Dont spank your kid and also BS

i want to bring back public duels
have an arena for it and everything

 

I am sorry but I must totally disagree with not spanking, I think younger people may agree more with you then the older ones and not necessarily because it was how they were raised, it's because they have seen the difference between the older, my parents will kick my butt generation, and the younger, I can do and act however I like without being punished generation.

 

I am not a parent so I like I said i can't hold fast my idea that spanbking is wrong for ALL kids. But in public, it's humiliating and abusive. Not only to the child, but to the people around you.
I terach a lot of parents alternatives to spanking their kids and they have worked really weel WHEN the parent has followed through.
My opinion on spanking is that it''s lazy parenting.
If my kids acting up in school I will go and sit in every one of his classes with him until he gets it together, not spank him when he gets home for a couple minutes and pretend everyonething's gravy and I'm a good parent.

 

Some kids will NOT learn any respect without getting a little physical. I call lazy parenting when the kid gets in trouble or does something bad, and the parent is affraid to punish the kid. Maybe send 'em to their room, or no playstaion for a week. What kinda bullshit is that?? It may work for some kids out there that have the built in maturity and respect, but most of these little fuckers I see today don't give a ratts ass because they can walk all over their parents.

I know for a fact that I wouldn't be the person I am today if my old man hadn't layed the smack down when it was needed. But you see he just didn't beat the fuck out of me and that was that. He would spank the fuck outa me, and send me to my room for a little while so I'd calm down. THEN he would come in there and talk to me about it. He'd make me understand why my ass is red, and tell me how much he loves me and how much he wants me to be a good person

 

the code duello really is the best way to settle anything.

 

When I saw this shit on the news about a week ago, I thought the kid was innocent. He said he came home and saw his dad's friend dead.. then when he went to look for his dad, he saw him dead too. then the detective or whatever jumped right into "how many shots did you fire to kill your father"....

the kid was most definitely confused in this situation. and even if he did kill them, like Yank said, he needs to be punished as a child.... because his actions were made with an 8 year olds mentality.. not an 18 year olds...

 

and as for spanking in public.... I think it's definitely an okay thing to do. kid's DON'T behave, and a lot of times aren't mature enough for you to handle them in a 'more acceptable' manner.....

I got spanked as a kid. AND I got soap in my mouth :cheers2:

 

Have you ever seen those children that slap their parents in the face and swear at them? Yeh, they agree with you.
However to use just physical punishment would be quite stupid. And as you say lazy parenting. You really need to use both to be effective.

 

Like I said, i am not a parent and I may change my mind when I am one.
But for now, everything I've studied and seen points to spanking kids as a very ineefective form of parenting in the LONG RUN.
I don't have kids yet, so I am def not criticizing anyone who does spank their kids or anyway they choose to parent. I don't have that right.
When the parents I work with ask what to do when their kids are screaming at them I tellt hem to take everything out fo their room, leave them with 7 outfits, a coat and their bed. The kids are in shick and the anger gets worse, but it's been very effective for all the families I work with IF the parents stick with it.
Another thing I do when I have a client who's acting out at school or being rude to the teacher, I go to their school an hour before our appoitment time and sit with them in class. i tell the kid it's because I want to make sure they are being treated fairly and are treating otehrs fairly or that they need to learn how to follow directions and obviously no one has taught them.
I have had two things happen; either the kid never acts out again in school OR they end up liking me being there (the younger ones usually) and want me to go to school with them everyday. Either way they learn how to act in school.
Whenever kids OR adults do aomething wrong I pretend they don't know any better instead of assuming they are bad.

 

You pick them up and leave wherever you are...doesn't matter if you have a full cart of groceries. Then take things away from them when you get home ebcause they didn't earn it by their behavior.
I tell parents to act like behaving is a child's job. If their not behaving they don't earn anything. I tell all of my kids the only thing they are ENTITLED to is a home with heat, running water, food and clothing. Everything else needs to be earned. They don't even need a door on their room if they can't be appropriate. take it off the hinges.

 

the pic of you in your sig reminds me of waylon jennings..:cheers2:

 

I completely agree that spanking isn't the answer -- and doubly agree with 'taking things away'... however, I doubt a lot of mom's out there have the TIME to just pick up and leave the food store if their child isn't behaving... especially not if they have more than one child...

spanking isn't the answer most of the time. but sometimes it'll get the job done - even if it's just for the moment

 

That is Arizona for ya...

 

Wow bella since when do we agree on the spanking debate?


I have ready far to many studies- and saw with my own eyes as a parent, that spanking is not the best discipline tool.So my daughter has never been spanked. hitting doesn't solve problems in our home.
I don't really care what other people do, something work better for others- I DO know there is no reason to spank ,and I do think it is a poor parenting choice, not my place to decide for others.

... i do however HATE to see people spank their kids in public. i don't know it is because of embarrassment for the child or parent. .but I hate seeing it, and really if you want your child to act in acceptable manner in public, what does spanking them in public teach them is acceptable?


As for the OP. The child should be tried as a child,and clearly needs therapy

 

It only takes one time usually though and you can then order in for you, your spouse and the other kids that behaved.
One time of leaving the store is a huge time saver in the long run and the peace of mind that you will most likely have awesomely behaved kids in public is wonderful.

 

Before I think I was disagreeing with you because I so badly wanted to be ont eh same page as my husband on this issue that I neglected my own beliefs. kinda push-over pathetic; eh?

 

It happened to us one time. HUGE meltdown, We left the store.Sucked because I had planned on getting something there.It ended and has never happened again.She was shocked we would turn right back out of the store.

My mom said she did the exact same thing ONCE with all (4) of us as well.

I can't see how spanking a kid in the store helps... this coming from someone who worked in a store and saw it all too often.

 

That is absolutley awesome.

 

Physical punishment was very prevalent when I was in school and a classmate acting out in class was an extreme rarity that I had personally never witnessed. My son tells me of his classes being so wild that the teachers will actually leave the classroom. In my youth we had the same amount of drugs and weapons available and there was no need to have police or metal detectors. Want to know my theory? Because Johny knew if he did something stupid he didn't have to worry about the police, he had to worry about his parents, that was the number one concern. Non-physical punishment is necessary but it is inaffective if it is the only punishment, if they cannot be physically enforced they will not be adhered to. Thats why police carry guns and night sticks, if there was no threat of personal injury people wouldn't stop for them. Do you get what I am saying?

 

I guess you guys are right. I mean -- my opinion really really really doesn't matter because I don't have kids and don't know how I'd deal with it if I did

but I mean - I am not a violent person by any means, and highly doubt I will use a spank to discipline my kid

I just know that I have babysat for some REALLY bratty children in the past -- and if I was his/her mother I couldn't help but to smack them.

I guess it stems back to poor parenting initially - which is why their child doesn't know how to behave.