dads

how many people in here have a crappy or abusive dad, or no dad at all because he left the family? it seems i have known alot of friends and people who either don't have one or have an abusive or hateful one. one of my best friends had an abusive one, luckily he's gone now from divorce, but she told me he pushed her down the stairs once. another friend of mine has had at least two step dads and he's never met his real dad, only recently he saw a picture of him for the first time...
many more people i've known say their dads are just mean and hateful or controlling, such as mine. what does this tell you about men? because of my dad it's hard for me to trust guys.
...just a thought... i think dads suck

 

I'm sorry that your dad made you not trust guys and I think that any dad who is a man and a husband should in no way abuse his children or wife or girlfriend. That is just unacceptable and if I would catch any man abusing a child, I'd have to make him aware physically what he's doing to his child. I'm 23 and I love my dad. I'm one of a rare few these days who still have their real father around and a happy family. I just hope everyone realizes that no matter what their fathers might have done to them, it's not their fault.

 

I hate my dad. I went from growing up without him because he had no custody from repeatedly trying to kidnap me to showing up about a year ago and forcing himself into my life and trying to buy me off and than doing horrible and bizarre things like saying that he wanted to leave his kids and wife so just the two of us could live together-I mean really weird. He did something unforgivable so I no longer have a relationship with him.

 

my dad didnt leave...
...we left him because he was crappy and abusive
i havent seen him since i was 2

 

Even though my dad and I sometimes do not geta long very well, its really just a personality clash. He is not abusuive and provided a good living for our family so I cannot complain, even though he annoys me sometimes.

It seems lots of people on here have abusive dads, but we all know plenty aren't as well. Plus, many people have abusive moms too.

quote: what does this tell you about men?

It tells me that you don't give men a fair chance because of your own experiences with you father. Thats a very insulting generalization

 

nah you can't not trust guys out there because of it though. Well I am being hypocritical in saying that I have a very hard time smoking weed with guys or getting drunk around them because of what happened and I have become a lot more sensitive emotionaly.But as far as trust goes bad things can happen whether you trust the person or not.

 

i had an abusive childhood but my since I left the house when I was 18, my relationship with my dad has improved alot.
however i will say, that since i had the childhood I had, I am afraid of becoming a parent (if that happens). I know I would never treat my kids the way I was treated, but I still get scared that my dad's violent tendancy will come out of nowhere one day....does that make sense?
But I don't think all dad's suck.

 

Y'know why your dad hates you? It's because you never. Stop. Bitching.

Seriously, shut up.

 

I love my daughter and I love my dad.

 

I have three dad figures...and two of them made me almost want to never get married...
My biological father knocked my mom up at a concert on Valentine's Day 1985...then left her because she was pregnant....Only to get with this bitch who was pregnant, and ADOPTED THE BABY GIRL!!! He left me and mom out in the cold while he raised a little bitch who doesn't realise how good she had it.

My adoptive dad came into my life when I was 8 months old. He adopted me when I was 3. He abused me mentally/physically/emotionall/sexually until mom and I left when I was 12. He told me when I was 8 that I wasn't a child. I was an adult. And far above any other instance in my life, that fucked me up horribly. I didn't play games, have friends, nothing. I stayed inside, cooked and cleaned, and shriveled into nothing. He owes me my innocence, my childhood, my self-esteem, and my chance to be an active, healthy child. or his head on a platter.

My step-dad has been in my life since I was 13. He's by far made up for the crap the other two put me through. He's been the dad-figure I've always needed. I'm thinking of taking his last name before I graduate college, so he can say that his daughter (he has no children of his own) graduated.

holly

 

I have something like that... My dad is here but not really here somethin happend to his head now he has dumb ass shit in his head. Dont work no more. Basicly just here to be here and make everyones day bad.

 

to hippyfreak, i think thats a great idea, to adopt his last name, and identify yourself with who you see to be your father. blood means nothing.

 

Yea, that's my thoughts....I can't change my past, or how I was wronged...but I can overcome it, and identify with something better, more positive.

holly

 

my dad has always been hella cool and has been there for me always, ( i am very lucky) My kid's dad tho, is fucked up, my oldest daughter hates him and hasnt visited him in over two years, (probably cuz, when she as 12 he called her nothing but whore, bitch, slut and ****, not to mention all the mental abuse he gave her) my middle daughter is pretty mixed up with her feelings towards him, she loves him a whole hell of a lot, but at the same time doesnt trust him, and my littlest daughter loves her daddy to death, (guess she was to young to realize what an mentally abusive prick he really is). I am pretty happy that she cant remember the bad times and that now he is actually trying to be a good father to at least two of our daughters.

 

i'ma good dad!!

my babies momma is off someplace, so i'm sitting here trying to ease the boredom...

oh how i miss the lil feller

 

I can't stand talking to my dad, let alone be in the same room with him. We just don't get along

 

my dad was abusive, but it's difficult to judge him because i really suspect he's mentally ill. he still gets violent rages from time to time, but he can't hit anymore because the muscles in his shoulders deteriorated to the point where he can't lift his arms. karma? there's still a lot of resentment and bitterness.

my son's biological father had severe problems with anxiety, even to the point of paranoia. he was very verbally abusive to me while i was pregnant. he was living in another state. he visited once, and i called him frequently and he used to put me down and say horrible things about the baby. he didn't see his child at all until he was several months old. he eventually said he wanted a relationship and even marriage, but his bahavior disgusted me so much that i said no. he stopped all contact around damie's 3rd birthday. we haven't heard from him since.

damie's stepdad, my soon-to-be-ex & my daughter's father moved in about the same time fritz disappeared. damien thinks of him as his father. after the divorce he will probaly continue to see damien as if he were his "real" son. he says he thinks of damie as his. suresh himself never knew his dad, and was raised in a violent environment. his relationship with damien is really intense, i think because he identifies with him. when they have good times, they're really close, but unfortunately he's also very critical and intolerant, and has a great deal of difficulty separating his own stress and anger from damien's discipline. he swears at him, puts him down, ignores him, or is very curt and cold. he takes out his anger at me on him, probably because he's the type of person who feels the need to bully someone smaller and weaker in order to feel powerful himself. damien's self-esteem is really suffering.

i have a lot of negative communication habits myself. i think that the entire family needs to learn and really concentrate on a more peaceful way of communicating. suresh thinks it's hippie garbage, and won't even go to counselling. this has a lot to do with why the marriage is ending.

 

my biological father left when i was four and i saw him off and on for 6 years. then he went to jail. just last year he got out and he brought me to florida and after 4 months he ditched me and went up north with his new girlfriend. and i had a stepdad who was not only abusive physically but mentally and emotionally as well. he was a complete asshole and when i was 11 he raped me. so i have never had a " father" i had a sperm donater

 

I love my daddy. He works hard, and he spoils me rotten. The only time he was ever harsh with me was when he caught me drinking when I was 14. I have a great dad, and I know I'm blessed.

 

My dad treated me poorly when I was a kid. But now that I'm an adult, he's apologized to me for all the crap he did so we get along great now. My mother's a different story. I'll never talk to her again.