Hi my name is Peter. I am gay. I've been trying to fully come out of the closet for some time now but I'm not having 100% success. I am having trouble coming out to my father. My father has always had sexist and homophobic views. I've tried to live up to his standards all my life and I fear that telling him would be a big disappointment to him. I think my mother knows but she ignores it in the hopes that it'll go away. She's always been the more understanding of the 2 of them so I'm sure she'll be able to cope. My relationship with my father is the one I'm afraid I may cause irreparable damage to. I've gotten advise from friends that the best way to do it is just like pulling off a bandaid. It sounds easy and logical until I'm sitting there looking at my father's face knowing what can of worms I may be opening. I've tried countless times but I could never go through with it. I've even gone as far as acting a bit sexist myself in front of him thinking it'll earn his respect. It's quite sad at times. We're members on some of the same a/v forums and I put on the "act" to keep things on an even keel. It's pathetic but it's my life right now. Peter Marlowe highdefforum reviewer
Why do you try so hard to please him? After all, this is your life. See, i'm 22, gay, all my friends know, but i never came out to my family. I know that's the kind of things they would, or will disapprove, and i don't feel ready to just lose it all. So i live my life on my side, when they ask, i say i'm single (which is true, i have some hook-ups, that's all, and they don't have to know such details). Just live your life for yourself, stop trying to be who they want you to be. You say your mum keeps ignoring things, then just let go. Don't say anything, live your life, it's not like they were about to ask you the question, right?
Well, my father is a racist homophobe, but I tell him I'm gay all the time just to spite him (I am actually gay), I think he's getting the hint but I'm not that bothered about him hating me that much because i know he'd get over it in time I'm just worried about his oldfashioned views. Your situation is so much like mine, but I don't feel the need to come out to someone unless I have to. I'm not one for forcing my sexuality on people, if they don't want it then why should i tell them? Don't worry too much everything will fit into place buddy. Just live and let live for the moment.
