Advice for Stupid People

chew.....then swallow

 

Park first before you get out of the car.

 

If youre wearing a snowsuit and pooping in the bush....make double sure your hood is in the clear

 

If youre taking a trip dont jump in front of the bus or train when it arrives so that it notices you, wait for it to come to a complete stop then enter through the door.

 

dont let a buddy give you a shopping cart ride....it always ends up hurting

 

Make sure you really trust the driver before you try hood surfing.

 

dont chugg the pickle juice

 

Especially if you haven't removed the pickles.

 

when you paint a floor......start away from the door

 

When you paper the walls, get the kids out of the room first.

 

double check the gas cap

 

If you're having trouble breathing make sure you're not underwater.

 

If you invite the new Avon lady in and her voice is a little too husky and her legs excessively hairy, maybe you could reconsider.

 

Never take a sleeping pill and a laxative together.

 

gas on the right...brakes on the left

 

Remember to put a bib on grandpa

 

Always follow this sequence without exception..... 1. Close microwave door......2. Press start...... remember 1. comes before 2. Good Luck.

 

Don't eat Mentos and drink Coke at the same time.

 

Never fill your supersoaker up with gasoline and spray a fire. (I'm guilty. Curiousity got the best of me. 10yrs old @ the time)

 

Go get a knife and kill yourself