How many of you old hippies are married or ever were married and how in the hell do you stay that way ??? I am a hippie girl married to a non hippie guy!!!Not working out well at all.......
I been with Matt for 29 years now , we got married in our home , and it was a combination , wedding , birthday party for our oldest boy who was tugging at my skirt during the ceremony for me to open one of his presents for him. We have stayed together because we are best friends. He is a hippie as well , so that helps.
Well....I can imagine that it helps when it comes down to some things , I cant imagine being with a straight laced , stern , stiff person that thinks theres only Black or White in this world ? Raising kids with such a person would present all kinds of walls because I would see things so different than that person , and there would be conflict over how to raise the kids.
Thank you...It has had its tough times just like other people...but being friends gets you thru those.
We havent been getting along well, I am alone ALL THE TIME because he works alot(I think its because he just doesnt want to be here) He says he loves me but he doesnt ever show it the way he talks to me is so cold sometimes.. He shows no emotion at all( I mean he admits he has problems with it) but its so hard for me.I have to keep my distance emotionally from him most of the time because if I show him any emotion I wont get any back.... So I try to pretend that it doesnt matter..It does matter alot to me that someone love me back... I told him all this and he tells me Im just being silly "Theres nothing wrong with me" thats another thing hes never wrong. ever about anything.. And Im just being silly.. I dont know what to do..
You absolutely need some counseling. Your husband is seriously locked up and your own behaviors may not be effective in dealing with the situation. Look in the phonebook under the county you live in for mental health services. There should be a clinic in your area with sliding scale fees for low income folks. Get some counseling at least for yourself if not for the both of you. Things are not going to get better by themselves. You need to take some action if you want to A. save the marriage or B. get out of a toxic situation. Good luck. You are not the only person in the world to have these type of problems. We all go through this or something like it. It's part of life. Get some help.
counseling?? poppycock.. i did the marriage counseling thing years ago,my observation, the counselor will make one of you the bad guy and demand the majority of change be put on the shoulders of one,when in reality there shouldnt have to be change at all there should only be acceptance and tolerance.. neither should need some book educated know it all to mediate.. dont waste your time or money.. the way i see it,you either have to learn to accept your spouse for who they are and tolerate what they do or move on..
Take a look at his "father figure" That is the person he learned from as he grew up and is probably the same way. He could change, but he's not going to unless he wants to change. Counseling didn't help my situation either and ended in divorce. I have now been married for 26 years to a different man who is my best friend. If you're not friends, your marriage won't work.
i agree with this statement 100% but i will take it one step further, if your not best friends and partners in all you do it will not work or it will be rocky at the very least.. there is no shame in walking away from a unhealthy relationship. holding on expecting things to change or get better only waste away the days of your lives.. its not fair to either party to walk through life unhappy with the situation simply because you made a commitment..
Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. There's good reason for that saying. Yes, you need to be friends. However, you will never see things exactly the same way. It's unlikely he will ever have the emotion you want him to have. Don't expect him to. Accept that the sexes are different and appreciate the differences. Don't try to eliminate them. Smile at them and joke about them. Try to make the inevitable conflict a friendly competition rather harmful friction. Remember, he is the yang to your yin. Of course there is the possibility that yoy two are incompatible. Counseling may help but it's a crapshoot. They are not all equal and some are idiots.
I feel very lucky, I am in a relationship with Brandon, and we have been really dating for over a year, and have been best friends for a little bit longer than 5 years. I am a hippie and he is too, so we have very similar ideas about eating and drinking, using drugs, raising children and educating them, where we want to live, and what kind of goals we want to accomplish. We also have a similar time line. I find that this has helped our relationship become very strong. We do fights, every couple does, but we both want to reconcile after a bit of yelling so it is very easy to forgive each other. So the point of my whole long story is that Brandon and I are extremely happy, and planning to get married soon, and this is because we are best friends, and because our ideas and goals compliment each other. We also have a wild sex life so thats a huge fucking plus
