interviewed at pizza hut, but it was pretty obvious that he was just following a standardized set of required interview questions and didn't actually give a fuck how i responded to any of them.

 

I filled out only on job application in my life and that was when I was 14

 

Common Questions At Job Interviews

About You

• Tell me about yourself. What exactly do u wanna know
• How would you describe yourself? human
• How would your boss describe you? beats me, ask them..I ain't a mind reader
• What motivates you? $$$
• What do you look for in a job? $$$
• What is your personal mission statement or motto? huh?

About Your Current Company/Job

• What do you enjoy most about what you do now? spending the paycheck
• What do you enjoy least about your current
  role? working when business is so damn slow & boring
• Why do you want to leave your current job/Company? need more $$$
• What do you think of your current boss? which one
• What will you miss about your present job? the cheap rent that comes with the job

About The Company/Job

• What can you tell me about XYZ Company? if you're the manager then u should already know
• What do your think XYZ Company can offer you? $$$
• If you're successful, what do you think you'll be doing day-to-day? asking these same dumb questions to someone else

About Your Suitability

• 
  ​
• What are your strengths/weaknesses? take a guess
• Why did you think you are suited to this job?
• Can you give me an example of a situation where you showed initiative? I have 7 kids..how much more initiative do I need
• How well do you work under pressure? read above answer
• What sort of people do you find it difficult to work with? bosses
• Sell Me This Pen! oh hell...its easier to just give u the damn thing
• What key skills do you think you'll need to be successful in this job? I show up for work
• Why should we give the job to you above other applicants? I show up for work

About Your Achievements

• Give examples of some of your work achievements.
• What do you consider to be your greatest achievement?

About Your Ambitions

• Where do you see yourself in five years time? do I look like a mind reader or fortune teller
• How does this job fit into your career plans? as long as u give me a paycheck, it fits just fine
• Where did you think you'd be at this stage in your life? retired
• If you could start again, what career decisions would you make differently?

For Management/Supervisory Jobs

• How would you get the best from people? either give them sex or money.
• How would you approach a typical project? depends
• Give me an example of how you have resolved conflict. I walked out
• What did you look for when you hired people in the past? someone who could show up whenever I want them to

About Working in a Team

• Do you work best by yourself or as part of a team? depends
• What kind of personality do you work best with and why? the kind that agree with me
• How would you go about establishing your credibiity quickly within the team? can we buy credit
• Tell me about a time when you had to deal with conflict on the job. sorry, I'm allergic to conflict
• What irritates you about other people and how do you deal with it? people in general irritate me

About Salary

• What are your salary expectations? more then what you're willing to pay

 

About You

• Tell me about yourself: I have a strangely puerile world view and I like to eavesdrop like a little girl. I also have a multi faceted disco ball...personality. It’s good for dancing.
• How would you describe yourself? 5'9", Brunette, Small rack, Green eyes, and when I wear a Christmas hat and pull out my ears I look like an elf.
• How would your boss describe you? A dork
• What motivates you? Money for petrol, and a chance to give back some of the money I owe my dad.
• What do you look for in a job? Something challenging, and interesting.
• What is your personal mission statement or motto? Never underestimate the power of your own mind. If you always do what you've always done then you'll always get what you've always got.
  

About Your Current Company/Job
About The Company/Job

Nada


About The Company/Job

• What can you tell me about XYZ Company? Not a hell of allot. People work there, they get paid, they buy stuff they want but dont always need.
• What do your think XYZ Company can offer you? A better financial situation. Moolah
• If you're successful, what do you think you'll be doing day-to-day? I dun no

About Your Suitability

• What are your strengths/weaknesses? I can be quite insubordinate at times. Low frustration tolerance, poor conflict resolution skills, poor impulse control, attachment and trust issues, low tolerance for children.​
• Why did you think you are suited to this job? I've been unemployed for a while. A job is a job.​
• Can you give me an example of a situation where you showed initiative?
• How well do you work under pressure? I did four months of W/E at a Rural Vet Clinic.
• What sort of people do you find it difficult to work with? Know-it-all's, folks who flaunt authority, people who click their tongue on the top of their mouth, people who breath too loudly, and peope who laugh at something and nudge you so you laugh.
• Sell Me This Pen! Get your own, scab!
• What key skills do you think you'll need to be successful in this job? Well I shouldn't come in late.
• Why should we give the job to you above other applicants? I'm pretty

About Your Achievements

• Give examples of some of your work achievements. I've had one job, and about four work experience placements. I need something better to put on a resume
• What do you consider to be your greatest achievement? I did a cartwheel once!

About Your Ambitions

• Where do you see yourself in five years time? In Tassie, hopefully. Or working to become a Vet Nurse
• How does this job fit into your career plans? Probably doesn't. I mean, it is imaginary.
• Where did you think you'd be at this stage in your life? Well I didn't know did I? I had hopes, not expectations.
• If you could start again, what career decisions would you make differently? I probably couldn't have

For Management/Supervisory Jobs

• How would you get the best from people? Gain leverage by means of blackmail, and subterfuge.
• How would you approach a typical project? With a smile.
• Give me an example of how you have resolved conflict. Let someone else do it
• What did you look for when you hired people in the past? I haven't

About Working in a Team

• Do you work best by yourself or as part of a team? Team effort.
• What kind of personality do you work best with and why? Nerds, Geeks, People who never say a commonplace thing, fools, people who are made to live.
• How would you go about establishing your credibility quickly within the team? I'd figure something out
• Tell me about a time when you had to deal with conflict on the job. I argued, glared at her and then hid in the fridge and hit a coulple of boxes. Then I got her fired
• What irritates you about other people and how do you deal with it? Know it alls...people who talk too much about themselves or personal lives, and people who think they are better, or have more authority over you because they're more senior. I either ignore it, them, or leave.

About Salary

• What are your salary expectations? Lots of it

 

wow, i was totally going to participate, but damn, im lazzzzzzy. thats long

 

Common Questions At Job Interviews

About You

• Tell me about yourself. i like puppies
• How would you describe yourself? short hairy barefoot
• How would your boss describe you? same
• What motivates you? fire
• What do you look for in a job? easy money
• What is your personal mission statement or motto? do i have to get out of bed?

About Your Current Company/Job

• What do you enjoy most about what you do now? sleeping in
• What do you enjoy least about your current
  role? vacuuming
• Why do you want to leave your current job/Company? who said i did?
• What do you think of your current boss? i love me!
• What will you miss about your present job? sleeping in

About The Company/Job

• What can you tell me about XYZ Company? you work here you tell me!
• What do your think XYZ Company can offer you? money
• If you're successful, what do you think you'll be doing day-to-day? be carried around by my many slaves

About Your Suitability

• 
  ​
• What are your strengths/weaknesses? i sleep in good, i'd rather not use the phone
• Why did you think you are suited to this job? i didn't
• Can you give me an example of a situation where you showed initiative? i pushed 3 humans from my crotch
• How well do you work under pressure? i cry in the corner
• What sort of people do you find it difficult to work with? breathing ones
• Sell Me This Pen! BILLY MAYES HERE! gimme a dollar and it's yours!
• What key skills do you think you'll need to be successful in this job? not losing my app.
• Why should we give the job to you above other applicants? why the hell not?

About Your Achievements

• Give examples of some of your work achievements. no
• What do you consider to be your greatest achievement? living to be 32

About Your Ambitions

• Where do you see yourself in five years time? earth
• How does this job fit into your career plans? just make me CEO now
• Where did you think you'd be at this stage in your life? earth
• If you could start again, what career decisions would you make differently? be more like mother teresa

For Management/Supervisory Jobs

• How would you get the best from people? god will the questions ever stop?
• How would you approach a typical project? pretend i forgot about it and not do it
• Give me an example of how you have resolved conflict. cry
• What did you look for when you hired people in the past? sexiness

About Working in a Team

• Do you work best by yourself or as part of a team? alone in the closet
• What kind of personality do you work best with and why? animals
• How would you go about establishing your credibility quickly within the team? using spell check
• Tell me about a time when you had to deal with conflict on the job. no
• What irritates you about other people and how do you deal with it? like when they breath on me or they put dirty knives in the sink or they don't flush after turding it up!

About Salary

• What are your salary expectations? 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.59

so am i hired?