Early Bloomer vs. Promiscuity

Both can be defined as sluts.

 

I was an early bloomer (started menstruation at 10, in the fifth grade), started going out with my first boyfriend a week before I turned 15. However, I am still not sexually active, save for making out, things like that. My mother basically scared the beejeezus out of me, where sex is concerned, and I am just now getting past all of what she put into my head.

 

Good thread. I think your original question about a connection between early maturation and promiscuity is very interesting ... I wonder if anyone has done any actual studies on it?

The opposite side of the question is ... if you were late in maturation, did you "make up for lost time" by being more promiscuous? In my case, the answer was "yes" .. lol ... I didn't lose my virginity until my sophomore year in college, but oh my ... I was like .. "hey, I like this!" ... I definitely made up for lost time ...

 

Is sex serious business or not?

 

Thanks. She is kind of like a little sister to me. We lost touch there for a bit, but we had fun this weekend. She really has grown up a lot since I used to babysit her. We talked for a long time on Saturday. She doesn't seem to be all that interested in boys yet, even though she is drawing quite a bit of attention from them. I think she really just needed someone to listen to her more than she needed advice. She has a pretty good head on her shoulders.

The more I read this thread the more confused I get about the whole early bloomer v. promiscuity question. It seems that it is the catalyst for some but not related at all for others.

 

Well, let's face it: some girls who bloom early look spectacular, and some look awkward. And that may be more about how they feel about it personally than their genes.

Just as well that she's not interested yet. She has plenty of time.

 

Oh yeah, I was happy to hear that she just wasn't that in to boys yet. Maybe that's my own personal demons talking, but I wish I had waited for my mind to catch up with my body.

 

I wish you had waited for me to catch up with your body.

...sorry, sometimes you think of the perfect creepy pickup line and you just can't resist sharing.

 

Adolecence is HELL.

I was an average-aged puberty, beginning at 11 with HIPS. I was the scrawny ugly tomboy when I was a kid, with what few playmates I had being boys and my equally scrawny little sister. I started getting my curves at the same time that my mother found out that she had type 2 diabetes, and she panicked that I was getting fat and would be diabetic just like her. She was told that her obesity caused it, and to watch for signs in her grossly underweight (naturally, though) offspring.

But all of a sudden my male playmates, while more willing than normal to play with me, were suddenly unable to talk to me. My mother would no longer let me rough-house with them, and we could never play alone together. I lost a lot of male friends, but I can't stand female company (never have been able too). But some of the older girls I knew were suddenly SO FREAKING COOL, and I wanted them to like me as much as I liked them, but all of them were church girls and I was the unladylike one who spoke to boys without parent nearby, so they couldn't stand me. And suddenly I realized that Two-Face from Batman Forever was so much more interesting than Lt. Commander Data (It's blasphemy now, but hormones cause damage.), and I wanted to be JUST LIKE the bad girls in leather in the movies.

I had gotten the biology (sperm + egg = baby in 9 months, and these organs cause it. . . ) of sex at an early age, but my mother was so conservative that every question I asked was considered perverse. I was a perverted child. I had only seen a baby boy naked, and my 7 year old male cousin, so I couldn't figure out the mechanics. After my first cycle (a silent hell that I wasn't allowed to talk about once the initial purchase of pads was over), I was given the bells and whistles of what was happening to me. I defied it. I was a B-cup before my mother finally convinced me to wear a bra, and I was going from short, nerdy, and underweight to broadshouldered, voluptuous (stocky), and still short. Thank you, German heritage, for the build designed for hard labor, childbirth, and body-slamming any threats to my offspring.

As for sex, all I got was: it can feel good, so people keep doing it, but it gets you pregnant and it's a sin unless you're married and NO, I WON'T TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENS! I got caught masturbating once. I had no idea what it was, just that it was somehow connected to sex and it had to happen at least twice a day for me to function normally. I was told that while it wasn't a sin, it opened the door for sin later so I should limit it. It wasn't until I was eighteen and in college before my best friend, a nerdygoth man two years older than me, explained the hydraulics of the matter.

I got rid of my virginity at twenty (It was getting to be a pain in the ass, and I no longer had any religious qualms as I had converted to Neopaganism.), not to my best friend, but to a boy that my mother wanted me to drop out of college and marry. I suspected that all he wanted was sanctioned sex, so I provided it and confirmed my suspicions. He dumped me a couple of years later, after I decided to go back to school and NOT be a housewife. He hated to have sex anyway. Shortly after, my best friend and I fell into bed together and after five years of friendship and three months of dating (living together and fucking like bunnies) he proposed. We've been engaged for a year and a half with no trouble, and my parents just six months ago realized that I was no longer virgin.

My sister got married at twenty this year to a boy just like my ex. She had flunked biology, so when she revealed that she wanted to have lots of kids but was petrified of seeing her husband naked (And what does birth control have to do with sex?), I asked my mother if Bugg had gotten The Talk. I got told that she was saving it for my sister's wedding day like she had been planning for me, but that I had stolen that bonding moment from her by losing my virginity to my fiance. I told her that he hadn't been my first, then immediately called my sister up and broke the biological truth to her. She verified this with Mom, who told her that she couldn't back out of the wedding that late. She went with it, and I told her that if she ever wanted out of the marriage I would come get her. She decided within a week that sex was better than ending the relationship (a major personal failure in our church), and stopped speaking to me. Our mother may never forgive me. I love being evil.

 

i got the impression very early that sex was a joke. anyone else get this?

 

*snicker*

 

not me. it was the most powerful drive in the world for me. i was on the hunt for someone decent to have sex with at the age of 13. but i had a very specific set of standards of hygiene, personality and intelligence. it took me over a year, but once i found the right guy i was ON IT like a duck on a june bug. morning, noon and night, it was the only thing i thought about. even then, it scared me. so i controlled every aspect of it as best i could. i'm happy to say, i don't have any regrets. it coulda been bad.