In honor of Tom & Katie

I just received this by e-mail. I can't vouch for its complete accuracy, but it matches what I've read elsewhere:

Once upon a time, 75 million years ago, there was an alien galactic ruler named Xenu. Xenu was in charge of all 76 planets in this section of the galaxy, including planet Earth, which then was called "Teegeeack".

Xenu had a problem. All 76 planets were overpopulated. Each planet had on average 178 billion people. He wanted to reduce the overpopulation, and so he devised a plan.

Xenu took complete control with the help of renegades to defeat each planet’s good people and the Loyal Officers. Then, with the help of psychiatrists, he collected billions of people, ostensibly for income tax inspections, where they were instead given injections of alcohol and glycol mixed to paralyze them. They were then put into space planes that looked exactly like DC8s.

These space planes then flew to planet Earth where the paralyzed people were stacked around the bases of volcanoes. H-bombs were then lowered into the volcanoes. Xenu detonated the H-bombs at the same time and everyone was killed.

However, since everyone has a soul, called a "thetan", Xenu had to trick the souls from not coming back. So, while the hundreds of billions of souls were being blown around by the nuclear winds, he had special electronic traps that caught the souls in electronic beams.

He then packed all these trapped souls into boxes and took them to several huge cinemas. There the souls spent days watching special 3D motion pictures that told them a myriad of confusing ideas. This process was called "implanting".

When the films ended, the souls left the cinemas and started to stick together, or "cluster", because they had seen the same films and thought they were the same people. They stuck together into a few thousand clusters. Now, because there were only a few living bodies left, the clusters inhabited these bodies.

As for Xenu, the Loyal Officers finally overthrew him and locked him away in a mountain on one of the 76 planets. He is imprisoned by a force-field powered by an eternal battery. Xenu is still alive today.

Today, every human is full of these clusters of souls, or "body thetans". For humans to free their own souls, they must remove these body thetans. They do so by the (paid) process of "auditing", which involves numerous successive levels.

This story is the core belief of the religion known as Scientology.

 

You got it absolutley right. You can learn more about Xenu at; Xenu.com.

Those Scienos are fruitcakes.

 

no clustered thetans on me

 

Is that what those are? I thought they were just zits.

 

Actually you only have one thetan located in the back of your head. I don't know where these clusters came from.

 

hm.... sounds about right. That's it, I'm converted.

 

Wait my bad, there are thatans clustered on you, they can only be removed when you are past the level of clear and actually hit one of the highest level of operation a Scientologist (or anyone for that matter) can achieve: OT 3, it stands for Operating Thetan level 3.

 

question about this clusters of souls - when you ''remove'' them where they go?

1. possibility - they stay free around. question - why aren't they stayed free in the first place after those explosions but cramm in only few bodies?

2. pos. - you force them in all others, yet unliberated bodies, meaning us - ''unlightened'. question - is that fair? should we feel threatened maybe and start some kind of anti-sci war?

3. pos. - you kill all that souls. question - isn't that animacid? why that evil emperor dude whazzit name didn't kill them in first place but put them in our bodies?

if we all accept scientology and achieve one-thet-per-body status is that means all that souls are screw, or we must start fuck each other vigorously to make enough new bodies. if we make enough bodies for all souls, is that mean creating stops and further-on only existent souls well be recycled?

 

I don't have an answer for that I'm afraid.

 

I heard that you can become clear for a total price of $380,000, sounds like a good deal. But dont say anything bad about Scientology if you become a member, because then other members have the right to physically harm you, antagonize you or use other methods to keep you quiet. Nothing but a massive hoax that a few dumbass celebrities have been suckered into.

http://www.rotten.com/library/religion/scientology/

 

Sorry. It's not $380,000. It's alot less. Scientology has to charge $$$ because they don't have hundreds of years of wealth to sit on like every other religon. Expanding a religon costs an extravagant amount of money. You have to build the church, order supplies, furnish it, hire employees, train workers, purchase essential equipment, and etc. It's not free. So they have to charge people. People act like, if you pay the money, you automatically are clear. WRONG! If you work hard for weeks upon weeks, and dedicate yourslef, you can becoome clear. Who here has actually visited a Scientology church? They can do amazing work. They can cure epilepsy, migraines, back pains, anything stemming from a psychosomatic cause (70% of all illnesses). How can you condemn something without giving I a chance? I could go on a rant about how disgusting root beer is, but unless I've tried it, I'd just be basing my ranting on a select fews opinions of people who think root beer tastes like dog piss. Oh and members can't physichally abuse you. That's illegal and they'd be shut down in a second. Please find something logical to discuss. *Sigh* why won't people let this thread die??? WTF happend to religous tolerance? I could go arpound and talk shit about every religon here, but I accpet peoples deepest beliefs. They are entitled to their opinion and beliefs. But I guess if you believe in the idea that Scientology can help, you aren't so lucky.

 

it's called learning on the experience of other people. it's not necessary that every single person try something and suffer possibly permanent damages just to find out something is wrong. btw root beer is wrong example, try with hitting yourself on finger when hammering nails. it hurts, believe me, no need for you to try out.

we don't let this tread to die from same reason they are recruiting new members. it's a competition for people of some kind. btw, ask yourself, why nobody feel necessary to fight against budhism, for example. it's peaceful, not searching for enemies by the way of inventing them, not recruiting. every ''real'' budhist will explain his-her religion to you if you ask nicely, and if you ask ''should i become budhist'' most of the sincere answers will be ''who cares''. no pressure, no blackmail, no extortions. to understand each other, i'm atheist, i'm just comparising. but point is if you think after some time that budhism is not for you, nobody will stop you. and there wouldn't be suddenly thousands of dollars in unpayed lectures.

and yes, *sigh* indeed. those questions wasn't for me because i'm interested in answers, but for you to start asking yourself. christians wrote thousands of pages of explanations on every page of bible because it's old religion. scientology is young so you can ask doubtful questions without long confusing philosophycal answers. there are no logical answers to those questions. read thorougly that ex-sci member's web site.

 

Sorry. It's not $380,000.

Price depends on what level of "clarity" you seek, the estimated cumulative cost the reach the OT IX level of Scientology is $380,000. Yes, Scientology can help people as well as other religions, but when it costs an amount of money to get to a certian level of spirituality then it gets out of hand and points to a scam. The Catholic Church used to do and probably still does the exact same thing, if you make a generous donation to the church the preist can find a way to get you into heaven and your sins are forgiven. As for religious tolerance, thats what this site is about, the thread is basically a debate. I tolerate other peoples religions but I do have the right to say what I think of them. You can go right ahead and beleive in Scientology, all I'm saying is I think its a scam.

 

Well the thing is you don't just toss the church some dough, or write em out a check and that's it. They don't just take out the old Scientology OT sword, and knight you OT:Level 1-15. You have to be dedicated and work at it. They will be willing to help you achieve these higher levels of existence, no matter what it takes, but at this point and time, the Church is forced to require monetary compensation for their services.

 

Anyway,congrats to Tom and Katie! I hear in a poll taken of fans,the most popular name for the baby is "Xenu."

 

That's about it....

 

Scientology is doing wonders for Tom's career.

 

So 2cool, care to share the price list with us?

I'd like to see pics of the real price list, since you are so confident that $ci does not cost that much $.

 

Cost of Scientology auditing (as of 2006)[12][13] Processing step Intensives required (approximate) Cost per intensive or course Total cost (approximate)
Life Repair 2 × 12.5 hr $5,600 $11,200
Purification Rundown $2,560 $2,560
TRs & Objectives 2 × 12.5 hr $5,600 $11,200
Drug Rundown 2 × 12.5 hr $5,600 $11,200
ARC Straightwire 2 × 12.5 hr $5,600 $11,200
Grade 0 3 × 12.5 hr $5,600 $16,800
Grade 2 2 × 12.5 hr $5,600 $11,200
Grade 3 2 × 12.5 hr $5,600 $11,200
Grade 4 2 × 12.5 hr $5,600 $11,200
New Era Dianetics 3 × 12.5 hr $5,600 $16,800
Clear Certainty Rundown 1 × 5 hr $2,800 $2,800
Total to Clear $128,560
*Solo Course Part 1 - $3,200 $3,200
*OT Preparations 2 × 12.5 hr $3,300 $6,600
*Solo Course Part 2 - $1,900 $1,900
*OT Eligibility 2 × 12.5 hr $3,300 $6,600
*OT I $2,000 $2,000
*OT II $3,800 $3,800
*OT III $6,500 $6,500
OT IV ?2 × 12.5 hr $6,500 $13,000
OT V 4 × 12.5 hr $7,400 $29,600
OT VI set-ups 2 × 12.5 hr $9,250 $18,500
OT VI 12,800 $12,800
Pledge Intensive 1 × 12.5 hr $9,250 $9,250
OT VII $3,500 $3,500
OT VII C/Sing (per year) over 2 years $3,200 $6,400
OT VIII $10,000 $10,000
OT VIII auditing ?2 × 12.5 hr $7,400 $14,800
Total to OT VIII $277,010

 

Take it cash in advance. Guarantee nothing. Make sure you stress its spiritual slant and value. Steer clear of promising cures. AND DON’T rush them into auditing. They’ll beg for it soon enough.
Actually do this to be of service to man. Try to give it away. You’ll find you can’t. Don’t use this just because it’s a ‘preclear getter’, it’s a lot more than that. It will put you in financial condition and get your church going.
”
—L. Ron Hubbard, Ability, September 1955