I've been here before, and I know some of you have as well. Basically, I like a boy whose sexuality is unannounced and ambiguous to himself. He's been pretty asexual the whole time I've known him, about three months. He's never gone further than making out with a few girls, and rarely. Everyone assumes he's gay immediately because of his mannerisms and his voice. Although I've always found him cute, I didn't develop a legitimate attraction to him until about a month ago. I thought it would be emotionally irresponsible to be into him because he doesn't seem to know if he likes boys or girls (or both), but it was inevitable because we always end up hanging out together because our mutual friends are almost all the same, and of course, all girls. We're very compatible and I've squeezed his leg before when we were completely wasted and getting a ride to this party in a neighbouring town, which I did because the previous week he had even removed the "interested in women" bullshit on Facebook. He didn't say anything about it and we just kept talking and laughing like usual. The following week he started texting me much more frequently and that weekend we were hanging out almost exclusively. I made the mistake of drunkenly confessing to his best friend that I liked him because I wanted to know if she knew how he felt about me. Apparently he talks about me all the time and I'm his only male friend, and she agreed that she thought he was attracted to me because he didn't even pay attention to her when the three of us were together and was only watching me. That was after my friends from my dorm kept asking me if we were hooking up for the same suspicions. After we got back from the bar, though, I guess she told him and he felt weird about it, and hasn't been trying to specifically hang out with me, though we've seen each other a few times in social situations. My friend told me that a week later he told her that he missed me and just wanted to be my friend. She asked him if he was into me at all, and he said that he "didn't want to ruin our friendship". I saw him the next night and everything was fine, but the past week's been Thanksgiving so I have no idea what's going on and I feel like I shouldn't be the one to reintiate contact, nor do my friends. Everyone thinks he's just confused as hell and needs to straighten his shit out. The thing is that I can't stop thinking about him and really, really want to see him. Is there anything else I can personally do, or should I just wait it out? Any ideas?
If its like that, means he's gay , yes, it is as simple as that From your story, sounds like you are both into each other, go for it, hang out as friends first, make up outings where its just you and him when you want to start to get extra flirty, away from the judgemental eyes of his friends
I didn't mean to make anyone sound judgmental, because they're not like that at all. It was mostly in reference to my other gay friends' gaydar, and the people who see us interact. Unless I'm completely misunderstanding your advice.
Whether his friends are judgemental or not has nothing really to do with it. You have to worry about his fear of alienating/losing his friends first. The stress of starting up something with someone you spark with is enough, no need to add the stress of waving around the gay pride flag at the same time
