Convo it up

well me and 2 friends were gonna go to an away football game for our school tonight, and blaze up on the way. and this other kid in our school was gonna drive.. were not really friends with him.. more like aquaintances .. he's prolly the biggest dealer in our school but anyway my 2 friends were chillin before the game, i was at work, and they hadnt texted me yet. when i called up the kid whos drivin us he said he has no room in his car, cause hes takin this scummy kid that i dont like instead of me now...maybe he didnt know i was comin.. so i said fuck that im not asking if i can come too, when i was gonna go in the first place.. the whole thing was MY idea..

so yah i'm in a shitty mood now lol

 

Damn man, that shit sucks.

 

plus i told my girl i was going, so she went out to eat with her fam so now i'm sittin at home, weedless, alone, with nothing to do...bored as FUCK

 

it'll be better if you send me some of that WW

 

Let's hope it is at least some good dank. I don't care about the strain, as long as it is a good one.

 

i certainly did have a siesta. slept from like 4-6, then got chinese food with my mum .

it's this real small local college called wilkes. it has a pharmacy program, which i could probably get into really easily, but i really don't want to go there. i want to go to a big school, i always have.

@maxwell- that sucks. i hate the feeling of getting ditched. it makes me feel so worthless

 

I can't wait to leave, I am soooo bored.

 

i can't wait to read/work on my ACT prep book...

 

Which one do you have? I have the princeton one.

Time for me to leave though. Ill tty all later tonight!

 

eres de por alla, no de por ahi...

 

i think i have that one too, the crash course one that's not too thick right? right now i'm working on one that's called "the real act prep guide", which is like 29384723984 pages. i'm going to do that princeton one like a week before the test though.

 

OOhhh baby jesus, I am so sick right now. Ragin' day two of the fever, good times. I feel like my brains a melthin' away. Looks like I'm staying in tonight

 

if one more day for me goes horribly wrong i am seriously running away or just ending it because life is pretty shitty for me and i can't deal with it anymore.

/rant

 

What happened, Tay?

 

well yesterday i was supposed to go to the school talent show with my friend (we'll call her jane). she told me to come to her house at like 5:00 so i mad my mom drive me there and i called her and i was like where are you? she wasn't even fucking home. she didn't come home till like quarter after because she was out buying blunt wraps with this kid she likes, (we'll call him mike). so they decide to show up and she invited me in and she just takes me inside until my mom leaves then she packs me up in mikes car and they drive to this kids house and just went in his backyard to smoke and shit. well this kid idk if he even new we were at his house but jane and mike and me sat on his back porch. at this point i'm feeling very awkward because i'm at some kids house i don't know with jane and this kid mike i seriously met 5 minutes earlier. so they smoke this big nice smellin blunt. in my face. then had cigs. they offer me a hit? no. did they even offer me a cigarette? no. but i guess it wasn't my place to ask since i didn't pay a dime for anything. then we load back up in his car and this kid is so fucking high hes driving all over the road and i seriously thought i was gonna die. so then they're all like lets go get more weed! so they're driving to one of the most suspicious places in my town to score and i was like you know what? jane, you know i don't like driving all over the place and just wandering around doing nothing with this loud ass music blaring and makes all over the road and this car smells like fucking weed. so mike took me home and i got out of the car and they just drove off. no bye, see you, kiss my ass, nothing. so i was fucking pissed and i kicked the closest thing to me and it just happened to me this huge metal trashcan and it fucking flew and has a huge dent in it and i had to go to the ER to get my foot looked at so at this point i'm already mad as shit at jane.

so today, the very first thing i see when i get to school is jane hanging all over my ex, which was hard for me to watch since he hates me and for some reason i still love him and i still care about him soo much and shes just fucking like limp on his shoulders. so i tried my best to stiffle my anger and keep from screaming and beating the shit out of someone, but then in directed study (right after lunch) jane comes into class and was like guess who i sat with all lunch? and i was like who. and shes like (my ex)! and then she went on to say how awesome he is, and how amazing he is and how sweet and funny and smart he seems. and i was like jane, can you please stop? she was like why? and i was like because you know how i feel about him you know it makes me sick to think about him and she was like why? hes awesome. i was like just because. that should be a good enough reason like he makes me sick theres no need to delve into my personal feelings and shit and she was like you need to hang out with him more and i was like jane no he makes me fuckin sick! so she totally disreguards what i just said and continues to talk about him and she was like why i'm hanging out with him after school today. he was just so fucking chill i just had to ask him to hang out. omg i totally fucking lost it at this point.

we have i sit in one of those old wooden desks and i just fuckin threw my fists down so hard on it it just fuckin snapped right down the middle and janes like taylor stop i'm sorry!!! i'm thinking oh now you're fucking sorry after you continued to talk after i asked you not me and drove me into a psychotic break? like i'm not already unstable enough and this just fuckin tipped me and i ran into the bathroom and my teacher sends in a lady to try to talk to me and i was like just leave me the fuck alone! so she clears everyone out so my real teacher could come in and talk to me and i was like leave me along jesus fucking christ like at this point i'm freaking out and they don't understand what leave me the fuck along means and i almost broke the stalls in the fucking bathroom, so after him trying to negotiate with me for like 10 minutes he goes to get the principal to unjam the stall door and i ended up spending the rest of the day with all my ES teachers and shit like taylor don't you wanna talk about it?! i know how you feel!! i know this must just be killing you inside!!

so i get on the bus to go home and my friend, well call her ann, was like don't worry you can come chill at my place i'm just gonna run home and take a quick shower (shes one of those girls that showers like 3 times a day) and i'll be by to pick you up. so like two fucking hours go by and she calls me "hey taylor i forgot to call you and tell you i'm at a party in (a town a half hour away) and i can't hang out tonight, sorry.

like seriously, i guess it doesn't sound all that bad but it feels alot worse than it sounds

 

Wowza, I'm sorry things have been so shitty lately, ladylove. And I'm sorry to say it, but this "Jane" girl doesn't really sound like a friend. It is girl code that basically exes of your good friends are off limits, and she was certainly in violation of that. You should try not to keep your anger all held in until you explode like that though because the person MOST effected by your rage is yourself. Sure, it might get the point across to the other person, but you are ultimately hurting yourself, mind and body (especially your foot haha).

Just keep your head up, high school sucks and it's terribly hard to just drop friends and pick up new ones, ones your deserve and will care about you and respect you, but it surely gets easier after you graduate. How's your foot doing?

 

my foots okay now, my toes are just bruised and i cracked my nail on my big toe (ew!)

i really want to just stop hanging out with jane because i know she absolutely violated the unwritten code. i would never do something like that to her, especially since she should know how it feels since her first love broke up with her and less than a month later her best friend ended up pregnant with his baby.

i don't think that dropping jane as a friend would hurt me too much, seeing as shes never really been there for me anyway i guess, except to call me to ask me if i had money so she could smoke weed with me, which was code for pretty much just buying her weed. also, i don't really have many friends in school anyway, i'm pretty much a loner and i would say i have less than 3 friends at my school (not including jane), and none of them i hang out with outside of school really expcept for the girl who ditched me tonight to go out and party.

my best friend lives in alabama, and since i live in pennsylvania its pretty hard for me to go to her house to seek comfort.

 

my friends older bro goes to wilkes... and i attended THE craziest party there lol..

and i'm starting to recover from my post ditch depresion syndrome :cheers2:

 

It's hard when your friends live all over the place, sadly that will just get more frequent in time. Only one of my "bffs" lives pretty close, and she's still 45 minutes away. All my other close buds are too far away to just go visit when I need um, but we talk and text and sometimes snail mail it up, but it's not the same as being able to go over their house and get a big hug when you need it

 

and i agree with stella, siezed. jane sounds like a bitch... i was like WTF! when i read about how she didnt offer you a hit or a cig... let alone the other shit..