I am a guy and have never been close to my dad and I think that has something to do with my self esteem. It is pretty low. I find myself seeking the approval of other men through promiscuous wanton gay sex acts where I de-mean myself as a sex object purely to please other men. I am not bad looking so plenty of other men are interested in me. In my mind, by being promiscuous and slutty, I am useful as something at least by satisfying other men's sexual needs. I have also done a few tricks. I just wonder where I can go from here or is this what I really am? I have tried to find other things but only this gives me any sense of accomplishment. I know life is not easy and people all have their demons like alcohol, drugs, gambling and such. So is this my fate and is anyone else in my shoes?
I'm pretty sure sex acts make everyone feel great about themselves because of the chemicals released in our bodies haha. WEll if it really makes you feel good ( I have a similar problem ..) as long as your being safe about it I don't see a problem. But you shouldn't bank ALL your self esteem on that. As for your dad, I can't really help you because I have a bad relationship with mine also. So yeah, I can say just talk to him sit him down.. but I know how hard it can be. Also, I don't understand... are you gay? like do you actually like these men or do you just like the sex acts? sorry just the title "self esteem and gay sex" confuses me =p If your saying your self esteem is low BECAUSE you perform gay sex acts... it shouldn't be. you should be completely happy liking whoever you want.
Sorry, I have to disagree with the "its alright if it makes you feel good" kind of thinking. You are obviously very intelligent and have uncovered the reasons for your sexual actions-this is something the majority if people never manage, so Id say well done for that. You have worked out that it is probably because of your poor relationship with your father that youre doing this. You also describe it as "demeaning", and you are seeking help and advice here. All these facts make me think you are unhappy with doing this and would rather get the whole faher stuff worked out in your head so you dont feel the need to do this stuff anymore. Please tell me if Ive got it wrong It sounds like you may just be gay (or bi. I wouldnt know from what youve given) but part of you isnt wholly into the whole "demeaning" stuff just to please other men I would advise working on confidence and self esteem, telling yourself you dont need any other mans approval but your own etc, and giving strength to what you really want. Maybe a decent relationship with a good, supportive man who doesnt just want ytu for sex would be good for you People do "have their demons", but it is not their fate Good luck
Well if you like it...then do it. I also have a shitty relationship with my father. Actually a pysically violent relationship, I was waiting on the other side of a door with mace and some brass knuckles. Luckily the piece of shit didnt walk in. So I say most fathers can go to hell. But there is no telling if this is you and your layed out future. Life is strange and anything has the ability to change. So the bottom line is to keep living and see what happens. Good luck buddy.
Good questions. I am bisexual since I also like some girls too. But I mention self esteem and gay sex because I prefer degrading types of sex with othe guys with me being the "bottom" and receiving from the other guys. Something inside me longs to be degraded and treated like a slut and I do enjoy it. I am very promiscuous and that's why I think I have low self esteem. I don't really care for these guys at all, it's strictly the sex acts and I don't want any type of real emotional relationship with men at all.
