Scientific Mind-Expansion

I'm and open book. Though I wouldn't even know where to begin (and I am also hesitant to do so in person; if I sit there and make you listen to me, I force that on you; if you read it, you are doing that of your own accord). And if you think you can judge me, you cannot even begin to understand.

This started as a post on hipforums.com

Has anyone found any info on scientific approaches to mind-expansion?
Some thing similar to this: http://deoxy.org/meme/The_Neuropharmacology_of_an_Eight_Circuit_Brain

Oh. And I got started on a much larger dialogue from here (if any readers are interested).

I think I would benefit from a near-death experience (maybe DMT, if that map is accurate - thought I would most likely benefit from experience with LSD and psilocybin prior to encountering DMT) - I would like to think suicidal ideations are me searching for higher terrors to face (such as a moving train); terror's only learning to operate at unfamiliar points of existence. I am all demons, and I can face any hell; I'm used to them. What's in between death and birth? Every answer you forgot on the way to manifest in this universe the God(dess) you met in between death and birth. The One between lives, different for every One; but only different to fill the missing pieces to experience Union, which is not Union at all as much as becoming God by becoming whole-as-Self. Messiahs are whole-in-them-selves. They already have all the pieces, and you can only hope to know them as grace.

[//And I can remember that moment when personal identity dropped out, and I was grace-imperfect. And then I stopped sleeping... And somebody told me grace was femininity, that self-changes as grace-embodied were 'a malevolent feminine spirit had entered my body'; but I would be better off forgetting such things are possible, have been experienced by this body]

\\\\And I remember moving in and out of mirrors as existences I could partition some higher reality which I could continue to integrate and manifest yet could not apprehend in totality. Then there was some me called So(u)l moving in between the worlds. Was like nothing changed while everything changed. Remember, now, much more of reality is representational-symbolic - think cultural dramas - than we would care to consider; add metaphysical implications of non-locality and observer-generated-universe-cyclical (universe does not exist without observer) and it gets more surreal.////

People tellin' me I'm still experiencing heartbreak are not capable of telling me much about how existence has changed. 'Heartbreak'. Try deconstructing that. I don't think that could mean something similar to any two people or in any two instances experienced by the same body.

Even introducing temporal dissonance there are not the multiple selves seemingly presented of memories of 'you'.

Memories involve different selves that hold continuity and primary likeness only bound to body-as-seal.

You know I don't exist, right? There are memories. I'm gone as soon as I anchor my Self with another thought, another you brought about by thought, will, attention, ego... (fucking kill me until I am good enough; ... And let it all drain out until I am wrapped in that pure somekindof love again; that time I left the body, as some have said. That time I stopped feeling pain, hunger, fatigue for several days; self-anesthesia. The body, as instrument for spirit, became another tool to be cared for - lest it's functionality be impaired, lest the vessel be torn asunder as the starmaps began to pull psychonautic-selves-unprepared(?) (reflected in shards, crystalline and beautiful, composing the mutation-chamber reality as moving self-recursion beyond notions of infinity) towards deep space travel - by God-Consciousness transcending.

Fuck! And I think it's just the music (but my problems are never 'just the music'). Makes me think of Brave New World, social engineering, society relinquishing humanity for that numb bliss. They're all trained to songs. There's something in music deeper than messages, lyrics, 'style'. Maybe deeper than the fuzzy-flash-towards- grey-tone-scaled-towards-reality words soundin' of perception.

And I need new symbols. I need new depths of expression. To list the most immediate one, I want a double '-', one above the other, like the double-bond symbols in chem maps. But it wouldn't mean that, as much as designating of flows split folding how I build new wor(l)ds matched-hyphen. I would have one between 'grey' and tone and one between 'fuzzy' and 'flash' in the last sentence of the previous paragraph. I would also like to use some curved-spatial relationship-marker 'grey' and 'scaled'.

And I remember why math, physics, chemistry, and biology are intelligently cool; I don't think I want to think about what I used to want to aspire to.

Really, I need to be makin' music. Painting. And all those other things I would have been person-of if I were ever me.

Hahaha. Let me die playin' failed messiah dropped over slipknot halo. No. In front of a moving train, fallin' from every height (I've been fallin' since I had somewhere to fall from).

And if that heartbeat recursive dwells in the ghost haunting the guitar, the instrument of expression, rather than the wells of knowledge, the dreams of the architect, why does this hell-manifested, drawn you all out to to genocide, - and it's all still here; but I don't know how to fight everything I have have immersed myself in, everything this people, most peoples that remain outside the murdered, oppressed, exploited peoples value, accept, protect, 'need'. You know we may be better off if the indigenous could have a counter-genocide against the civilized. Against me.

And I ought not lace identities like that. Jensen seems to know better; but I am them and not them and I am god and devil and man and woman and living and dead and contradiction-beautiful-pain-exquisite.

Honestly, I think I would benefit from psychedelic experience regardless of the map's usefulness. And, of course, I'm still suffering from acute bio-survival anxiety (according to the symptoms listed on eight-circuit psych-maps). I don't know if I started tripping on adrenaline this summer (at some point I stopped sleeping; and as that began to affect me, I also stopped eating for a while)

And in some way I do time-travel when I dream, though this is a somewhat crude metaphor for the sur-reality of the concept. I find that the dream-body fills in many missing pieces for the reality/world-convergence theoretically occurring upon 'perfect grace'. It's more complicated than that; but I hope you can somewhat understand what I am trying to express.

The night began with "Leary was a fucking genius" (actually, there was one anchor-point of that element of thought-body at the doorway; but I don't remember what it was anchored to). I think I spent a lot of that time trying to pretend I wasn't there; but that I was, which isn't peculiar for me. I enjoyed dancin' though. Charades, still tryin' not to be there. I was so happy to see wonderful Lauren in cooviful [cool-groovy-?] dress come back downstair with the beautiful bubbler. I wasn't sure how much I got off the first hit, seemed to have difficulty flame-catchin' that wonderful nug'. Second time around, I surely had enough. No. There's never enough because there's never too little. And never too much.

We stopped charades (thank God-dess) and moved to freeze dancin'. At first I simply tried to stay in my syle, that shuffle, high movement, good exercise, fun for me. Then I had this sort of thought-feeling "Every body in this room wants to have sex with at least one other person here. And I would be entirely unsurprised if (at least) one person here had me in mind" So then I danced with some people for about (four minutes) before introverting everything back towards Learian (Eight Circuit) psychology. Thinking about "I think I just shifted entirely into fourth circuit consciousness through a third circuit realization... Wait, I just smoked weed (supposedly fifth circuit substance)... And all the circuits overlap to form so many different kinds of immediate-self (wet-ware configs active).... 'Active placebo' (perception of using that substance produces primary effects experienced; that perception can also migrate to the sensation exclusively produced by the drug, then to that sensation independent of use of drug) - and an idea like that moves me to consider more than I and I can begin to understand - stop dancing, starting thinking - deeply.

Ashley asks "Did you stop dancing so that you can be [non-movement] when the music stops?" Some one wants to think she's 'a dumb bitch'; but I don't think things like that. Besides, she must think I'm 'special' (or retarded high) to ask something like that (and of course that's still rooted in my perception of the imagined type that would answer 'yes' to that question; it's only mu-me in the desert of mirrors). Still a stupid question. Or not.

Start thinking "I need to die" (those thoughts don't seem in any way strange to me; nothing seems strange to me anymore). I am acting as capitalism in some way now; I would prefer that people do not become more like me. I don't think Deleuze an Guatarri have their interpretation quite right (but I need to read it any way to see how that story ends). Million different things to consider.

[Hahaha. At some point when I spoke with Rich at da party about what life means, I was asked "What crisis are you going through?" At first, I didn't remember that being institutionalized, locked up for two weeks, ODed (and subjected to some somewhat more direct violence at points), counted as crisis. Doesn't seem strange to me. Doesn't seem that bad compared to so much of my experiences, life, childhood and whatever. Another shotgun to the soul, see how it rebuilds itself]

And it all boils down to "I shouldn't be here"; I shouldn't be.
And you might agree if you knew me better.
If you could know me and think objectively about whether I should live or die.
And of course I can't say I ought die. Maximizing the ethical potential of my body, I would do better to not get caught than to go down fighting (walking the radical path), not that I can feel that righteous fury any more.

If divine wind were to sweep away all those who ought not be, I would be swept away as well. Suicide can be holy.

Seppuku. Kamikaze. That's not me. There is no suicide. There is no death. They are all cultural representation and cultural dramas in which people manifest those representations and act out what they have seen others perform.

I can still see my own vague understandings of those cultural concepts, even if they are not my own. The second my own is what I 'live as': No one.

"Spit for the hated, the reviled, the unrefined
The no ones, the nobodys, the left behind"
Buts I'm not quite in that jig.

Nor are answers coming from Metzingers "On Being No One", though neuro-science examining phenomenal self-representations are one of the coolest analytical tools I've seen in a while.

But I want to leave every body (including me) behind. I'm sorry you met me. And I'm sorry (assuming) that you feel sad or awkward reading this, hearing me say how I really feel about how I am happening now.

 

i had trouble following your post, but you dont seem a happy chappy

if you really think nothing can seem strange anymore, or terrorise you enough, then psychedelics are definately your next step lol best to do so before jumping in front of trains at least.

i didnt really get how this was about scientific mind expansion though?