Do you believe you were born gay?

Hi Guys,

I'm just wondering how many of you feel like you were born gay?

I was having an argument with my mom the other night. She is no longer religious, but she was for a very long time and is having a hard time letting go of some of her biases. One of those is towards gay marriage.

So I said to her "To discriminate against someone because they were born gay is like discriminating against me for being born left handed."

And she responded "I don't believe they are born gay."

In which I responded "You know why I think they were born gay? Because that's what most of the them fucking say! Why not believe them?"

To which she responded, "Not all of them say they were born gay!"

The conversation didn't end there, but I thought I might come ask you guys directly if she is right and if some of you actually feel like you weren't born gay?

 

I'm supposing that your mum believes that people choose to be gay??
Or that they can help it in anyway??

Try and raise the point (if it's still ongoing) that the majority of gay people, me included, get/got so much shit from people when they come/came out. So many people don't accept the fact that everyone deserves to be happy, so they try and ruin others' happiness.

Try and raise the point to her that:
Why the hell would anyone choose to be gay if there are so many people who hate gays??
And I'm not trying to say that I want to be straight, because i really don't but i wouldn't choose to be gay if i was straight at some point in my life.

Similarly, i can't wake up one day and just choose to be straight XD

So to answer your question, Yes, I believe i was born Gay.

(by the way, if it sounded like it, i wasn't having a go at you, i was just ranting XD)

~G
xXxXx

 

Thanks for the response. Anyone else feel they chose to be gay instead of was born that way? I know I was born straight. Sometimes I wish I were gay. You guys seem to have so much fun and be so much more free. and for the most part you dont seem to have all these sexual hangups that straight people seem obsessed with.

 

I don't think I was born gay or that I chose it. I think some people choose because they want attenion or in your case like the idea of it so they force themselves to like the same sex. Some people are born homosexual and have no choice. But in my case I think problems in my life caused me to become gay.

It was a combinaton of the media portraying a boyfriend as romantic and often protecting. Whenever a girl is crying in the movies he does something to make her feel better. I had a very bad childhood in which I needed someone like that because my 3 best "friends" were years older than me and periodically raped me or beat me. My Dad was emotionally distant and wouldn't even hug me because he was such a homophobe he thought even telling his son "I love you" was too close to being homosexual. And my mother was abusive. In short I had no one to show me love and the first person to do it was a boy in 8th grade (there was a girl before then but we weren't really friends she was just the one person in the whole school who didn't torture me). Everything I had known pointed at guys as the only one to make you feel better in my situation. So I was gay and there were times I had an attraction to women but only 2 times did I have an emotional connection with them.

 

Very interesting iman. I guess I assumed that all gay people were born gay. Being born straight I can't imagine what would have to happen to turn me gay. But perhaps I just cant imagine it because I have not experienced it myself. I can totally understand what your saying.

People are very tribal, and if you not extremely alpha as a male, it can be a brutal system. Looking to stronger men for protection in a hostile environment is totally understandable. I'd be interested to hear similar stories of people who fell that life experience turned them gay.

 

I feel that my attraction to people of the same sex is inherent and I don't have any choice in the matter.

Acting on those feelings/attractions is a choice that I make.

 

Yes I was born that way.

My parents sent me to Love In Action, an ex gay camp in tennessee. It was god awful. They try to turn you straight and of COURSE it does not work.

And at the end of the day, it should not matter why one is gay. If someone falls in love with a soul, be it female or male - let it be.

 

Speak for yourself, you don't speak for me.

 

It has already been proven that male homosexuals are born gay. There is a mutation on their X chromosome.

 

You will always meet exceptions to the rule, but please know that the majority of us - gay straight or bi- do not choose who we find attractive.

 

i DO think some poeple choose to be gay in a way that they say they are and convince themselves they are, just as some gay people live their whole lives convincing themselves they are strait.

I ACTUALLY beleive that every person has the ablility to love anyone, but its their genetic make up that makes them favor one sex eqally or more than the other. and im not talking genetic make up as mutation, im talking the same type of genetic make up that desides your personality. its just a trait you have and you do not choose it

 

Well, my own theory is that you're born bisexual and develop your preferences during early life. Your brain chooses for you, but i'm in strong agreement that no one on this earth would willingly "choose" to get so much shit that we do. Just remind you mother that she probably couldn't take all the shit in a week a gay person takes in a day.

 

Yes, I would agree with your mother. I no longer believe we are born gay, but I do believe we are born with characteristics that are pretty much going to cement the deal.

Everyone wants the simple answer, aint going to happen, its a couple things going on at once; What's Preprogrammed, Early Childhood, Family / Peer influences, Physical characteristics. First sexual experience and first love also big influences


In the end everyone further away from average ends up getting more attention from the same sex than those closer to average, much of that attention nothing to do with sex

The choice part? We all like to believe our fate is in our hands, has just as much to do with how the other 98% of the population defines us as anything else. No use preaching choice to a gay person everyone assumes is gay anyway

 

How do you CHOOSE WHO you are ATTRACTED to?

Seriously, speak for YOURSELF. I did NOT choose to be gay. Maybe YOU did, but not me.

 

i dont think i was born gay or chose to be gay i believe i just am lol

i've never reallt known anything different i am a big believe in fate and believe i was meant to be gay and i have no issue with that .

 

I'm not really sure. Looking back on my early childhood I can see how I looked up to guys and definitely see signs that showed I was gay, etc. So in that sense, I feel like I was born gay.

But I don't think I can say that I know that FOR SURE. NO ONE can. In another way, I sometimes feel like everyone has no sexual orientation given to them at birth, and that environmental factors determine who one feels attracted to. Love, relationships, and sex are all such powerful, emotional things, and I dont think that anyone could be completely gay or completley straight. Love and sex and relationships cross boundaries, though we sometimes prevent them from doing so. How do we do that? I don't know, I think that its a subconcious thing, or that we get used to the norms of ours lives.

My general belief is that there need be no explanation for homosexuality. Although it's undeniable interesting to ponder the possibilities...

 

i've questioned it in the past. the furthest i can remember is grade 5 to grade 8 when i didnt have any feelings towards men at all, but in those years i didnt have many friends and spent most of my time at home with 3 sisters, 1 who was very touchy feely in a dumb silly way...i heard and saw things guys usually shouldnt see or deal with and even before grade 5(time where i cant remember), i feintly feintly remember being "experimented" on by a certain sibling, which i don't want to remember if it did happen...anyways my point is after being exposed to all of this i began to see older men in a different way at some point in grade 8. after months and years past my attraction grew and grew and now im attracted to guys left and right. i believe we are born gay but in the back of my mind i think theres a possibility that theres the .1% that arent born into any sexuality? and its a mixup for whatever depending on how you were grown up if that makes any sense. shrug

 

I do not believe that I was born a homosexual. I feel that I have the potential to love anyone, whether they be male or female. Just to be clear, I do not believe that homosexuality is a choice. There are homosexual animals, and the main purpose of most species of animals, as I'm sure many of you know, is to proliferate. That is, to make as many of their species as possible in their lifespan. Animals don't, or cannot choose to be homosexual, it is just an act of nature. There are theories that homosexuality is nature's response to overpopulation.

 

It's an old cliche that life isn't black and white, and the same goes for human sexuality. I have a hard time believing that anyone is born gay-- a lot of that is people reinforcing certain kinds of behavior and trying to label you for easier understanding, I think. And of course, for people who are struggling for an identity it's so easy to decide that this is their 'thing', and it sets them apart from the rest.

So if the question is whether or not people are born to match some dreamed up concept designed to make people easier to understand, then of course the answer is no.

 

Actually, I want to add that I think people who decide to 'come out', aren't necessarily realizing that one kind of sex defines them better as a person, more like they just want to change themselves because they're unhappy with who they are. This happens all the time, throughout life... people get unhappy with their lives and need to break out of a certain pattern, and 'coming out' or experimenting with gay sex is the way that they go about doing it. But it could just as easily involve joining a gym or learning a musical instrument or hanging out with a different crowd... it's all just another way of trying to find happiness.